My sister is pregnant and will ruin my plans, what to do?

Question

I just found out that my sister, who has been married all of 3 weeks is pregnant. She will be due in early May 2009 and my boyfriend and I were planning on getting married in early June 2009....should I change the wedding date for her or keep things as they are? The date I picked works best for my boyfriend and I and it won't interfere with any of the other people we plan on asking to be in the wedding....should I put my life on hold for her, because she got pregnant?

Answer 1

I don't see why you would have to change your plans at all. Unless there's complications with her pregnancy, it will be unlikely that she will be giving  birth on your wedding day. If you're really worried, move the date forward a few weeks if you can, but I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 2

I don't see why your sister being pregnant ruins you wedding plans.  Have your wedding when you want it and you sister will come with the baby.  Whats the problem?

Answer 3

I can't believe the answers you got....I don't think that you are spoiled, or a bridezilla. However you can still have YOUR day, yes a lot of people will be focused on her and the baby which should be born by the time that you have your wedding, (he/she should not be in attendance at maybe a few days to weeks old) but when it comes to the actually wedding day. I'm sure that you will be the center of attention, like you should be.  If you already have a day that works for everyone in the wedding it would be improper to change it now, you might not be able to have everyone that you want in it.  Also changing the date would mean reprinting invites or announcements and changing the venue with all those costs. It's not worth it, you need to think about what is best for everyone involved. I think that you are, but need reassurance. You can also talk to your sister about how you feel. Tell her that you are happy for her and look forward to being an aunt, but she needs to be there for you and remember that it wasn't long ago she got married and had her special day, and you would love it if she could help make your day as special, by not focusing conversations on her new baby, but her loving sister. Good luck.

Answer 4

How dare your married sister have a life of her own, and create a life with her husband so soon after marriage? She really should have consulted you about possible conception. Giving birth a month before your wedding, the nerve!

How exactly is your sister giving birth in May going to "ruin your plans" in June?  

Answer 5

The only person in this situation who can ruin your plans is you. You are getting selfishly worked up over nothing.

Realistically, unless your sister has major complications due to pregnancy she should be more than fine by the date you picked.

Answer 6

Keep the date.  Your sister will have had the baby already.  It'll be fine!

Oh and by the way...

Be happy for your sister and don't make her feel like you have to change anything because of her.  You don't.  So get over it!!

Answer 7

Just plan the wedding for what works best for you.  I'm sure your sister can find a way to attend the wedding since her baby is due at the beginning of May.  I would be happy for my sister and I know she'd be happy for me...  

Answer 8

Its a month later, what would her having a baby change anything besides her dress size?

Answer 9

1. Your selfish for saying "my sister is pregnant and will ruin my plans"

#2. She's having the baby at the beginning of May

#3. My best friend got married in September of last year and she was my matron of honor in my wedding in april..they'd been trying for a baby and I was HOPING she'd be pregnant at my wedding..turns out she was a week along!  

Answer 10

Absolutely not! That won't ruin your plans at all, it will make your wedding day even merrier! I don't see why someone wouldn't come to your wedding because your sister had a baby the month before.  

Answer 11

"what to do?" how about you chill out?  Seriously it shouldn't interfere and you should think about how lucky you are to become an aunt and how happy you are for your sister that she's becoming a new mom.

Answer 12

My sister married in a civil ceremony in February '08.

She had a traditional ceremony with family in May '08.

She announced she was 8 weeks pregnant at her reception.

She found out she was having twins 2 weeks later.

Which threw a bit of a wrench into my wedding plans for October '08.

But only because I'm conflicted between needing to focus on my planning and wanting to be a good auntie and run all the errands my mother sends me on.  

My sister will be 30 weeks pregnant and huge at my wedding.  She's my matron of honor.  I can't ask her for help with much of anything, because she's busy getting ready to be a mommy.  And that's a little disappointing - if I could have my sister more active in my wedding planning, that would be great.  And I wish I could visit her more often to help her get ready for the arrival of my nieces.  But what can you do?

When I found out my sister was pregnant, my mom tried to say that it was my turn to get married and it was about me (not about my sister's pregnancy).  I told my mom, it's about my sister too - these are her first children - my parents' first grandchildren.  It's a special time for her too!  

In a perfect world, neither of us would be 'sharing' this time.  She would have all the focus on her and her babies (which is more or less what's happening anyway - hehe).  And I would get all the help I need with my wedding.  But it is what it is, and there are worse things than having two wonderful events so close together.

Your sister's pregnancy won't ruin a thing.  Sure - maybe she won't be getting drunk with you at your bachelorette party, but how important is that?  Get excited about becoming an aunt!  And then a wife!  And stop worrying about those two joyous events happening so soon after one another.

Answer 13

What is your major malfunction? I fail to see how her pregnancy ruins your wedding plans. If anything, it will be happier +1 little one! No one asked you to put your life on hold. Now dont ask your sister to put hers on hold.

