My sister in law wants an abortion?

Question

My sister in law wants an abortion at 6 wks. I have a six yr old daughter and have done every fertility treatment known to man and nothing has worked. She said before she would give us her baby if she ever got pregnant unplanned and now I dont know how to remind her of this, she already has two kids so this is nothing new how can I ask for this baby?

Answer 1

To all the puzzled PAPs & APs who are confused as to what entitlement means...

Exihiit A.

Answer 2

you can have a conversation with her and just give her the choice. you can say remember when we had the conversation and you mentioned if you had anymore kids unexpected you would give it to us..well now is the perfect time to have the baby and give it to us!

[hope i helpedd.]

Answer 3

Just talk to her in a good way and tell you would like to keep him or her until she get herself together

Answer 4

just mention it to her. All she can do is say no.

Answer 5

Frankly if she wants to terminate the pregnancy it really isn't any of your business.

Answer 6

You can try asking, but just because you have discussed it in the past doesn't mean she is obliged to give you a baby. Judging from the fact that shes taking about abortion, sounds like her mind is already made up

Answer 7

You shouldn't ask for her baby. Your infertility is not her responsibility and shouldn't be a factor in her choice of whether to continue an unwanted pregnancy or not.

Answer 8

Hey, we have the same dilemma . My sister-in-law feels its too much to have a sixth baby in the family and wants for an abortion but good thing her husband wants to keep the family intact. As for you, I guess it wouldn't harm if you just remind her if she still wants to adopt her child to you. Goodluck!!!

Answer 9

You could causually mention "You know, if you don't want to raise the baby, we would be glad to adopt it"

If she really wants an abortion tho, there isn't anything you can do. I hope she decides to have the baby. Good Luck

Answer 10

All you can do is ask. She may be waiting for you to ask her! She is not obligated to give her the baby. Good Luck!

Answer 11

If she wants a termination, you have no right whatsoever of "reminding" her that she said she would "give" you her baby.  

I think that a termination, at this stage in the pregnancy, is the right thing to do if she does not want to parent.  

I am sorry you are having trouble conceiving, but your SIL does not owe you this child, nor does anyone else with an unplanned pregnancy.

Just because you cannot have a child does not mean you have a right to adopt.  Fertile people are not here to provide you with a child.   I am sorry, but that is just the way it goes.

You should look into adopting from foster care, the children/babies in foster care are all ready here and need homes, granted you probably will wait a little longer in order to adopt, but it is the right thing to do.

Also, what the heck is wrong with people?  Where is it that an unplanned pregnancy is something that every single person in a family needs to talk about (I mean extended family...not just partners)?  How nosy can you get?  No one but the mother and father have a say in the decision to have a termination.  

This question/situation just angers me.

Answer 12

If you just want to put it out there you can just remind her by giving her the option of it like well instead of having an abortion, would you be willing to give the baby up for adoption or creep in the conversation.  But if she isn't willing to, you would have to respect that

Answer 13

Tell her NOT to have a abortion.

Just be like..

Do you remember when you told us that if you had any unplanned pregnancy;s you would let us have the baby..

We are willing to do that still...

Answer 14

she wants to abort the baby, which means she doesn't want the baby.

Answer 15

What do you mean how do you ask? that's like me coming to your house and asking for half of your liver. If she offered to be a serrogent mother for you that's one thing but to think you have a right to ask for this particular child is overly wrong.

Answer 16

You should support her decision and forget about your wants.  Its about whats best for her and not about how you could benefit from her circumstance. Wake up and stop being self centered.

Answer 17

You shouldn't ask for the baby.  It should be completely her decision and her move.  If she comes to you to talk about it, then fine.  But, I would never ask another human being to intentionally bond with a baby for months, just for my benefit.

If she has mentioned it to you in the past, but hasn't mentioned it now, when the situation has actually surfaced, chances are that after reality set in, she realizes she couldn't possibly do it.  Whatever her reason is, it's her choice to make, without pressure of any kind, from anyone.

Answer 18

Just because you have fertility problems is no reason for you to have to take someone else's child.

If your sister in law can't take care of it, better it not be born to know the pain of abandonment syndrome.

This is not about YOU.

Answer 19

Sick, sick sick.  Let her make her own decision.

Answer 20

You don't have the right to ask her to carry the pregnancy to term and then give you the child.  Its HER body and HER emotions that will be ravaged by it.  I'm sure she hasn't forgotten what she said, and I am sure she is/has been making HER OWN decision.

Answer 21

you can give her the option. You can tell her that if she feels more comfortable with abortion you will support her choice, but if she would like to consider adoption, you would like to be considered as a possible parent for her child. Anything she chooses, should be supported by you.