My poem. Comments are welcomed.

Question

Who am I?

I’m not even sure,

I knew once upon a time,

But it seems I’ve lost my way.

I can cover the pain,

Force a smile,

But deep inside,

I still try to hide.

I’m lost in the world,

Unsure and alone,

What have I become?

This is not who I am.

Answer 1

Surprisingly cool. Has a speech-like form to it.

Nicely done. (it appeals to my emo side)

Answer 2

This poem is giving good insight into someone that is insecure.It is a great way to open up your feelings. It sounds like a poem of discovery and longing. If it is a poem about yourself I hope you find out who you are. I use to be that way and decided to do little things that made me happy until soon I was doing all things that made me happy. The hardest thing can be finding yourself. Expect a lot of errors but in the end the real you will emerge again. Remember though if you have at least one person in your life that is there for you through all that insecurity and pain, you are not alone.

Answer 3

Very sad,

This is about either losing your identity

or not knowing who you are.

There is the unsureness,

along with pain of being lost.

With these feelings you are alone

It is hard to smile when

one is experiencing these feelings.

Hiding the feelings is not healthy.  

Answer 4

why don't you look at another person and try to imagine what they're feeling...   and write down in words what that might look like..  

I think it's good to write this kind of stuff - but it's best to keep it to yourself and not make it public..   this is more therapy than poetry in my opinion.. poetry is from an outside observer's perspective..

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong with expressing your personal thoughts in poetry. In fact, most of the great modern poets have done this. Ignore the post above mine.

As to your poem, it's sad, honest and rings true. But you can take this poem and make it so much more, make it a remarkable statement about life in general and about the many who feel the way you do. You can expand your vocabulary to include refreshing, artistic ways to say the same things you feel. You  have the talent to do so.