My sis-in-law has 3 kids from 2 guys. we have a 2 family home. i live upstairs w/ my 2 kids ages 1 &?

Question

4 & my husband. My sis-in-law kids dads live in the same town as us. She works nites and leaves at 5pm and is home @ 7 am. at least once a week she will ask me to watch 1 of her kids during that time. i am exhausted and stressed from dealing with my own kids but she always guilts me by saying i am her last resort. i am sick of being asked to watch her kid even though the dads live close by. she has a mom and sister who can help her as well but they hardly do. what can i do?

Answer 1

Be honest with her and just say it's too much.  However, look at her situation.  The dad sounds like a dead-beat, so I don't understand how you would never consider him.   As for her mom and sister, who knows what the reasons are for them not being able to watch the children.  However, don't say anything about that.  It's not your place to suggest someone else babysit when you don't know that person's situation.  Maybe her mom just can't do it?  That's not your business to comment on.

You are doing a really nice thing here.  How about setting up a schedule with her.  Let her know you'll help her out, but that you need to know and have a set schedule.  Perhaps you can babysit on one specific evening a week and that's it.    If it's scheduled, it might not feel like such a burden.   Plus, your kids probably like playing with their cousin, so think about the benefits there.

Just talk to her and work something out.  You are living in the same house and you need to be polite about this.  It's not worth starting world war III over, but you do need to address it.