My roommate is rather irresponsible..?

Question

I'm moving into a new house on Labor Day. It's got two bedrooms and one bathroom. My roommate, who happens to be my best friend, is very irresponsible. Especially with her money. She recently got a credit card and hit the maximum a week and a half later. She bought useless things. Storage bins, a marker board, an invader zim blanket, etc. Last week, she promised me she would help me paint the new house on her only day off from work. She never showed up because she was with her boyfriend, so i did it myself. She then promised me she'd help Sunday (yesterday)..but she didn't. Now, she wants her boyfriend to move in with us. He said he'd pay half the rent..which is fine. But when you pay for a house, you pay for the comfort of your home and the ability to relax. What do I do? I'm afraid if I say he can't move in, she won't move in, meaning i'll be paying rent by myself. I live in a remote location, so roommates aren't exactly easy to find. And what do I do about the roommate who isn't dependable? I've talked to her about it, but she just makes promises that she can't keep, although she swears that she'll have the rent on the first of the month, every month, no exceptions. We move in in a week...what do I do? *Not allowing her to move in is NOT an option at this point.*

Thank you!

Answer 1

Start looking for other living arrangements.

You can NOT change this person. I wonder that you agreed to live together with someone when you know how she is.

Uh, if three people are sharing a place, then shouldn't each pay 1/3? (BTW, if he is NOT as flake as she is, maybe you're better off with him in the mix.)

Part of the problem here is that you agreed to one thing, now she's trying to change the agreement.

I don't see what you can do, though, as you've already agreed to room with her, and you can't afford rent by yourself. It's a shame you're name is on  the lease.

You need to learn to be very careful in financial arrangements with friends. The criteria for a good friend is NOT the same as for a good roomy.

So, take your lumps for now, and look into other arrangements as soon as you can. Then put the whole thing down as an important Learning Experience.

Answer 2

You are in a serious pickle. WOWEE! If she is irresponsible now, I am afraid she is going to create some heartbreak for you living with you. You may end up with extra work on your hands and even a problem with her slacking on her end of the deal. The boyfriend moving in my create more heartache for you. I sort of get the impression that they may be the types that will make messes, sit around and do nothing. I don't know it's just an impression I get.

A week from now, OUCH! I understand your predicament of saying her not moving in is an option. Sometimes becoming a roommate with a best friend can destroy the friendship

This is what I suggest. Make up a contract and MAKE SURE you get it notorized. Write her responsibilities and his. Write about the payment agreement on utilities and so on. Write about the importance of making sure the house is clean that they do their part, I don't know if you guys are going to share food and split the bill or what. MAKE sure you write everything down on this contract and make them both sign it. Get it notorized. Give them 6 months. Sometimes the first few months can be hectic and plus you are giving them a fair chance. If they don't straighten up, then they have to leave. If during that time period you see it isn't working out, then start looking for other roommates.

Beware of the food situation too that is one of the MOST PETTY things room mates fight over. Sometimes it's just easier to split the grocery bill :0D

I hope this helps, it helped me when I had a room mate.

Answer 3

well, if you say she cant keep the promises that she makes, then what if its time to pay the rent. And if she cant pay, then what would happen? you would have to pay for it in the first place, and then you would be running after her, etc, and there goes your comfort and relaxation and the freindship gets to one side. Just think about the whole scenario for a second. I cannot give you suggestions as to what you should do. Because you would only do what your heart and mind tells you to do. Good luck!

Answer 4

In my experience, moving in with someone you are close with is a really fast way to kill a friendship. I hate to ask, but if you knew she was so irresponsible, why would you agree to live with her? sounds like she and her bf should get a place. At this point, the bf is going to be over all the time anyway, so you might as well get a break on the rent. just set very clear house rules, that everyone agrees to and signs.  

Answer 5

Sit her down alone and go over your feelings with her. Tell her that you respect the fact that she loves him, but you wouldn't feel comfortable at your own home with someone you barely know. Chances are she'll get defensive and say that she knows him, to which you need to be soft and assertive and say that although you understand that, you yourself still wouldn't feel comfortable with it.

If she plays the "well i'm not coming" card, then you'll just have to try to explain how that makes you feel. But my honest opinion of someone who chooses a boyfriend over a friend in that circumstance is not a good one.

Or you can talk to him. Depends how you think he'll react, if he's a good guy he'll understand and do the leg work for you, but, if your not sure, you'll be better off speaking with her

Answer 6

Oh, I'd hate to be in your situation. I'm very sure your friend will attempt at paying you when she says she will, but I don't know if it is a great idea to rely on her for paying it. You should let her boyfriend move in, and then, who knows? Maybe they will break up and he will move out? And from what you are saying, it doesn't seem like anyone could be worse than your best friend (no offense, really.) Maybe, if he moves in, he'll straighten her up! I think what you should do, is let things come as they go. Just let him move in.

Answer 7

ouch.  This is tricky.  One bathroom is just too small for you to share with a roommates boyfriend.  Just let her know that and that should solve that.  But then you still have to contend with "overnight visits".  

I have been watching alot of peoples court lately and the best thing you can do for yourself right now is make sure that you have a renters agreement in place with her - in writing - including the number of over night visits that are acceptable by any kind of non-rentpaying visitor.

She may feel that her purchasing useless conveniances is adequate in place of pulling her weight around the house.  If it is your house then you are responsible for certain landlord responsibilities but if you are giving her a reduced rental amount in exchange for helping around the house that needs to be spelled out specifically in your agreement.

If you are renting the house and she is technically subrenting from you then you still need to have some written agreement between the two of you so that there are no major headaches in the future. This agreement can be as simple as something the two of you write up together that you agree on prior to move in this next week or you can go to an attorney.  Either way it is worth the extra expense now. what is the consequence to her if she does not get the rent in on time.  Standard agreements incur penalties and late fees after a certain date.

Right now it sounds like you are setting yourself up for a major headache in the future if you don't get something (anything) in writing.  If you don't believe me then spend the next week watching people's court.