My sister has always seemed to be the favorite no matter what she does. I'll admit there are a couple of ?

Question

traits that she has that I wish I had. She is very good at her job & her communication skills are excellent. She exudes confidence & wins peoples trust even though she has been known to lie & manipulate & somehow get away with it. Our mom is in her mid 60's & divorced. She hasn't worked in 15 yrs & doesn't have enough skills to make it on her own. My sister let her live with her family through my mom's divorce & now my mom takes care of the 6 & 10 year old & takes them to & from school. My sister is going through a divorce herself now & said she needs mom more than ever for the kids. Mom sees Ginger go to & from work in her suits to the corporate office of a commercial real estate company. Ginger works for an exec. & a sr. exec. She does computer work (& great computer skills) & shows real estate property. She does not have a real estate license. When my boyfriend asked her what she does for a living, she responded w/ a grandiose title. I think she's an exec admin. Now, I get to hear my mom tell me what an good & important job she has. Her exec she works for was about to get in trouble for something and Ginger joked w/ the sr. exec if she could go home. He let her. I told my mom that I was surprised & she told me that since I haven't been in the corporate world for 5 yrs that I don't know what goes on anymore. It amazes me b/c her house was up for foreclosure, but she kept telling mom it wasn't. It was on realtytrac under foreclosures! Somehow, she got out of it. Her 1st child was out of wedlock and she married her soon to be ex partly b/c she got pregnant. (I think they were getting married anyway. Please give me some advice & please don't be rude. Thank you!

Answer 1

Don't blame your sister for mistakes your mother makes.  It's not her fault that your mom treats her as the favorite.  You also don't want to get all up into their business like second-guessing what they say to each other.

It sounds like there are some things that you genuinely like and respect about your sister, so try to focus on those things.  Fight to not fall into the petty trap of jealousy.

Answer 2

What are you asking?  Are you venting?  That's what this sounds like.  Nothing wrong with that--you evidently feel your family relationship is unfair and perhaps your sister doesn't deserve your Mom's high regard.  From your perspective, you're justified.  Sadly, I have to ask, 'so what?'   If your Mom thought your sister was a loser, would you feel better?  

People say and do things to make themselves feel better.  Your sister makes claims about her accomplishments, your Mom makes claims about the achievements of her children, you haven't said anything about yourself.  You seem to have built your self-image around how your Mom and others see your sister instead of your own accomplishments and circumstances.

Do you see this concern about your sister and your Mom as being helpful to you as a person?  Is dwelling on this useful to you or not?  What about this situation drives you crazy?  

What advice are you looking for?  I wish there magic words I could say to you that would make how you feel go away, but only you can do that:  by letting this stuff go.

Answer 3

Huh?

Answer 4

Gotta live your life the way you feel is right.  Your sister will live her life the way she thinks its right.  When you mom tells you how wonderful your sister is say something like "You're right, she has a fabulous job" and then change the subject.

Answer 5

What is your point actually?  What is the real question here?