My seven year old son regularly poops his pant, what is going on, what can i do?

Question

My seven year old son has been pooping his pants for about the last year. I've talked to several doctors, and we've had blood work done, and they can't do anything for me. Sometimes after he poops, he starts screaming and crying because he doesn't want anyone to be mad at him but he continues to do it.

He does not have retardation, he is not handicapped, and the local outpatient mental services program says he is not a candidate for their program. I don't know what to do. How much grounding and punishment can it take before a kid realizes that a full bowel means go to the bathroom.

Any *helpful* feedback will be appreciate. One word responses or opinions are NOT welcomed and will be reported.

Answer 1

I worked with challenged (not mentally challenged, but they had behavioral issues, ADHD and other problems that prevented them from being in a regular classroom) middle schoolers for 2 years and ran into things like this a few times.  

Generally it would happen if they were having a hard time at home.  Things like abuse (and I'm not accusing you of abuse, that's just one that I happened to see a lot of), divorce, a move, the death or failing health of a friend or family member, or other life changes can cause this type of behavior.  

There a few things you can try, they are only suggestions, but I hope they help.

Get him on a regular schedule.  Have him wake up, eat, so activities, etc. at around the same time every day.  This gives him a sense of structure, which can be very soothing.

Have him see a counselor.  This can be someone through his school or get a referral from his pediatrician.  This is especially helpful in the cases of divorce, moves, and the death or failing health of someone close.  It may also help to get to the root of the problem if one is not immediately visible.  I am actually amazed that his pediatrician didn't recommend that he see one.

Remember that this is hard on him too, especially if this is something that came upon him suddenly.  It may not be beneficial to punish him, he already knows that it's not right and he doesn't want anyone to be angry so it may be something he doesn't have the control that he needs.  Punishing him may simply make him more stressed and make it worse.

I know I am not an expert, but I do have some experience in this area, I hope I was of some help.  Good luck.

Answer 2

Could it be that he is constipated?  You' ve probably already covered this area with the docs.   I would try to take him to a behavior modification therapist.  It doesn't sound like the punishment is working, I would try something else.

Answer 3

My nephew did that up until he was around 9 years old, including at school.  He was tested - much like your own son.  It did stop in time, but I thought that it may have had something to do with a chaotic homelife.  Is he stressed out at all?  Have you tried ignoring the behavior or calmly making him responsible for cleaning up his mess?  Don't punish him for it, since it's not working.

Answer 4

There are actual physical conditions that result in children and even adults being unable to "feel" when they need to go.  They're bodies don't send the signals and when the bowel becomes full, there's only one way out.  That wouldn't show up in blood work.

Try Benefiber, but don't tell him.  Fiber will dry up looser stool and help with proper consistency as well as help to move all stool through the bowels.  Benefiber dissolves in any food or liquid.  Try it in his juice or cereal in the morning.  There is no color and no flavor.

If all else fails, you may be dealing with irritable bowel syndrome.  In any case, don't be angry with him.  If he truly doesn't have control, it must be devastating for him whenever it happens and he needs to know that you support him.

Answer 5

Well if it is not a medical problem and you are sure of that then you could simply not change him when he does it.  Make him stay in dirty pants for a long time.  Every time he does it just make him sit for a long the on the kitchen floor in dirty pants till he gets very uncomfortable.  The other thing you could do if he does it frequently is change him but when you do put a diaper on him for the rest of the day and night.  Tell him he gets one pair of pants a day.. After that it is a diaper.  Most 7 year olds are not going to want to walk around or go out in a diaper.

Answer 6

My niece is 8 and we have had a rough time with her lately doing te exact same thing. We found out about 6 months ago that she was bi-polar. Her father (my bro), blames everything on her illness, but my theory is that she does it for attention. Her mother left when she was 2 and her mother has a severe case of bi-polar disorder. I saw her mother almost resort back to being a toddler when she wasn't getting enough attention. I threatened my niece with Pull-ups, I even bought a pack for her, she stopped messing herself  almost immediately. I love her and I know that she has control over this and does it on purpose. A little tough love is to be used sometimes and  as soon as the child realizes that you are serious maybe it will stop, Good luck.

Answer 7

well... you should tell him "Big boys don't poo in their pants."

and if he does poo in the toliet, reward him.

maybe if he fits, start having him wear pull-ups.

Answer 8

I have the same problem with my 6 year old daughter. She  was diagnosed with encopresis when she was 3. I have her on a schedule of potty sits about every 30 minutes, she sits anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes at a time. rewards (stickers, M&Ms..etc) are great encentives for pooping in the potty too. Also, try putting him on the potty about 5 minutes after he eats as that is when his digestive system is the most active and that is when he is most likely to have to need to go p**p. Encouragement is a key factor too. Please dont scold or get angry because it will discourage him and make him not want to try. Make a schedule that is best for you and hopfully it will all fall into place. Have patience, because it may take some time to get him used to going in the potty. One really great thing I tried was a potty chart with stickers, it works great and they can track their progress and actually be very proud of themselves! Good luck!!

Answer 9

Is there anything stressful in his life right now? A big change? My cousin did that when she was 6 and it started happening after a big change.

She finally stopped when she got used to her surroundings. You would think that since he is 7 that he would get embarrased. I cant believe that doctors cant find anything, have you tried a counselor, maybe at school?

We figured out that the more you punish and ground them the longer they do it. Its hard no to get angry but, I wouldn't punish him with a grounding.

Good luck.

Answer 10

My ex husband's brother used to do that when he was about 7 also.  Turns out he just did it because he did not want to leave his friends or whatever it was he was doing to have to go to the bathroom, for fear he would "miss something".  It was almost like it was just a huge inconvenience for him.  I wonder if it could be something like that with your son?

Also, my 7 year old has pooped his pants before on accident, and when I asked him what happened/why he did that, he told me that he couldn't help it and that it just "hit him really fast" and he literally just didnt have time to make it to the bathroom.  Turns out after some lengthy time of trying to pattern these episodes, we noticed that every time it happened it was after eating certain foods.  Not that he is allergic to them, but they just move through his system much more quickly, and cause more stools than others.  Maybe you might try checking into that as well.