My past is haunting me?

Question

Three years ago I was the worst child in the whole world, I did drugs, smoked, partied till late. I barely ate and never slept and I was very promiscuous. Then one night at a party my best friend was passed out (she also did drugs) I was too busy to deal with her, so I put her in one of the bathrooms. A couple of hours later when I started to sober up I needed to go to the bathroom to puke, in the bathroom was my friend, but when I checked on her she didn’t respond and she felt cold. I had a fight with some of my friends and they told me that we shouldn’t call the police, we carried her out to a field and then we called an ambulance. After that we all ran.

After that I tried to kill myself a couple of times so my mother sent me to live with my grandparents, which ultimately helped me. I then went to live with my father, in a new town, with new friends and a new school. I changed my life around. Now my past is haunting me, there is this girl in my new school who makes me think of my friend. She’s a bit younger and every time I see her I want to tell her how sorry I am. It feels like my past is haunting me, I thought I put it all behind me, but every time I see her I see my old self, I see my old friend. All my old feelings of guilt and sorrow and hate are coming back. What can I do? I need help…

Only mature answers please…

Answer 1

well did your friend die? if no than you need to write to her and tell her how sorry you are and if she did die you need to write your feeling down because it sounds like you never really dealt with the guilt of what happened or what you think you did wrong and you need to get those feelings out! you also need therapy something you should have gotten already!

Answer 2

find out is she is ok,and write her a letter.and ask for her for forgiveness,and try to repair the friendship.If she is deceased ask her parents for forgiveness,tell them the situation.

Answer 3

Do you know the girl personally or are these just observations? If you know her, have a talk with her. Share with her some (not all) of what you went through and how hard it was. That may inspire her to change her ways.

If you don't know her, try to become friends with her. You may set an example for her since she is younger than you.

Guilt is not a positive emotion. Try volunteering and giving back to your community so you can make a difference and turn your negative past into a positive future. Our experiences are our best learning tools, and you can use what you have learned to make a positive influence on someone else's life.  

Answer 4

let it go, the past is the past move on

Answer 5

Time's gone by.  You overhauled your life.  You live in a new town with a different parent.  It is still haunting you.  It probably will until you work it through completely.  Maybe later you can volunteer or give something back to the community.  Right now, it sounds like you need help of your own because this is a major trauma for you.  It would be for anyone with a conscience.  Talk to your dad about seeing a therapist, someone who is trained at helping you help yourself overcome what went on in your prior life.  Look for someone experienced and who is a good fit.  Not all therapists are the same and you want someone who will be good for you.  I'm sorry this happen and hope you find the way to forgive yourself.

Answer 6

talk to a counsellor and get this off your chest,  

you were young and were in a bad crowd, don't be so hard on yourself, you have turned your life around and now start taking pride in yourself.

I wrote everything down on little rolls of paper and then tied them to white balloons that had been filled with helium,  I stood in the moonlight and said my peace to the universe and I let them go.

all the best to you,  you have come a long way,  just forgive yourself  

Answer 7

forget about it there's no point in letting yourself get worried if it happened in the past you cant change it life goes on . do want to stay like this forever.  anyway there is nothing to worry about your mind is playing tricks. and dont even think about going to a therapist becuase they cant help you, no one can, only yourself becuase you've acctually been in that stuation what you did was wrong and it was all probably peer pressure but theres nothing you can do about it now.

if your a teen woory about your education now, thats my philosophy.

and i am saying this when i am only 12.

Answer 8

Why don't you try volunteering to help troubled teenagers who act like your friend did? Since you were in their position, you can understand and help them more than others. It'll help you atone for your past.

Answer 9

You made a mistake, you have repented for it (by feeling guilty), and now it is time to forgive yourself. Perhaps talking to a minister will help or talk to high school students about it as a precautionary tale. Give back to the society and in time you will move past your mistake.

God bless you.

Answer 10

I'm sorry. I has a similar situation. Only, I fell into a brush because I was drunk and broke my ankle. I think you should talk to a therapist. They really help, I promise. It is like venting for a whole hour to someone who had something good and mature to say. Talk to your doctor or parent to explore options.

Was your friend ok?  

Answer 11

Wow! I think the best thing to do is turn yourself in. Your a criminal and should be in jail. Not trying to be mean just realistic. Good luck with that though.