My sister in law hates me?

Question

I am an only child and was so excited to have a sister in law. But she doesnt like me - and I dont know why. She refused to be my bridesmaid, didnt go out to my bachellorette (sp?) party, and when she was in town (she lives in another country) she knew I planned her visit so that I would have NOTHING to do for 4 days and she didnt hang out with me, when I vistied my in-laws for the first time it took her 6 days to come over to meet me (and she lived a few blocks away), and other reasons i suspect this.... My husband says its not that she doesnt like me, its just that she has an "unfriendly mentality." Anyway, how do I fix this? I am flying overseas for 10 days for her wedding soon.

Answer 1

Maybe by just being at her wedding she will see that you mean her no harm and she might warm up to you. As we all know our wedding day makes us a different person, so maybe she will be in a good spirit.

Answer 2

dont worry , some people are obsessed. you too have the equal right to hate her. Dont let someone who hates you bother you.  

Answer 3

It sounds like you are trying very hard but she isnt. Maybe there is no fixing to figure out. You may want to chalk it up to a relationship that wont be close. I know it sucks because you want to be close but not all people are that way.

Dont try so hard for her acceptance or affection. Some people cant handle that and get pushed further. If you are going to mesh, it will have to happen at her rate and if she is wanting that. She may need her own space and you should give it to her. And if she ever does come around, give her what you wanted from her. Open arms. =) DOnt be bitter and dont get upset with her current behavior. Just sounds like your wants are not the same at this time.

Use the time you have away at her wedding as quality time with your husband. If she wants you to be apart of things, she will invite you. Dont expect it and be pleasantly surprised if she does.  

Answer 4

Be friendly and courteous and feel good about yourself for trying.  It is not you that has an issue here, it is your sister-in-law.  You can do nothing about this except hope in time she will get to realize that you are a very nice person and she is missing out by not letting you into her life.  It is unfortunate that you cannot have a close relationship with her since you are an only child.  Spend your time with other close family and friends and hopefully in time your sister in law will see the light.

Answer 5

All you can keep doing is being yourself and be friendly but don't count on being friends bc you'll be disappointed by the sounds of it. She's made her place pretty clear to me.

I was like you once, I don't have a good family and was soooo hoping to be a big happy family with my spouses, it didn't happen but I've gotten over it. Too me, it's their loss not mine

Answer 6

I have to be honest with you. On the one hand I want you to tell her to kick rocks. She doesn't seem very friendly and its unfortunate since you want to be. Are you going with your husband to her wedding? I wouldn't go if I could help it. People have to demand a certain level of respect. She is obviously demanding that people back off and leave her alone. If she doesn't want to be polite to you than let her keep doing it. Don't go out of your way to do anything for her. She has the chip on her shoulder. Friendships and relationships are two ways and if she can't reciprocate than you need to continue to be your polite self and just don't do anything special for her.  

Answer 7

Simply ask her what's wrong.  Maybe y'all can talk it out.

Answer 8

I'd take what your husband says to be true, since he knows her better than most would. She may simply be someone who isn't comfortable socializing and is thus awkward (distant) with people she doesn't know. Like mnduke said, stop trying so hard, not everyone has close relationships with their in-laws (for various reasons). The likelihood you'd have that type of relationship is small since she lives in another country anyway. Just be nice and try to get to know her a bit without making it your mission. Make yourself available to her during her wedding for last minute needs/help and I'm sure it will ingratiate you to her and make her more comfortable around you. Good luck and enjoy.

Answer 9

i hope  get  better

Answer 10

Stop trying so hard. Just be there and hopefully she will notice that you really are a good person. You can not control her thinking but you can control yours. Good Luck.