My significent other wants me to act more feminine. He hates the way I dress, walk and talk?

Question

My soon to be ex-boyfriend wants me to be more girly-like, he wants me to wear heels, dresses, tight fitted pants, thongs, get my nails done and wear perfume......

This confuses me because when I met him..i was with my pair of sweats working out in the school gym...so I do not know where he is coming with all of this c**p

He says that he is embarrased when we go out together because I dress to much like a tomboy...he wants me to look and act more like the way a girl who is in a relationship should look

I am pissed out of my mind because we just got back from the mall and he went out and got me these ugly heels, a summer dress and a little purse...

I refuse to change the way I am for some guy who wants me to look like the stereotypical female..the worst thing about this is that my friends agree with him..i am so angry..he keeps comparing me with my other female friends...

I think he hates the fact that look and act more aggressive and dominant then he does..what a joke

Answer 1

Wow - no wonder you want to go out without him (referring to your question you asked earlier).

I applaud you for sticking to your guns. Besides, I would imagine if you did start to dress up all the time he'd wonder if you were cheating on him.

He sounds like a total control freak. When they go out and buy outfits for you - RED FLAG!

I'd say the sooner you get the h**l away from him the better. And be careful, girl. I see him making your life h**l if you let him, even after the breakup!

Answer 2

That's great that he is soon to be your ex-boyfriend. He sounds very controlling. Dress, walk, and talk the way you want. Nobody can force you to change. And tell your friends to back off, you don't complain about the way THEY Dress.

Answer 3

Danish lady makes a good point. You shouldn't care if you are going to end the relationship.

Answer 4

glad your happy with you.  anyone who loves you will be happy with you too.  he is a sad man and i hope his stupid demands haven't damaged your healthy beautiful sense of self. take care.

Answer 5

What's your question?  You're breaking up with him because of this and you aren't going to change the way you are for him, good for you.  Do what makes you happy...as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.

Answer 6

Every experience we go through teaches us a little more about how to get it right, what we'd rather look for , for next time

Use the lesson, keep even the feeling of how you resented this, for it is but motivation!  and keep going onward..you will get happy, hon.  I'm glad to see you out here asking questions about your issues (really, I am, it means you are going through them, handling them...and it lets us get to know you, which is a valuable thing (I think it is)

In time, I bet you anything we'll  still be here doing this, and your questions  then will reveal someone who has found and established things for herself happily...you will get to there. (everyone does) We all grow and change.Over time.

So, take the lesson and move on to the next more happier arrangement, Nik.

It's alwasy nice to hear from you. I wish it was about happier things, but it soon enough will be!

Answer 7

Looks like you are not compatible :P

Agree with the other answerer, he's you soon to be ex-boyfriend, worry not and find someone else or something.

Answer 8

"Soon to be ex" is about right.

You'll feel better about yourself, and him, when you can shorten that to just "ex" :-)

You might want to do a little pruning of some of those 'friends' too ~ they don't sound exactly supportive. More 'toxic'.

Never settle for second best when you can find someone who loves you for what and who you are, not what THEY want you to be!

Best wishes :-)

Answer 9

Well, you are about to break up with him. Don't get too bothered. Maybe breaking up is the best way. You can move on and find a guy that would love you just they way you are and your soon to be ex-bf can find a feminine woman that loves him back. Happy ending!

Answer 10

if he's your "soon to be ex-boyfriend" then why worry about it

Answer 11

The answers I've seen here are insane. You're supposed to consider your partners feelings and have open discussions and see things from their perspectives. Not immediately get pissed off and dump him- that's what he gets for being honest about how he feels??? Horribly immature!

BTW- because he met you in the gym doesn't mean he expected you to dress like you're in the gym at all times. Change is part of life- you're not supposed to just acquiesce to him but at least hear him out without going on the defensive.

Answer 12

Why do you say "soon-to-be"? Just dump him now while you still have your sanity. No one has the right to tell you how to dress, unless you're being arrested for indecent exposure.

Answer 13

Good for you for not changing to fit his stereo typical image!!!  Sounds to me like he's trying to make you into something you aren't.  I say be yourself and if that isn't "good enough" for him, dump him.  He's not worth it.  There are plenty of men out there that would truly appreciate your natural beauty.

Answer 14

break up with him

Answer 15

I have a serious talk with him.

If he doesn't stop acting like that I might try dumping him, or you could treat him like he treats you and see how he likes it.

Answer 16

This is obviously not the man for you, if he wants you to dress and behave in a way that feels uncomfortable and unnatural to you.  Mind you, my husband does like it when I wear dresses, but it'snot something he would ever insist on.  he is very keen on s**y underwear though which I wear to please him.  But I could never imagine him saying he was 'embarrassed' by me wearing jeans etc, he just finds it s**y when I wear dresses, he likes something he can get his hand down or up easily.

This man is obviously very self-conscious and stereotypical in his thinking, and you would probably be better off without him.  I am sure there are plenty of men around who will accept you the way you are, not all men require women to be done up like a dog's dinner in order to find them attractive.  Although my husband does like me in dresses, he can't keep his hands off me whatever i am wearing,a nd any man worth having would feel the same way about you.

if this bloke of yours had a craving for a 'girly' type of woman, then he should have gone after one in the first place, rather than expecting you to completely change yourself for him.  he is being highly unreasonable.  tell him you can't be the kind of person he wants you to be, and he would be better off with someone else.

"This above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." - 'Hamlet' - William Shakespeare.

Answer 17

Time to wave "bye-bye" to him!

"Bye-bye!"

Answer 18

Yes your are right for being upset. He knew who you were when he got with you. Significant others should love you for who you are. Your not a piece of clay they can manipulate!

Answer 19

When I was 24 my girlfriend demanded that I dress more "age-appropriate." I accommodated her and felt good about it. If you're confrontational about considering your loved one's suggestions, perhaps you're not ready for a serious relationship.

Answer 20

Well if he is your "soon to be ex" who cares?

Answer 21

Good for you! No one should get into a relationship hoping to completely change the person's personality.