Sheesh. Some people.

Answer 14

I am so glad you are not my sister. You are one of the most s****. people I have ever heard about. Scary...

Bringing a child into this world is such a beautiful thing.

The dates are a month apart, what is your issue?

Stop being so SELFISH and just roll with the flow, this wedding WILL NOT go as planned (they never ever do). Just roll with the punches.  

Answer 15

Ok...wow...at first I totally though this was a joke, but holy c**p!  she is due in May and your not getting married until June so whats the freakin problem here?  Why do you need to put your life on hold because she is having a baby? nobody asked you to and your just plain being rediculous.  She is your sister....you should be happy for her that she is having a baby.  What, did you think the whole year of 2009 should be reserved for your wedding and nobody else can have some kind of happiness.  Get over yourself!  Try thinking about someone other then yourself for a change.

Answer 16

No you don't need to put it off.

If she's a bridesmaid she will still be able to a month after her baby is born, as long as someone can take care of the baby that day (whether her husband comes, or your parents do...)

And if she isn't a bridesmaid, she will still be able to come anyways.

Just don't go around saying "my sister is pregnant and will ruin my plans"  it sounds reaaaaally bad.  Until I read the question I thought you were a bridezilla, I was expecting you to say something along the lines of "I don't want her to be in my wedding while she's pregnant because all the other girls are a size 6...:

Answer 17

You didn't give any real reasons on why you are thinkin of switching.

People (girls) get pregnant all the time. Not a big deal that she is going to have a baby with in a month or two of your wedding.

Unless you want her to be in the wedding, then just keep her on a "if she is able to" note incase she is healing from labor or has to stay home with new baby.

The worst she can do is say she can't come.

I don't see why her having a baby is ruining your plans.

Answer 18

Whoa! Bridezilla much? Instead of being happy for your sister and her husband, and excited at the prospect of a niece or nephew, you are thinking only of yourself. Babies are miracles, not problems. There are maternity bridesmaids' dresses out there, if she feels that she can handle the responsibilities of being an attendant with a newborn to care for. If not she could always do a reading.

Do yourself, and your fiance', a favor and learn to think of others, and grow up alot before marrying next year.

Answer 19

You don't have to jump through hoops for her, she should be able to figure something out. However, you don't want to be bitter about this. Don't blame your sister for ruining your plans, she's having a baby, not burning down the reception site. If its going to turn into something you re upset at your sister over for "ruining" your wedding or if you just want to be nice and make things easier on someone close to you, change the date. Otherwise, try and suck it up and remember that even though this day is important for you, the birth of her first child is an important day for her and the rest of your family.

Answer 20

You obviously have some issues with your sister that you should really work out. I doubt that her master plan was to get  pregnant so that she could ruin your wedding. I don't think your wedding would be overshadowed by your sister's new baby, they are both really big events in someones life. If her due date and your wedding date are more than two weeks apart than you should be good (sometimes pregnancies can run a little longer than expected). Also, you should sit down with your sister and talk about how you feel so that you can try to have a better relationship.

Answer 21

I've been a bride for almost 8 years, and I'm the proud mom of a 5 y/o. I would just go ahead and plan your wedding for june since her baby is due in may. Two celebrations in one fell swoop. But I do think that you could involve your sister in your special day, and vice versa. Just plan a special day for your family, friends and the man that you love.

good luck. :)  

Answer 22

I truly don't see how your sister getting married will ruin your plans.  You can still get married even if your sister is pregnant and due the month before.  Instead of being happy for her, you seem to be a bit resentful that maybe she stole the spotlight away from you which isn't cool.

Answer 23

Your mother must be so proud to have raised such a little brat like yourself. I highly suggest that you don't waste any money on your nuptials until you grow up a bit. I am sure your sister didn't plan on getting pregnant so soon into being married, even being a joyous occasion, it still would stress the h**l out of many newly married couples. You should be ashamed of your attitude and behavior.

Edit

Neither my sister or I can have children naturally, due to a genetic condition ( and both of us refuse to do IVF and plan on adopting). You should be blessed that something like this is happening, instead of looking at it as a curse. I would be ecstatic if my sister turned up pregnant, regardless if she was due on my wedding date, right before or after.

Answer 24

What a blessing that two such wonderful things are happening for you next year.

Her pregnancy has nothing to do with your wedding - having a baby is a private activity, marriage is a public one. Your guests could care less. Keep your original date if you want. Just don't expect her to be your maid of honor or anything when she's got an infant.

Answer 25

I'm in the same situation as you.

My sister is due Nov 3rd with number 4 and our wedding date is Nov 29th.

Mind you I'm the oldest and last to get married, she is the youngest and has been married a few years.

I thought about changing my date too, but figured s***w that this is my day. Plus she got pregnant after we announced our date.

You shouldn't change the date of your wedding. It's to hard to get everything to fall into place.

I'm sure she will have more babies but you only get married once.