My sister is getting married after 16 yrs................??

Question

MMy sister is getting married after 16 yrs with the same guy. The first 11 yrs they were on again off again but the last 5 they have really gotten their stuff together. He fiance is atheist and she isnt really any religion in particular but does believe in God. My parents have talked her into getting a minister and doing a kind of religious based ceremony. I dont think this is right since her fieance doesnt believe that way. Do I say anything? do you think that hiim being married by a man of religion is wrong since he has no belief of God? If they wanted to couldnt the just get a justice of the peace or someone like that to come to the wedding site and marry them? I just want them to be happy..... but i think she should at least consider her fiances beliefs as well as our familys. Anyone think like me or am I just being stupid??

Answer 1

Umm just leave it up to them.  I would b/c they have their minds made up to do this so please just let them plan this whole thing out to avoid problems, but most importantly to keep the peace.

Just give them all the love and support!

Answer 2

Maybe it is a loving gift to his wife, your sister, to allow her her beliefs. and perhaps she has returned the love, and allows him his lack of beliefs.

Sure, if it is an issue, some officiant  somewhere could be found to leave God out of the ceremony. Maybe it is not an issue.

People deal with people of other faiths, atheists, wickens, all manner of things all the time. With a little love and understanding, it all works out.

If you are curious, just ask them how come.

Answer 3

I'm sure if her fiance was against it he would say something. As long as he doesn't mind (and I find that many people who don't believe in God don't care if someone of religion performs a ceremony...it seems only that if you believe in a DIFFERENT religion does there become a problem). Talk to your sister just to make she has asked her fiance how he feels

Answer 4

maybe since he loves her, he wants to do it for her. but you never know...so just ask what would like.

Answer 5

It's not your issue to bring up to them. It's their issue. They seem to both be okay with it. I will say, I can't see how the two of them will be happy not sharing a basic belief either in God or not in God. When they have children how will they be raised. Some red flags are waving.

Answer 6

I really don't think it's any of your business. You should just let them do what they want. It's their wedding, after all.

:)

Answer 7

I understand what you mean. I am not religious and my fiance is practically a minister himself. We agreed to have the wedding in his church (officiated by an ordained Presbyterian minister who we both know and like) but have it be a non-religious ceremony. This is fine with the church, the minister, my fiance and myself.

Talk to your sister about it and ask her if she's talked to her fiance about these issues. A simple, "How does _______ feel about the fact that you two are having a religious ceremony when he's atheist? Is that weird for him?" If she hasn't asked him, she'll remember that she should. And if there are issues that they've already discussed and worked through, then she'll set your mind at rest about his feelings on the matter.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

I have two friends who got married. One is protestant, one is atheist. They had a protestant wedding. In private, I asked why he would agree to a protestant wedding. He said because it was important her to be married in God's eyes. He said he doesn't believe in God, so it doesn't mean anything for him to be married in God's eyes. He said its like being married in the name of the Easter Bunny. He only cares that they are legally married. It was a compromise they made.

Honestly, its their business. I wouldn't say anything to her fiance. They are grown adults. If he is not alright with it, he can speak up. You do not need to speak for him. It doesn't matter what you think is right, it only matters what they have agreed upon.

Answer 10

It is entirely up to your sister and her fiance.  Make sure he knows that the family is planning a religious ceremony, but it's up to him to speak up if he'd prefer a civil one.  They could also do something like having a civil (justice of the peace) wedding in a chapel that allows it, or having an entirely civil wedding and incorporating your sister's religion into it.

But it's really their call.