My sister-in-law is getting married in Sept...

Question

I'm one of five bridesmaids.

I want to help her get things together for her wedding, but I'm not sure how.

See...

I work 12hour days at a daycare. so by the time I get home I'm completely exhausted! Don't mention I'm pregnant so that just adds to my exhaustion.

I'm going to be late for her bridal shower because I can't get the day off of work (and I'm the only one that closes so I can't leave early) because of all the doctor's appoinments I've had for the pregnancy.

I just feel like a very crappy sister, and bridesmaid that I can't help her out more. I offered for her to bring some of her bubbles over so I can tie ribbons on them for her, but I'm not sure what else to do. Any ideas?

Thanks for all your help!

Answer 1

Don't feel bad, just be up front with your sister-in-law. You will be able to do PLENTY for her on the actual wedding day, I imagine.

Answer 2

You sounds like a very caring sister (in law).  I would suggest to talk to her.  Let her know how you feel and that you'd like to help out more.  Ask her what she needs help with.  I am sure she knows your situation and she knows that if you could do more you would.  So just do what you can I am sure she appreciates anything you do!  

Also what comes around goes around, you may not be able to help much now, but maybe once they are having kids you can do more.  After all she will need a baby shower eventually!

Answer 3

you know, as much as you would want to help her prepare for the wedding, you have a full plate!

if i were you, i'd ask her straight up what she needs.  that way, you're not stressing over the things you can do (when you yourself admit that you have limitations now).  she will appreciate your effort.  

Answer 4

Well, I would help her out as much as I can but don't try to hard. I know you're doing your best but there isn't really much you can do. You'll be more help when she has kids herself. Tell that your sorry you can't help out much but you'll be happy to help her when/if she has kids cause that seems to be what you enjoy.

Answer 5

Wow, Life's very busy for you!

You need to give at least one day out of the weekend to help with the wedding and the other for your family, after all the wedding's going to be over in a few months and your husband and son will understand.

Enjoy this time and don't see it as a burden, but a blessing that you can help her out!

Answer 6

invite her to go uot with you for ice cream so the atmosphere is casual. explain your situation and offer to be her creative consultant. give her ideas, look online for resources, let her rant to you on the phone about her nerves, all things you can do sitting down. you can be her touchstone, support pillar, maybe make phone calls for her, ect......see if you can arrange a weekly meeting. maybe meet her for ice creame for an hour one a week to discuss porgress. you don't have to be a gopher to be helpful.

Answer 7

I have a similar situation with a friend who is like a sister (we've been best friends for 22 years).  She assumed I was doing her shower because she spend her food stamps (I found this out later when I talked to our other best friend) on the food for my baby shower. I did the bridal shower for our other friend, but I wasn't working full time and I didn't have a child at the time.  I'm playing an instrumental piece at her wedding, and it's been a real struggle to find time to practice with the baby, and like you, on weekends, I prefer to spend time with my husband and my child.  I also don't agree with the wedding, but we won't go there.

You can only do what you can do.  Don't spread yourself too thin, or there will be more hard feelings than there would be if you do what you're comfortable doing.  

Answer 8

Do you know what a bridesmaid’s jobs are?  Let’s list them

Get a dress, show up to church/event venue and…that’s it!  You’re not a slave. You can feel as bad as you want, but as long as you can make it to the wedding, you’re doing the only thing you need to.

Answer 9

I'm sure that she understands.  You can call and check up on her to see how her planning is coming along.

Answer 10

I'm sure she knows that you are very busy and being pregnant at that.  I would offer to mail invitations, fix the bubble stuff, anything that you can do while you are at home .  I wouldn't go to the party just send a gift letting her know you wish you could be there.  I'm sure she will understand.