My sis is prego. and still getting abused?

Question

My sister is almost 20 years old and lives with her abusive bf. All of the family and friends have tried to talk her out of the situation, but she won't listen....she still loves him. Now she's pregnant. She's fighting with him and stayed at my parents last night, she's coming over to my house today and i was wondering if anyone had some advice on how to talk her into staying away from this ******. My mom raised us on Lifetime movies so we know we don't have to put up with it. I've tried pulling every card out on this but can't think of ANYTHING that will keep her away from it. Yes i've told her that CYS will take the baby if they suspect abuse and she won't get to see it. If anyone could help you'd be saving one life if not two.

Answer 1

tell her that being abused can take the life of her child and if she doesnt want to leave him because of her, then she should leave him for the sake of the baby. i myself have been abused and i know what its like. i know its hard to leave and i know that you may love the person but either he changes, for good (like my fiancee) or leave him.

she really needs to open her eyes and see that she doesnt deserve to be hit and neither does her baby. stress can cause a miscarriage and she may be at high risk.

i hope she opens her eyes and noticed that she needs to leave him.

good luckk!

Answer 2

tell her her baby will get taken into care if she doesnt leave him

*edit* why the thumbs down ?? it will !!

Answer 3

First, unfortunately, it's her choice.  You can't MAKE her do anything.

Second, abuse usually gets worse when the woman gets pregnant.

Third, abuse rarely stops with just the adults in the house...as in, rage shows no age discrimination.

Sorry if that's blunt and scary - but it's the facts.  She needs to take responsibility for herself AND her baby.  Guys like that CAN NOT be "fixed" and bringing a baby into that house will NOT change the guy for the better.  Ever hear of the horror stories about women who lost the baby because the bf kicked the $*!% out of her??  Or even worse - the pregnant gf just mysteriously disappears?  Yeah, the abusers are usually very self-centered and don't enjoy sharing the spotlight with anyone...no holds barred.

I love the song by Nickleback - Never Again

Answer 4

That is really rough. You can call a woman's shelter and ask for advice. Part of being abused is that he controls her. She might be scared to leave and she is probably convinced that she is in love with him. If you are ever around when he is being abusive then you can call the cops. Also if she comes to your house covered in bruises and she says that her boyfriend did it than you could call the cops then too. Good Luck! I hope that she is ok.

Answer 5

I was in a very similar situation, and until I was ready myself I didn't leave. I'm in the UK and now if the police are called about abuse they have to take action even if the victim doesn't want to press charges. I know it's a drastic step to take and she wouldn't thank you for it initially but it may be the only thing you can do for her. In the end she would thank you for it, even if it takes a while. If she doesn't at least you can know you've done the best you can for her. You can also contact social services, this can be anonymous, who would try to help her and put her in touch with some sort of womens advice service. The shock of social services may make her realise that she has to choose her bf or her baby, I know which one I'd choose every time. Good luck, I hope some of this helps and I wish the best for your sister.

Answer 6

It's time to let your sister know the bottom line. It's time to tell her that you'll help her out in any way you can, but it will only be for one more time...and that time will be the last time unless she leaves him. The more you and your parents allow her to come over whenever they fight, the more often the visits are going to be.

She knows you're going to be there and she depends on it. But there comes a time when you have to take a hard look at it and let her know there's a difference between helping her out and allowing her behavior.

My ex-husband used to pound the c**p out of me every Friday night. He'd get done work...go cash his check...then go to the bar for 6-8 hours. Then he'd come home...want a hot dinner...and couldn't understand why it wasn't on the table when he walked through the door. The last time I allowed him to hit me was when I was 5 months pregnant...he was in a drunken stupor at 2:30am...and he knocked me down 17 stairs.

Let her know that if she continues to allow his behavior to continue, she won't have to worry about CYS being involved...it will be the Police, the County Coroner and a Funeral Home.

Answer 7

When you know they are fighting just call the cops, seriously! They will come out for domestic violence. And well she will file a report, and he will more than likely get taken to jail. They will have a hearing and he will either remain in jail, or have to go through domestic abuse counseling.

I know about this, I went through it. That is the best way to go about getting the problem solved. Get to the point, have him put in jail, that is how people do learn their lessons. He has a domestic abuse problem, and people do end up dead over this stuff. It is very serious...........

Answer 8

Hello, jus keep talking to her there's no tellin what this crazy fool has told her her what he would do to er the baby or ur family if she leaves him. Please keep an eye on her and PRAY!

Answer 9

thats real sad bt if she dose not want to listen to you guys then hey she is GROWN she can make her own decisions

Answer 10

Its not that she doesn't want to leave its scared she is to leave. She doesn't want to raise a baby by herself. And if he is abusive I'm sure he has told her over and over things like "no one else will ever love you" "your ugly" "fat" etc.

I think its gonna take your family stepping and saying listen its either him or us. Show her they will give her a place to live, if he wants to see the baby later on it will be in a public place after he has got the help he NEEDS, with one of the family members there too! She is young to start with and is probably so scared its easier to stay then leave.

If you ever see a mark on your sister. Or she calls you upset and you hear him in the back round yelling or hitting her just call the police! Put him in jail where he can pick on some one his own size.

Answer 11

ima go on a limb.... maybe you should find a guy 2 act like your in an abusive relationship.... and see how she feels 2 see eher sister get beat up... and if she tells you why are u doing this and all that ...say 2 her well what makes us diff your in a relationship just like this whats the prob wit me... and maybe she wil realize that she is hurting herself and that she is setting a bad example for u... i dont kno if it will work but it poped into my head kind of like reverse psycology i dunno .. see the other answers...

Answer 12

i think you should like give her a good talk and also tell her that all  the stress could give her a misscarrige and that she dose not diserve  that  and if he loves her he wouldn't do that to her ..

Answer 13

Your sister is in a sad sitiutaion. But I dont feel sorry for her at all because she can get out before it gets so bad that she cant.