My roommate might be dating her stalker?

Question

Ok, so anyone with any insight to lend would be greatly appreciated. Its a long story.

My roommate has been rather desperate for a rather long time. She's a 24 year old virgin and has been desperate to loose it. This has lead to a series of unwise decisions. In Dec., she went out on a first date with this guy who she deemed to be the ultimate looser. She didn't want to see him again, but didn't have the guts to tell him so. Anyway, he called literally, everyday, for three weeks straight. I told her she had to tell him she wasn't interested or I was going to kill her and break the phone. (Obviously this guy just doesn't take a hint.) Since then this guy contacted her repeatly on facebook, although she has not replied, and she has obsessed about going out with him again (as she grows more and more desperate). I have told her that it is not a good idea and she should not reply.

This weekend we accidently ran into this guy and they chatted for about five minutes before they ran off to a corner to make out. The next day, she tells me that this guy told her her checks her facebook profile every week to see what she's up to. (Oh, also he knew who I was when I met him because of the pictures he'd posted. It really creeped me out.) This is a guy she met in a bar and they went out on one date about 6 months ago. I actually thought it might be a good thing they go out as I believed it would remind her that he was a creeper. Actually, she seemed to believe he was a creeper BEFORE the date but went going out anyway.

Ok, to make a very long story a little shorter, she ended up sleeping with the guy on the first date and now they are 'seeing' eachother. I am really creeped out by how obssessed this guy has been with my roommate over the past six months, and now I think he'll become MORE obsessive as they've slept together.

Also, I think I'm disappointed in her. We are really close and I never expected her to degrade herself like this. Sleeping with a guy on the first date who she thinks is a creeper is beyond pathetic.

Plus, I don't want a creepy stalker man whose ten years older than me hanging around the apartement. I'm actually mad at her because I think she has placed herself in an unsafe situation. I have no problem with one night stands and sleeping with people on the first date, but not when they've been so obssessive and stalkery. Do you think I'm being overly cautious? What should I say to her about this situation?

Answer 1

I think you have every right to be worried, given the info you've just described.  If you continue to feel more uncomfortable about this guy, you may want to ask your friend not to have him visit while you are there.  Otherwise, maybe you should move out.  

Answer 2

It could be your life. You should be cautious. Why did she make out with the guy? You should talk to her and let her know how you feel. Do what is best for you.

Answer 3

How old is your friend and you? Call your friends' parent and inform them about the happening. The stocker might have drugged her or blackmailing her. You need to help your friend and yourself. Inform her parents before it becomes too late.

Answer 4

I don't know what to tell you other than making it clear to her, that there is something very important you want to talk to her about and you are serious! Be nice to her and keep good eye contact, but don't raise your voice at her, don't loose your cool and most of all let her know you are only concerned about her safety.

Answer 5

there is no fault in her ,, it happens naturally,, she was desparate to loose her virginity,, she only wanted a partner who could do so,..., MOREOVER she was blind in sexual attraction  

Answer 6

i doubt your being overly causious.. he sounds alil weird..

but how to go about it? well maybe just explain to her that she could do so much better, take her out one night and get her to meet some hot guys, that way she can see that she can get better...

i think maybe she needs some self confidence in order to believe she deserves better than a creep!

soo if you wanna help? get her feeling good and confident.. then make this creep look worse. point out the bad things about him.. and sooner or later she will see she deserves better.

Answer 7

Warn your friend and if she doesnt agree..leave her

Answer 8

SIT DOWN AND EAT SOME BREAKFAST. Tell them how you value the relationship and bring up how good of friends you are and you like how you can always talk with them. So with that said, ease into somethings been bothering you. Then she'll only ask whats wrong? So I think thats when you should inform her of HOW YOU FEEL. Whats the worst there?