My sister yells at my daughter. How can I make her stop?

Question

I have a 19 year old sister who lives with my parents. When my children and I are visiting my parents, my sister often yells at my 6 year old daughter. She doesn't do it for any real reason. My daughter's not misbehaving when it happens. Sometimes it will be because my sister is watching something on TV that my daughter's not allowed to watch, and my daughter will ask her to change the channel because she can't watch shows with nudity or bad language. My sister responds by yelling at my daughter to quit guilt-tripping her and being mean. It makes my daughter feel really bad. She will spend days asking me if she's a bad person because her aunt yells at her. The last time it happened, she got so upset that she got sick to her stomach. My sister never yells at my 3 year old, though, just my older daughter.

My parents aren't bothered by the situation. They say that my sister has the right to yell because she lives in their house. We're currently dealing with the situation by avoiding my parents' house. I'd rather find a better solution, though, because I think it's important for my kids to have a good relationship with their grandparents. It's unlikely that my sister will ever move out of my parents' house, so staying away until she moves out isn't a good solution either.

How would you handle this situation?

Answer 1

your sister is a teenager...shes probably going through her bitchy stage in her life.....you don't know how your sister feels or what she might be going through...ya she could be a little more nice...but just because you come over with your daughter doesn't mean she has to automatically put the channel on barny...i mean if she did she would be really nice and considerate ...but not everyone is like this...and shes not obligated to do it...nor is she obligated to treat your children like gold....I have a nephew and i treat him good...but he is only 1 and half years old...LOL by the time hes 6 if he is a brat ...im not going to hold my tongue...

not to mention if your sister is only 19 now...and your oldest daughter is like 6-7...that means your sister was only like 12-13 when you started having kids...did it ever cross your mind that maybe your sister had alot of her childhood attention taken away from her???????

Answer 2

As a parent, your first duty is to protect your child from your sibling's rantings! Your little girl is not old enough to fight her own battles yet and depends on you to do it for her. If your sister is so hateful towards your child that you are spending days trying to remove her negative vibes from your child, then YES you need to keep away from your parents home. Life is tough enough without a family member killing the self esteem of a vulnerable little 6 year old. If your parents want a relationship with your children, they can come visit you at your home. It's asinine to say that your sister has the right to yell at your child because it's her house. You should explain to your parents that it bothers you to hear your sister yell at your child and to avoid further conflict, you are just going to let them come visit you in your home. If this doesn't work, you can always visit with your parents in the community somewhere. You don't have to choose between allowing your child's feelings to be hurt, and her having a relationship with your parents.

Answer 3

punch her in the face and run away.......and when shes gone f**t on her pillow so when she goes to sleep u can look at her and think she is laying on your farts

Answer 4

I would tell her to stop. And if she does it for no reason you should ask her what does she have against your daughter that would cause her to continue this uncalled for behavior.

Answer 5

Be a woman and stand up for your child! Tell her you do not under any circumstances wan't her to correct your child, and if she feels the need to beat up on your daughter than you may just feel the need to beat up on her. I am not joking, my sister and her boyfriend do that to my DOG yes, my animal, and after the 3rd or so time, I had had enough and I told them where I stood. If your sister doesen't accept your rules, then you need to either handle the situation yourself, and you know what I mean by that, or explain to your parents that they will have to come to your house to visit their grandchildren because your not dealing with your sisters tormentation of your daughter. It's your DUTY as the child's mother to protect her. She can suffer seriously psychological trauma from this if it continues, especially with what you have stated above about her poor self worth at the hands of your sister and it will be your fault if you don't protect her from this. The longer this is prolonged, the worse her self confidence and her self esteem will be and she no dount will continue to feel, or will end up feeling abandoned by you and grandparents- her protecters.

But on the flip side, you cannot expect your sister to change something she is watching, as it is where she is living and is her poragative to watch Jerry Springer. That is your job to keep your daughter away from that.

I will also mention that if your daughter puts girl clothes on boy dolls, it doesen't mean anything so don't freak, it's all exploration and expiramentation and doesen't mean anything, and if any of your children are anything other than a straight male or female, that doesen't mean anything either. It's not a mental disorder or learned from Jerry Springer, ect. It's all a natural process in the science of life.

Answer 6

It's better to change house. You may live in an apartment or condo if you can't really afford to buy a house. Ask your husband to save up. You should also do the same. You tell your sister that she doesn't have to worry because someday, you will transfer to a better place with better people. Maybe, she doesn't like your older daughter. It's really like that. Don't worry, God will always find a way for you and your family to be happy and agree with each other's decision.

Answer 7

Just tell your sister straight out how you feel about how she is yelling at your kids that isnt right. She isn't there mother so she has no right yelling at them like that.

good luck

Answer 8

politely explain YOU are the parent..its YOU that will admonish your child IF she is misbehaving. Explain to your sis that ya love her, but you dont want her yelling at YOUR kid. End of story!!

If she takes it really badly..put your foot down and tell her she cant see her neice, and explain to your parents you dont want your sis yelling at your daughter, its best of she didnt go to their place. Ya folks can come visit you :)

Answer 9

Been through something similar...

This is your sister you're talking about.. it's your family, so you have obvious reason to be open about it with her and tell her straight up to never talk to your child that way.

Try to avoid drama, but firmly stand your ground when it comes to the yelling.

Maybe there's a deeper reason but whether that's excusable or not, it should stop.

Answer 10

You can have your parents come over, or you can go and pick them up and then go somewhere together.  Avoid your sister until she comes to her senses.  There must be something wrong with her, to be 19 and sitting at home watching movies on TV while your children are there and it's inappropriate material.  Doesn't she have a TV in her own room?  Maybe talk to your parents and get her one, so when you visit, your sister can be in her room.  I would also talk to your parents about what your sister's plans are, I mean, she should be in college or working.  Talk to your sister too and let her know how badly she's hurting your daughter, and that your sister should grow up to the be the adult she is and treat her niece a lot better.  Remind her that one day she too will have children.  Try to help your sister find a job and an apartment, even if it's just a studio.  Talk to your parents that your sister needs to get a life and grow up and it's not right how she's talking to your daughter.  Then just avoid going over there, or like I mentioned, either go get your parents and do something together, have your parents come over (but not your sister).  Tell your parents that your sister should not be allowed to run THEIR house.  Just because your sister lives there doesn't give her the right to do what she is doing.  Hope you get to work something out.  And I hope your sister opens her eyes and grows up.  

Answer 11

Your parent's have a point in that your sister still lives there.  And you've recognized that you don't expect her to change the channel all the time.  So it seems that the easiest way to deal with this would be to talk to your sister and ask her not to yell at your daughter but rather ask her to leave the room.  AND then train your daughter to go to another room when something she knows is inappropriate is on TV.

Answer 12

Then tell them that until her attitude changes, the only time that your parents are allowed to see them is at your house and/or outside the house and your sister is not to get anywhere near your daughters until she changes.

Answer 13

umm.. well you should have done this a long time ago but talk to your sister!

Answer 14

curse the stupid ********* out.