My poem~ comments really appreciated?

Question

She will sit on the windowsill.

and wait for the night sky to absorb her body and soul,

Those promises you once offered,

To protect her,

and to need her are all gone now.

If she tumbled,

would you catch her?

Does it matter now?

Now, that there is nothing left.

But a hollow shell.

Left to go with your hollow heart.

Answer 1

I'm sorry to be cruel, but I've read your other questions/poems and they're all pretty terrible and this one isn't any better. In my opinion.

Answer 2

Have you read poems of others or experienced poets? Sometimes this can give some ideas for writing or constructing a poem.  Perhaps, you can use metaphors, and similes...

I tried rewriting a couple of lines, just to give an idea on how you can write it in a different way...to add moods/emotions...etc.

She sits on the windowsill;

Waiting for the night sky

To absorb her body and soul.

Those promises you once offered,

To protect her,

And to need her --

Are all gone now.

If she tumbled,

Would you catch her?

Does it matter now?

There is nothing left,

But a hollow shell;

Left to go with your hollow heart.

Answer 3

Thats pretty powerfull !! Really really nice  !!

Keep it up !

good luck xx

Answer 4

Bit cliche....give it more layers...a better sense of a positive or negitive mood...think more of comparisons/ongoing metaphors...it's slighty dull to be honest but has potential to be good.

Answer 5

Its pretty, I liked it,

You have good imagination and your vision is good, you visualized the girl from her inner self*the thoughts, how empty she feels*and mixed with hidden desire to get away from pain

with slightest hope that he would come and safe her from the dark death, as if she isn’t accepting death ,,or living without him ,struggling is obvious in this peom:D you have a talent go girl:D