My sister-in-law lefted her kids to my husband and I.?

Question

My sister-in-law was a single mom to 3 kids and she died a week ago. We weren't very close to her because she was a drugy. We losted contact with her over 7 months ago and never heard anything from her or the kids. We found out that she died because of a drug overdose. Now the kids are staying with my husband and I and our 2 kids. I don't know why she gave them to us but I do know that they are ours know and I don't know how to handle them. The ages are 16, 11, and 4. The ages of my kids are 7 and 3. Here's the thing the 16 y/o is also into a little drugs and she is also 8 1/2 months pregnant. The 11 y/o is a depressed little boy and the 4 y/o has the worst potty mouth. I feel so horrible for these kids, there mom never cared for them and didn't teach them. Now it's up to me and my husband to help these kids, but it is so stressful. My kids say they don't like them and are kind of scared of them. The 16 y/o is due in 2 weeks with her baby boy. So I will have to take care of this baby.

Answer 1

god doesnt' give you more than you can handle.. all you can do is hang tight.  I'm sorry for the lose. but sounds to me that they are better off with you and your husband than with her if she was confused and mixed in drugs.

Answer 2

Call your local social services, there are plenty of resources out there to help you, your family and the kids for free.  Take advantage of these resources for the kids' sake.  It sounds like counseling is just the beginning of what these kids need.

Answer 3

What a hard situation!  

You will have to start from scratch and teach these kids the things they should have learned ages ago.  It will be hard, every single day, and if you need help, seek it out.  There are resources out there.  Try to do your best and help these kids feel worthy, the situation they came from was not good for them and I can only imagine they way they feel about themselves and the world.

Answer 4

well your doing a good deed just give them the best life possible set boundaries and rules and dont let up it is always hard when the dynamics of your house hold change but i am confident you can do it!     good luck

Answer 5

Your home has become a stressful environment for everyone. Not just for you and your children but for your neice and nephews as well. It is sad that their mother treated them as she did but it is now your responsibility to give them a better life. It is going to be hard but once they understand that all you want to do is give them the love and attention they deserve, they will calm down.

*Try going to family counseling and include everyone into it.

*Get the 16 year old off of drugs and make her get a part  time job to suppor the baby, while trying to get child support from the father.

*Teach the 4 year old, that those are 'bad and ugly' words and they aren't nice to say

*Try taking the younger kids on outings just for themselves one week and the next with the older children.