My sister is horrible to our mother :(

Question

Okay, so I'm 28 and my sister is 15. Let me just start with that it goes way beyond the point of her being just a moody teenager. She is so mean! She gets mad over the dumbest things. My 8yr old daughter wanted to show my 1 year old son my sister's mickey mouse doll (let me remind you again that my sister is 15) and my sister yelled at her and said "no, its mine!". Can you believe that? It's like that way all the time! I just don't know what to do. She's always ignoring my mom's wishes, she's on the phone until like 3am, she leaves the house when my mom asks her not too. My mom has a heart condition so she can't yell at her like she would like to. My sister had leukemia when she was little and went into remission when she was 9 so I see why my mom's so easy on her, its cause she feels guilty. But my sister knows my mom has a heart condition and knows she can get over on her. I'm here visiting and I'm having a horrible time. Just the way she talks is so snotty. she has people calling here all hrs of the night which makes me mad cause it wakes my son up. I hate feeling resentment towards her but she's just so cold. She actually put me into tears the other night so I tried to get her to come out and talk to me, she saw i was crying and she goes "what? is it a crime to watch a movie?" she just didn't even care. I want to help my mom, please give me some advice. I could write more but I know I've written a novel already. I'm just so stressed out about this whole thing and my daughter is starting to get my sister's snotty attitude.

Answer 1

the only advise i can offer is to convince your mum to kick her out... not permanently... just so she gets a taste of the real world. otherwise try doing to her what she does to you and your family... see how she likes it?

Answer 2

Maybe there's another reason why your sister acts likes this towards your mom and others. I'm a 15-year-old teen girl and I know I'm disrespectful to my mom a lot, but it's not because I enjoy or don't care about hurting her.  It's really a combination of several things:

-I don't know how to share my feelings very well, and there are a lot of things I would rather tell her to shut up about than talk about. And, in a way, it hurts her less than hearing what I actually think because it might be that I blame her for marrying my dad or that I feel unwanted because she's never home and always working. It's just easier to be mean.

-My dad doesn't really treat us (mom, my younger sister, me) with much respect sometimes so I learn this behavior from him and my mom is the one person who will allow me to put her down like he does to me.

So...all I'm saying is that there may be other reasons why she puts down your mom so much, that you should consider, and try to have some compassion for her. It doesn't have to mean that she doesn't love your mom. Maybe she's despressed and lashing out...

Answer 3

Now I would not normally say this but smack her in the face!  She sounds SO evil.....her Mum has a heart condition and yet she does this bratty behaviour!

  

Answer 4

first just breath, i know that it might be frustrating not being able to get through to her but maybe she has something building up and is taking it out on the world. if your mom is sick maybe she is afraid of losing her and just doesn't know how to deal with it so she is angry all the time or maybe something else happened in the family that you don't know about. you should maybe try writing a letter to her explaining your concerns and just tell her you are sincerely worried about her and the way she has been coming off ...you could try talking to her with your mother as well and other family members so she knows you are serious or you could try offering her professional help or even with a school guidance counselor ..seems like there is something deeper than whats going on, on the surface!! Plus, she is at the age where they are all attitude so that doesn't help!!

Answer 5

i hate how nowadays in this country you cant beat your children, i constantly got the belt and i turned out great

Answer 6

bust her in the chops.  She needs her butt kicked for being an insensitive little creep.  i would take her on the side of the house when my mom wasn't looking and just jack her up.

Answer 7

very sad i must say. but your mother is a figure and does have a authority. she doesnt have to yell to follow through. this girl needs discipline. she is 15 and that will be very difficult. because this behaviour started at a younger age. perhaps you should step up. you are older, so in the name of your mother take action.  be her voice and her might. people will tell you its just a phase when it shouldnt. send her off somewhere. perhaps a bootcamp. something along those lines . its time to give her a hard slap on the face. she might end up taking your mothers life in all her rage. this is serious stuff. take action and quickly.

Answer 8

Either you are your mom needs to pull that girl over the knee, hairbrush in hand and see that she doesnt sit for a week!!

You can be a crazy teen but you got to respect your mother and you cant be mean to your little niece and nephew.

Its not as crazy or unusual as you may think.

Answer 9

shes wanting attention really bad no matter what it takes lol typical teenager lol some one needs to slap her lol jk that's prolly how u feel sometimes lol right lol she needs counselling or tell ur mom to step up

take privillages away treat her the way she treats you . shes probably enjoying the attention right now she needs help....

Answer 10

if you are only visiting, make your visit short, take your kids away from your sister, and if you can , take your mother with you for some time ,and leave your sister alone . stop paying for her phone, or cut the house phone, no phone= no phone calls, if she goes out when she is told not to, then locked the doors so she can come in , let her taste time with out a mother and see if that makes her react, if she is mean, ignore her,don't give in to her if she watchess tv, late you can remove one of the fuses of the electric box or shut down the breaker, no electricity, no tv, don't say anything just do re mind  her of her mothers heart conditions and tell her she will be responsible for her mothers death if she doesn't stop been a brat,  she need to get some kind therapy,  get help now that she is still a minor, send her to job corp, to get educated, good luck. and if  she pisses you off bit her ***.  be care ful you never know she could be using drugs, that behavior is not normal. but your mother needs to be more in control, even if she give you the  right to dicipline her,"" job cops'''' send her away, she is a minor,