My school psychologist and learning strategist told my mom they think I have ADHD but she thinks ADHD is fake?

Question

I go to a year round high school (I'm 16) and the year just started. I have dyslexia (I'm not in the states, here dyslexia qualifies you as LD) and mom and I were at an IEP meeting. The psychologist and learning strategist had been going over teacher observations from last year and the year before, as well as observations made during tests by the psychologist (WIAT-II, ect.), and my report cards and teacher comments from elementary school and the psychologist and learning strategist told my mom that they think I have ADHD, and she should consult our family doctor about it. My mom blew up at them, and told them ADHD is just a made up disease, and went on this long rant about how tapping and fidgeting is just the way I am, and I can pay attention if I want to, after all, I can be hyper-focused on music, and that doesn't mean I have a disease.

When the school told her they thought I had dyslexia when I was 8, she blew up at them and told them that some kids don't learn to read until there 8, that's normal, after all she didn't, and of course I can't spell, neither can she. And it took her a really long time to let them test me and help me, and to this date she still says I just have a spelling problem at IEP meetings.

I really think I do have ADHD, but I will never get help with out my mom, at least not before I graduate. Does anyone know how I can help her see that ADHD isn't just 'made up'? If not, can I go to the doctor once I am 18 with out my mom for an evaluation for ADHD?

Thanks

Answer 1

number 1, tell your mother that ADHD is not fake, i have it and its very common in kids and adults, show her books about it, and show her it on Wikipedia,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adhd

its not fake, she can even ask doctors and psychologist.

Answer 2

You mom may come around.  Parents can be very defensive if they can't deal with problems regarding their children normally.  Yes, you can make an appointment for a full evaluation for the day you turn 18.  If you go to see the general physician between now and then I would ask for them for assistance.  It depends on the physician, but some may speak to your mom again on your behalf or give you a person to call to make your appointment.

In a calm manner, I would tell your mom of your intentions to be evaluated.  You may want to do this in a letter.  ADHD looks alot different in girls than in boys.  Why not see if there is a website that you could print out and give to her with the letter?

Answer 3

It seems like they're pretty understanding at your school. Speak to the guidance department and ask them for suggestions and about the legalities. Be aware that this could really aggravate the situation with your mother. It looks like you're concerned and she is in denial about the realities you're trying to face.

I learned to cope and to this day I'm brilliant when it comes to Jumble word puzzles but ask me to read what's on the page.

Answer 4

First of all, good for you for being so self-aware and with it. Most kids your age (ADHD or not) don't have this quality.  I am not sure if your mom will ever come around; You said yourself she still refuses to acknowledge your LD as a legitimate neurological problem after 8 years! However, 2 years is a long time to wait to go see a doctor for your medical problem, and you should not have to suffer because of her ignorance.  Also, your school performance could be suffering as well, meaning that you may have the potential to do better in school if your condition were addressed.  

I would go to see your guidance counselor and/or your school psychologist.  I don't know how things work where you are, but i the US, at age 16, you have the right to call an IEP meeting any time you want. Talk to your guidance person and ask to call an IEP meeting to discuss your possible ADHD.  It will be easier to confront your mom with everyone present to support you.  After this meeting, if she still doesn't come around, ask your guidance counselor to refer you to your school social worker.  Your mom's refusal to get you evaluated for a possible medical issue could be considered abuse.  The social worker can also help you find support resources and go over your legal rights with you.

I wish you the best of luck.

PS. Where are you located?

Answer 5

Do you become almost obsessive focused on something at times, and other times are as distractable as a butterfly flitting about?  Check out this link, as you scroll down the page you'll see the 6 types of ADD as proposed by Dr Daniel Amen. This is his area of expertise, study, and research.  http://amenclinics.com/ac/waystohelp.php...  



At the bottom of the page is a list of common treatments, many of which you can do all by yourself if you want.  They may not cure ADHD if you have it, but I bet they make a huge difference for you.

EDITED TO ADD:  

I Re-read your question, and focused on the part where the psych and learning strategist said your Mom should consult your doctor.  I kind of don't blame her for blowing up at them.   At my son's last IEP meeting, testing indicated his auditory comprehension was at a 2-3 grade level, he's just finishing 5th grade. That was the main reason he was tuning out in class. The psych kept saying "maybe he's got attention issues, you should have it checked out with the doctor. His own testing indiciated "50% chance for ADHD".  It was obvious to both myself and his teacher that the main issue was understanding what was being said, not ADHD.   Your school psych can test for ADHD and modifications can be written in your IEP to help with areas where ADHD is causing learning problems.  If your testing comes up with significant findings, that could help your Mom see how it's affecting your learning.  The IEP team can make these modifications without a DR diagnosis or you taking medication.

Now, regarding it being a "made up" disease, Is it because she thinks ADHD medication isn't good for you, or it's something made up by pharmacutical companies?  There are things you can do for ADHD without taking prescription drugs. See if you can get your Mom to look at the above web pages as well.  Talk about some of the things you can do on your own and see if she'll support you in those things.  Another thing to try, is having a cup of coffee in the morning.  The stimulant effect of the coffee would be similar to an ADHD stimulant medication.  If it makes a huge difference in your ability to focus, then hurray!  Keep it up.  What a simple fix.  

I have to say, I have a 15 yr old daughter diagnosed with ADHD by a clinical psychologist.  After much consideration, we did try the adderall the doctor recommended.  Most drugs for ADHD, are pretty strong medications, and not to be considered lightly.  When she goes back to school, we're not putting her back on the adderall. The adverse reactions outweighed the benifits.  We'll work more on diet, and modifications of the environment at home, TV, computer, etc...   I work in an environment where I've seen kids with severe ADHD.  It's truely remarkable how bad it can be.  I've seen the wonderful benifits they had when taking these medications.  It is real.

Answer 6

Lots of times parents react like this for a variety of reasons.  Sometimes they are defensive because they are afraid that they will be judged as dumb because THEY didn't notice it.  Sometimes they think it will reflect on them.  Sometimes they think people will think something is wrong with them.  And sometimes - I just don't know - they read something somewhere or share some specific beliefs, religious or cultural.  In any event I am providing you a link to a site with very comprehensive information.  I think you will find something that you can print out and show your mom.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publicati...

Good luck.