My sister-in-law is jealous that I have a baby...?

Question

She married my brother four years ago and he has been wanting a baby since then. He's in the Army and right before his most recent deployment which he's still on, she decided that she wanted a baby but that she wanted him to be there for the whole pregnancy. So, they're not pregnant yet. She's been doing everything she can to keep me from talking to him and she and I have been arguing about that. Today she sent me an email and said that I should take off the banner on my email (it's a counter that says how old my daughter is) because some women who can't have babies don't want to think about other people's babies and she doesn't care about Leyna. My brother is my daughter's godfather and if anything happens to us, we had picked him to raise her in our place. We've since changed our minds (mostly because of what she's been saying and doing lately). My question is, how can I handle this without pissing her off more? I don't want her to be jealous of my baby. She can have one. I support that. I just don't want her to be angry and hurt by me having a baby. Any ideas?

Answer 1

I would only suggest that you not give in to her demands about taking down the counter, etc.  and certainly do not let her restrict you from communicating with your brother.

Honestly, I would write her a letter and would outline some of what you have written here-that you want her and your brother to be an important part of your child's life butyou feel that is impossible because of her attitude towards your child.

I think she is being rather immature, and I would not worry about her feelings and woudl certainly not let her call the shots.

Answer 2

is your child already here, or are you pregnant now?

most likely she is just having meltdowns bc she wants to be pregnant so bad, although i think she is handling it  poorly...i certainly wouldn't remove your banner, and i might would try not emailing her, and then when she asks why, tell her that you did not want to remove your banner, nor offend her, so you thought it best not to communicate that way with her right now....btw; how did you get the banner on there to begin with? i would love to do that....if you don't mind, when you have time, could you email me and let me know where i can find out? hope all works out for you....and as they say 'kill her with kindness' as long as she is with your bro' bc you don't want to let her have any effect on you two's relationship, she's not worth it....

Answer 3

It's not your fault she's jealous, & what a b*tch for saying that! You didn't take off the banner did you? DON'T TAKE IT OFF

Juts ignore her

Answer 4

Kill her with kindness.  Stop communicating with her by email, and if she asks why you can sweetly remind her that your banner offends her.  

Also have a frank discussion with your brother about her interference with your relationship.  

Answer 5

Definitely don't take the banner off... jealous B****S like her need their a*s kicked... Just brush her off! forget about it .. she'll come around hopefully

Answer 6

Firstly, you have to realise that the longing to have a baby and not being able to have one (for whatever reason) is one of the strongest emotions a woman can feel. It makes you act irrationally and unfairly, but most women cannot help it. I am not sure what type of woman she is usually, but if you have always thought she was okay before this, then she probably is - she is just consumed with wanting something she can't have. That said, I am not excusing her actions. She needs to keep her feelings in check. While I agree that you need to think before you speak and maybe tone things relating to babies down a little, I do not think that you have to pretend your daughter doesn't exist.

I know you think she is behaving unfairly and I guess to a point she is, but you seriously have to put yourself in her shoes. Why not have a chat to her about it - let her explain why she feels so strongly? I know that if she sits down and tells you how hard it really is for her, that you will see things a little differently.

Answer 7

Why would you care if she is pissed or not? A part of me would p**s her off even more - but you need to think about your unborn baby - she needs as much love as possible from the people surrounding her and you. She is saying some very hurtful things e.g.  "she doesn't care about Leyna" - the baby can sense her hatred.   At this point i would severely limit all my communications with this woman - sister-in-law or not. There is no guarantee that she will be your sister-in-law after your brother returns from his tour. It is a horrible thing to say - most women are happy for other women's pregnancy, even if they have no children of their own. I am one of them. Bets of luck to you and your baby and your brother, too.  

Answer 8

For one, keep your ticker on. F%ck her is she's going to be all sensitive. Be happy for your child, it's not your brothers fault he has to get deployed. Besides if she really wants one, she can suck it up and go through the pregnancy without him. Sorry she just sounds very selfish and a b*tch. I bet if she got pregnant, she would expect your full support, unlike what she's giving you.