My separated husband comes over every weekend,?

Question

when he is here he is so romantic and affectionate then when i drop him off at his place and i say how about a kiss for me he puts his cheek out.so basically when he is here its like he is back and treats me like his wife and when i take him home i get treated the same way he did the day b4 he left.what does this mean as he left because he said he didnt love me and he doesnt think he ever did.what should i do i believe in my heart he is my soul mate and as i said he treats me so nice here we even snuggle on the couch watching a movie.help me someone tell me does this man love me is he worth it.i have been with this man for almost twenty yrs and he left four mths ago because he couldnt handle it any more.please help me i am so lonely and confused about him.

Answer 1

Sorry to sound crude, but you need to tell him to either p**s or get off the pot. He wants to have it both ways - romance with you and then freedom when the weekend is over. Put your foot down. However it works out, you'll be happier in the long run.  

Answer 2

Angela,

If he left and says he doesn't love you then it's a clear sign of issues here.

The biggest issue I see is that 'he wants his cake and eat it too'. It sounds like he wants to be free but he also wants the benefits of being able to come over and be with you whenever he feels like it. Don't enable him.

It's time to get some counseling. If he wants to make a go of the relationship (it sounds like he doesn't I'm afraid) then he can certainly go too. But I would recommend going by yourself if he doesn't want to explore marriage counceling. This would help you let go and move on with your life. I know that's not what you want to hear but trust me, a few years down the road you'll be glad you did.

You know the old saying "If you love someone let it go. If they come back they're yours. If they don't, they never were!"

Good luck!

Enjoy!

Answer 3

what is wrong with you stop letting him treat you like that...and stop letting him come over...you are just a booty call

Answer 4

I must agree with Annoyed, well said and true.  

Answer 5

He treats you nice when he's horny.

Then treats you like dirt when he's not.

I see the pattern. Can't you?

He's stringing you along because he knows he can.

He knows you love him and will give into him sexually.

He knows you will bend over backwards for him.

He's taking advantage of you.

If he really wanted to work on the marriage, he'd be giving more than 6 inches on the weekend.

Answer 6

Sounds like he just likes the s*x with you.  

Better than my marriage, my husband never kissed me, never hugged me and rarely ever touched me.  Even while we were having s*x, it was always at night and always in the dark.  No snuggling.  

You have the opposite problem I had in my marriage.  My marriage is over, divorce was official 8/28/2008.   I'm much happier.  

Or it could be he hasn't found anyone else to have s*x with so he's using you.  

Answer 7

Why are you spending every weekend with a man who says he doesn't love you and never has? If he was your soul mate, it would be reciprocal. Find a man who can give back the love you give. Good luck.

Answer 8

You are allowing him the 'comforts' of marriage without being in one. Why would he come home if he can be on his own, play when he wants, and come to you when he gets 'lonely'? Hes taking advantage of your love for him which only makes him an inconsiderate as*.

If you want to find out if he'll ever come back, stop what you are doing. Tell him you are moving on with your life...without him. Stop being there for him when he wants you. This is the hardest step possible for you to make but its the only way to find out the truth. He will either realize what he has lost, or he will move on himself.