My significant other deploys in 5 months and wants to get married now...advice?

Question

We have been dating a relatively short amount of time, we are very in love and have talked about the future, what we expect of each other, how we want to live, and agree that we support each other. I'm just trying to get advice from different people that may have an outside view. I want to, but part of me is very nervous and he seems set on the idea. I want us to be doing it for the right reasons.I'm very in love with him and am mature enough to handle marriage. Deployment is serious business though.

Answer 1

Don't do it!

Allowing events like this to drive your decision making schedule is a recipe for disaster.

If you are going to spend the rest of your life with him, then it can wait to start until after he returns from deployment.  It's not like you will see him during that period anyway.

It's a good test - a sort of cooling down period - on your relationship.

And please agree that you both can see others before he returns.  Don't hold a candle for the other before you are married.  No need to be exclusive until you have agreed to a ring and a date.  I did that once, and am kicking myself for it ever since.

Answer 2

I'm going through a similar situation. My fiance is going to deploy in a few months too, and we plan on marrying before-hand. This is serious business like you say, though. If you have any doubts about this whatsoever, do not do it. The risk of your marriage failing while he is away is very high and if you are unsure about it lasting, do not do it. I would get engaged if I were you and wait until he comes home to marry. In my situation, my fiance and I were together for a while and were already engaged before we found out about the deployment. I have no doubts at all about our marriage and cannot wait until it happens. Being a military wife is extremely hard (they say it's the hardest job in the military). If you do decide to marry him, you need to prepare yourself for a tough rode ahead. I suggest you join a family readiness group to help you along the way whether or not you do marry him. Good luck with your decision and be 100% sure about it before you decide.