My sister refuses to eat....

Question

well shes in a lot of pain. we both lost our very close cousin. u see she was raped and got pregnant. her parents were really angry with her and said that she was a w***e. they wouldnt let her set it up for odoption because they say she opened her legs so she has to deal w/ the consequences. i thought that was horrible. my sis told her that she and her g/f would help her financially cuz her g/f has a well paying career. and me and my sis would take care of the baby so she could go to school. it was going ok until i dunno she starting feeling sick. she never went to the doc.(she told us until it was too late) she had a misscarriage and died. she was barely 13

ever since my sis has been acting strange. she never looks happy. she eats like a sanwich a day and thats it. she doesnt wanna talk about it. she says she doesnt care about wat happened. but i know she does.wat can i do?

Answer 1

The real key is to not talk about it and to maybe spend the day at an adventure park or go somewhere bowling,movies,etc.

Sorry for the lost may her RIP and good luck

Answer 2

Provide reassurance: Assure her that she did all that was possible (or whatever else you know to be true and positive). Reassure her that what she is feeling—sadness, anger, guilt, or some other emotion—may not be at all uncommon.

Be patient and understanding: Do not be too surprised by what she  may say at first. Remember, she may be feeling angry and guilty. If emotional outbursts are directed at you, it will take insight and patience on your part not to respond with irritation. “Clothe yourselves with the tender affections of compassion, kindness, lowliness of mind, mildness, and long-suffering,” recommends the Bible.—Colossians 3:12, 13.

I know it's your sister but why not send her a letter or card of encouragement, it  may be composed “in few words,” but it should give of your heart. (Hebrews 13:22) It can say that you care and that you share a special memory about the deceased, or it can show how your life was touched by the person who died.

Pray her Do not underestimate the value of your prayers with and for your sister. The Bible says: “A righteous man’s supplication . . . has much force.” (James 5:16) For example, hearing you pray in her behalf can help her with negative feelings such as guilt.—Compare James 5:13-15.

Resist the tendency to tell her how she should feel. And do not assume that you have to hide your feelings in order to protect hers. Instead, “weep with people who weep,” recommends the Bible.—Romans 12:15.

Do not necessarily avoid mentioning your cousin .

So do not necessarily change the subject when the her  name is mentioned. Ask the her whether she needs to talk about her cousin. (Compare Job 1:18, 19 and 10:1.) Some bereaved persons appreciate hearing others tell of the special qualities that endeared the departed one to them.—Compare Acts 9:36-39.

It may be better not to say, ‘I know how you feel’: Do you really?

Helping a your sister will call for compassion, discernment, and much love on your part. Do not wait for the her  to come to you. Do not simply say, “If there’s anything I can do . . .” Find that “anything” yourself, and then take the appropriate initiative. It may save her life.

She may think it happened because of something she could have done.

That is hard to live with.  Don't lose her too.

Answer 3

Your parents need to be made aware of the fact that she is not eating. A death can set off anorexia in some people. This is a traumatic event that made her feel helpless and out of control. She doesn't eat because it is the one thing she feels she can be in control of. (This is the subconscious reason)   She needs to see a counselor that deals with anorexia and can help her deal with the death of your cousin.

If Anorexia is left untreated, she might eventually die from it. The best outcomes for anorexics are the ones who have it treated early and who's family members don't keep it a secret. The more people watching to make sure she eats, the better it will be for her in the long run.

Answer 4

It's rape. She had no choice. And it's not your parents decision, it's your sister's. You need to tell your parents that.

Answer 5

all u can do is do what u been doing.  is trying to cheer her up. i cant believe that happened to that girl that is really sad. and tramatic. ur sister is really sad about it. and right now im sure its still really fresh in her mind.  but for u to step up and try and cook for her and do what ur doing is really sweet.  ur doing a good job dont talk to her about it right now.  just try and offer her food. cuz she does need to eat.  with in time she'll get better. it has to rain really hard before it starts to get better. but the great thing is it doesnt rain forever. i wish the best for u and ur sister stay strong for her. and thank you for being such a great brother. good luck!

Answer 6

How horrible and sorry for your loss.

You can just be there for your sister when she needs you. She is grieving and it will take time to heal. Thirteen is a young age and to have to die in that manner is terrible. Maybe you could bring her some of her favorite foods and just set with her for awhile.