Question:

My "husband" punched me a few times in the face, what should I do?

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My "husband" or soon to be ex are in the process of going through a divorce. I moved out of our home into an apartment complex right next door to my brother with our 3 daughters recently. My husband and I decided to meet over dinner tonight to discuss living arrangements for our daughters. We met at a restaurant however I was a bit disappointed he brought his mother along to throw in her two cents about everything. So after the dinner we were in the parking lot, his mother was still inside using the bathroom, and I asked him to come to my apartment for a little bit afterwards so we could talk alone without his mother, the original plan. He dropped his mother off, we get back to my apartment together, I thank and pay the babysitter and she leaves, my daughters already asleep at this point. My husband and I sat down at the breakfast bar in my kitchen and started discussing possible arrangements. The only thing he offered or would agree to with them spending weeks back and forth, one week at my place, the next at his, etc. I don't want to do that because when they get older it will be harder to get them to school and such. I said how about maybe a couple afternoons a week and every-other weekend or something along those lines. He started yelling no, I'm telling you how its going to be. I looked at him and sarcastically said "No, it's really not." He then firmly grabbed me and picked me and stared at me for a few seconds, before he decided to start swinging at me. After I felt him hit my face hard at least twice, it was just immediate reaction to start swinging back. He then started getting more violent and my brother came running over because he heard me screaming. My brother got my daughters, left them with his wife and took me to the er because I was cut open and bleeding. I ended up with a broken nose, 5 stitches above my lip and a swollen jaw. My brother sat in the waiting room, and I talked to the nurses & doctor alone. I was scared and maybe in a little bit of shock. I lied to them and told them that I had fallen in the shower, and hit my face on the faucet. After thinking about it, I don't know why I lied. Can I still file a police report or something after lying to the er?

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17 ANSWERS


  1. Don't report him. Just avoid him. For your children's sake. I'm againts domestic violence don't get me wrong. What he did was really wrong. Also, you were violent with him too. What you did was really wrong too. It just so happens he's the stronger of you both. Try to get along with him but never be alone with him anywhere. He is emotionally destroyed by the ruined marriage. His heart is torn into pieces. You have said things that provoke him to get so angry. He doesn't want to lose time with his children and they are all he has left. He's already lost you. In his heart, his wife has already died and you will never replace this woman (you used to be with him) he married. He is experiencing a great loss. Violence in any way is wrong. Let this go and stop believing everything you see on tv. Don't be around him alone and stop destroying your children with all your fighting. For goodness sake, get along.


  2. Yes, of course you can still file a police report.  Make sure you at least bring your brother with you, so he can witness that your "husband" was at the house.  You will also want to explain to the police about lying to the ER.  Did anyone happen to take pictures?  File the police report, and get a restraining order quick as you can.  Good luck.

  3. Yes, you can still file a report.  You can say that you were afraid at the time, and didn't want to say the truth to what happened.  You might want to place an order of protection not to be confused with a restraining order and that would mean an order of protection in all the places that you will be at such as your home, families home addresses,  children's school, etc.  Do it now!!  Make sure you take pictures of the harm he did to you to for evidence.

  4. Let's change the focus here. Why were you already separated from him? Did he catch you cheating? If so you have him emotionally abusing this man and he finally struck back. Sure, you'll say it's nothing like that, but people in here are so gullible that they believe everything without questioning it, so to justify yourself and to make yourself feel better, you put it on here, admit to lying and expect everyone here to do what they always do and believe you. Should he have hit you? No. Was he just defending himself because you attacked him after he told you "I'm telling you how its going to be", and he just hit you to get you away from him since you knew you had backup because your brother was close by? Some of us can see right through your little scheme. If he beat you like you said he did, and everything happened like you said it did, then you wouldn't have came on here to ask anything, you would have went straight to the cops. After this maybe he should file a charge against you, and get the girls all the time.

  5. send him to jail. get a restraining order.

  6. OMG! Why are you setting at your computer? Get on the phone right this minute and call the police! NEVER lie about domestic violence! You NEED to get him arrested for this beause it will play in your favor in the divore proceedings, and it will send a message to him and others like him that women aren't going to take it any more!

    Any man who would do such as that for any reason is a tiny tiny boy.

    You should also consider contacting your local womens shelter, they have many resources that you could take advantage of. Make sure to get pictures of your injuries too! This is very important!  

    By the way kudos on fighting back, I hope you clocked him good a few times!

    NOW get on the phone and call the police and make the report and press the charges.

  7. GROW UP AND TAKE A STAND! There are far to many resources for battered women then to play the victim.

    If he has done this before and you still had kids you deserved it.

  8. Have him charged IMMEDIATELY... dont worry about not telling others the truth.. the police recognize wife abuse... protect yourself and your babies and have the jerk locked up... please be safe and strong for your kids..hugs

  9. Oh my dear, I am so sorry you have had to go through all this awful pain.

    Yes, you can and should contact the police.  Just tell them you were in shock, embarrased, and scared and that's why you lied.

    Hang in there and be strong for your kids.

  10. OF COURSE YOU CAN YOU ARE IN DANGER GO TO THE POLICE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you can get help for your dreading X. He's terrible

  11. yes you can you need to explain that to them though that you didnt tell them the truth because maybe you were afraid he would do it again ect. He isnt going to get custody thats for sure maybe even supervised visits. YOU need to call the police asap

  12. Yes, file that report.  The sooner the better honestly, the longer you wait the less believable it looks.  It's time to start being honest.

    If your husband is found to be an abuser he may not end up with custody of the kids at all.


  13. sounds like a set up and a repeat posting to me

  14. Never lie to cover up for an abuser. Yes, you can still call the police. Get a restraining order and never be with him alone again. He brought his mother huh? LOL  I hate mama's boys. She evidently didn't raise a man. Don't let this get out of control, it can get that way before you know it hunny.

  15. Go to the police and tell them he said he would hit you again if you told the police.  File a complaint and ask that be arrested for hitting you.

    Don't let the maggot get away with hitting you

  16. I'm sorry to hear what happened.  You should have told the doctors what happened.  They could document it in the medical records for the courts.  You should report it to the police.  You swinging back is self defense.  From this point on don't meet with him alone.  good luck

  17. You can still file a police report. State to them you covered up for your soon to be ex and your brother was where when this happened or shortly there after. Get a lawyer file first then he will have to answer your allegations. Document every thing. keep records. If he hits you again call 911.. When you file you put in what you want for custody and visitation. At this time it's not his choice. Your lawyer and the judge will help in setting visitation that's best for the children. Ask lots of questions so that you understand. Good luck and stay safe.

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