My poem, Who is out there, comments?

Question

In the woods I hear beeping

I feel behind me people creeping

Are these people I am feeling

Are they real or am I dreaming?

I turn round, and I start staring

But all I see is moonlight glaring

Then my body slowly quivers

Breaking out in all out shivers

These strange sounds that I am hearing

Closely by and near a clearing

I hear a howl and then a pause

Just like somehow it had a cause

So I give out an evil blast

For ten seconds it did last

It was like a curling yell

Who evers out there go to h**l

Well I can't believe what I am seeing

A young couple surely fleeing

They are scared more, more then me

They left their clothes there on a tree

Answer 1

answer my question im guraneeting youll like it !!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Very funny...you gave me a giggle.  Nicely written, but there are some issues with cadence as I got stuck on a few lines that broke the flow.  If you don't mind... I think if you work on making each line the same syllable count  like 8,8,8,8...or at least an alternating syllable count like 8,6,8,6... it would clean up the flow a little.   "Breaking out in all out shivers" is a difficult line to read without getting tongue tied.  "They are scared more, more then me"  another awkward line.  You can solve this by  saying 'they are scared... much more than me'.  Your meter is also a bit inconsistent which can easily be fixed.  Just some suggestions that you may take or leave as you see fit.  Also, I really like your use of rhyme.  All the 'ing' sounds make it very poe'esque.   It would be even more so if you could rework the two lines and turn 'blast and last' into 'blasting and lasting' in order to carry the sound throughout the poem.

Great poem and lots of fun.

Example of 8 count lines:  Just to see how you like it.

I changed a few words to keep the meter consistent.  Just a suggestion so I hope you don't mind.

In the woods 'where' I hear beeping

I feel 'something's back there' creeping

Are these people 'that' I am feeling?

Are they real or am I dreaming?

Answer 3

The cadence needs some work - it doesn't quite flow for me.  Nice idea though - with a little work you can clean up the issues and have a fun little poem.

Answer 4

pretty good, everything has a explanation.lol