My sister wants a baby so badly?????

Question

Okay here's the story. My sisiter got married 2 years ago. They never discussed babies or children and thought that it would happen when it happened. All her husband, AJ said was that he had high estrogen levels and had to take testosterone. Rachel never thought anything of it. Well, his parents have recently told her when she brought up that she thought they wer eready to ahve kids that she didn't know why Rachel would even bring it up since it wasn't a possibility. My sister was very confused. AJ's mom proceeded to tell her that when AJ was born, because of the problems with his older siblings, genetic testing was done and it was discovered that he had Kline-Felters syndrome. This is where a man has an extra X chromosome. SO his 23rd chromosome is XXY. instead of XY. This causes a man to be very tall, high chance of osteoporosis, high estrogen levels and, in many cases infertility.

My sister has been very upset and is beside herself. She doesn't know why her husband would withhold such important information from her. She is 27 years old this year and really wants children. They have enough money to have a baby, but they are not in the situation to be able to adopt. Do you think something like this warrants a divorce? Do you think it was wrong for him to not tell her? Has anyone ever heard of a man having this and still having children? I hate to see her so depressed. And I feel so bad when I tell her I am pregnant. I just had a baby in March and am due to give birth again next April. It just makes her feel so bad. What can I say to her to make her feel better?

Answer 1

I understand how you feel for your sister but she went into a marriage without discussing having children.  She did not open up the conversation to him so that may be why he did not mention it. I am sure it is difficult for him to discuss, possibly making him feel less of a man.  It could be grounds for divorce but that is her decision.  I have never heard of a man being able to have children with this disease a sperm count would be warranted.  If there are active sperm then they can always do IVF to increase their chances, but I am sure they would want to do some form of genetic testing on the sperm and that may cost more than they are willing to spend.   If they want to stay together a sperm donation is an option as well.  They both need to sit down together and talk.  In regards to you feeling guilty I can relate.  I felt the same every time I told my sister-n-law I was pregnant.  They tried for many, many years to have children and were unable to.  They still live a rich and full life without them.  Children are a great bonus in life but they are not the only thing that comes from a loving marriage.  Good luck to your sister.  

Answer 2

It was very wrong of this man not to tell your sister. Since his parents knew, he obviously did, too, and it was NOT his prerogative to deprive her of this info and children. What is his excuse? This definitely warrants divorce; he was duplicitous. I really feel for your sister.

Answer 3

i dont think this is grounds for a divorce. she married him not thinking about babies so she must love him. I think they should go to the doctors together and get some fertility tests done so they know exactly what is going on. its not definately confirmed that  he is infertile. i can understand why she is feeling down tho and with you getting pregnant very easy its frustratiung for us who want so badly what you have got. I would try not to talk about your new baby around her. nothing like rubbing salt into the wound.

good luck with your pregnancy