My sister had a miscarriage today.What can I say or do to help?

Question

She was about 10-11 weeks.She has had problems bleeding for the past day or so & was in er for a while yesterday before being put on bed rest.She started doing it again earlier today & went to the dr to find out that she did lose it.She is younger than I am (shes 19) and had already told everyone she knows that she was pregnant.I do not know how it feels but I imagine it is hard.I live in another state and cannot afford (unfortunately) to go be with her at this time.What can I do to help?

Answer 1

Tell her how sorry you are for the death of her baby. A lot of people say things like 'these things happen for a reason' or 'you can try again' but these things are not comforting to a mourning mother. To her, her baby died. Not an embryo. She was a mom and now she's not. It is devastating. Let her now you understand how painful this must be for her.  

Answer 2

There is nothing you can really do or say to take that pain away, but since you do live far away just calling to check on her every so often would be a nice thing.

Answer 3

I just went through this myself a few weeks ago.  It is a horrible thing to go through.  I didnt do a D&C and waitied it out.  There is really not much you will do or say that will comfort her.  The only thing you can do is let her know that you feel for her, and care about her.  Usually when a miscarriage happens there is nothing that could have been done to prevent it.  So just let her know it was nothing she did.

Answer 4

Send her a card telling her how sorry you are and that she can call you anytime she needs to! :( Also, give her a call and ask if she needs to talk... tell her you are there and keep in touch with her for the next couple of weeks...

I am SO SORRY for your sister. That is probably one of the worst things a mommy can go through. :(

Answer 5

just listen when you call her next and ask her how shes doing listen to her, i had a misscarrage at 18 and it is rough but having supports help, she might feel like she not fit to be a mother, or she might be concerned that she made a wrong decision and something she did hurt the pregnancy, its important to let her know that 15% of first time pregnancies end in a misscarrage. Its also important to let her know that if something was wrong with the child it might cause a misscarrage (i mean things parents cant help something with the plecentia or if the child detacted from the uterious) you can also have a misscarrage if her blood type and babies didnt work well together.  If she dosnt bring up the pregnancy then its best that you dont either and just keep to pleasentries, as time goes by she might end up mentioning things that dont sound very good coming from someone that recently had a misscarrage, ex "well at least its better the child died now then later on" dont get concerned about this or think shes being demonic but dont say anything like that to her.

Im truly sorry for your families loss but try to keep in mind the good things you guys are still here and you can all be strong for one another i hope the healing comes quickly god bless

im sure your sister will be a natural mother someday