My pregnant sister's husband left her but I warned her a long time ago?

Question

I warned her two years ago this would happen. Way before they got married I told her he was a cheat and liar. He even tried to come on to me in MY house during a dinner party a year ago! I have four children and my husband and I were hosting the party for THEM. Come on! I pulled her aside the next day as they were staying with us and told her about the situation and she said it was because he was drunk and obviously had mistaken me for her. Now, she is married to him and due with his baby Aug. 20th. He packed and left while she was staying with our parents for the week preparing for their 50th Anniversary party this weekend. I have warned her but she wouldn't listen and now he's gone. I can't act suprised so what can I say? I won't say "I told you so" of course but this is just too much. She is so distraught she won't get out of bed, our parents have over 200 guests coming in 5 days, and she has a baby coming in month. This can't be a surprise? What do I say?

Answer 1

Honestly?

If you are that upset about it, I would attempt to stay away from her for awhile.  Until you get over being that upset so you will be available to console her.  

Even though you did warn her and even though you are angry with her for not knowing better - you are still her sister and should be able to be there for her when she's down and upset.  

Once she gets over it (and she eventually will) then you can tell her how upset/angry you were about the whole situation.

Good Luck.  :)

Answer 2

Nothing. You've already said enough

Answer 3

You just comfort her.  nothing else you can do.  Keep reminding her she has a beautiful baby coming soon and she will eventually meet someone else, someone who will treat her right.  But whatever you do not bring up "well this was expected."

EDIT: well if you feel you cant comfort her, then just stay away from ehr right now.  Only time heals anyway, but if she wants to talk to you, just listen.

Answer 4

She remembers your words, I am sure... yet she made her decisions so just be there for her and try to act understanding. Yes, you were right, but that is not what matters right now. If you are there for her now, when she feels better I guarantee she will be talking about how she should have listened to you and then thanking you for not being a ****** about it :)

Answer 5

don't say anything, be a good listener.  

you can only give advice, people won't always take them. so please don't remind her.

Answer 6

Have you ever been in a abusive relationship?

If not, don't judge. Love blinds people

Being pregnant with the father leaving is probably stressful enough so I think you shouldn't say anything but just be there for her like a sister should REGARDLESS of what you said or thought he was.

Answer 7

My sisters is a loser magnet and I've nursed her through many a bad breakup.... sigh.  I feel your pain.  As much as you want to smack them and say "what did you expect, I told you so!" - you just can't.  Its so easy to see the obvious when you're not directly and emotionally involved.  Its obvious to you he was a jerk.  Your sister was in love and blind to it.  She doesn't have your insight on this and you can't blame her for it.  Its ok to feel angry, but do it privately.

You don't have to say anything to her.  Just listen and be supportive.  As tempting as it may be, don't badmouth her ex.

He's a jerk, but he's the father of her baby, and they are forever linked now.  Just encourage her to move on and get strong for the sake of the baby.    See if you can help her get back on her feet.  Something to that effect.

Good luck!

Answer 8

People will do whatever they want because they don't see things from outside of the situation. Give her some time. Hopefully the guy won't come back and as time goes by she will be like "what the h**l was I thinking?" It might take a couple years for her to have that "ah ha" moment. In the mean time don't preach or give advice. Just listen to her, and help her its going to be rough.

Answer 9

Regardless of you seeing this coming a long time ago or not, she loved that man and was blind to the obvious. She is having his child and probably thought it would all be better.

You need to be there for her and show her that she needs to be strong for her baby to be. She can overcome this pain but she will need your support.

Right or wrong, love her!

She is hurting, her heart is broken, she feels lost and alone.

Help her.

Good Luck and God Bless your family and your sister and her little bean to be.