My sisters husband is forcing her to move to Dubai...

Question

I grew up in a family of 1 brother and 2 sisters. From as early as I can remember I was always super close to one of my sisters. When all of my siblings moved out, I being the youngest was left alone here with my parents who went through a very very bitter divorce. We went from being the happiest family to the darkest one. It came to me pretty much raising myself from 15 on. Neither one of my parents wouldn't ask about my life because they were to involved with hating one another, I clung to my sister even more. In my life, anytime I've ever been close to someone, they always leave. My one and only best friend recently died after high school. She was the only real friend I had... My other sister left to join the Navy, and my brother never really liked me to begin with. Now, the sister I've always been close to is married to some jerk who's hit her before, pulled her hair out, and disrespected her right in front of me. I'm her little brother.. I'm always protective of her. Now, he wants to move her to Dubai, and she doesn't want to go, but won't tell him. But he wouldn't care even if she did. He doesn't even have a college degree so I'm not sure what he thinks he'll accomplish there. I'm having a really hard time even talking to her because my defenses are on high alert. I don't want her to leave me... I don't want to be hurt with her leaving me. I love my nephews so much, and I love her so much. I've already told her the day she leaves her will be the last day I speak to her. It'd be way to hard for me to continue talking to her after that.. I'm so torn.. and I'm sitting here balling thinking about it... Someone please give me some advise on what to do... I know it's not really fair of me in a way but she's the only best friend I have left..

Answer 1

This is something your sister must decide for herself and really all you can do is be supportive of her choices.From what you have said her husband is abusive towards her.I think I would be concerned what rights your sister may have in a country which may have different laws regarding the children.If your sister moves to Dubai and later should decide to divorce her husband will sh be able to leave Dubai with her children? I have read somewhere along the way that in some cultures the man assumes "control" of the children and the mother has no rights concerning the children.So what I'm saying is that in some cultures the ex wife could leave the country but the  children would remain with their faher.I am not sure if this is the case in Dubai but it might be something your sister should find out before leaving the States .As her brother , this whole situation will be an emotional rollercoaster but it must be even worse for your sister.

Answer 2

Well hun, you really need to talk about this with her. It may accomplish nothing but on the flip side it may accomplish everything. Maybe she hasn't said anything to her husband because she is scared of him and because she thinks that she has nothing left here for her. So maybe if you talk to her and show your love and concern for her, her safety and the safety of her sons it may give her the courage and desire she needs to stay here in the states.

She is in an abusive situation from the sound of what you are saying, so it's going to be difficult for her to make that decision anyway.

Just talk to her and try very hard to accept what she decided to do. Because even though her husband does not have a degree he can still find very profitable work doing contract labor. However, it is still a very dangerous place to live for nearly everybody.

Good luck

Answer 3

I am sorry you are in this state. Your sister is a big girl capable of getting a divorce just as your parents did if she wants to. She could start by telling her husband what she told you( that she doesnt want to go) But she isnt doing that. What you need to realize is that people can only help themselves. You are being used as a listening and venting board. She has no care for your own feelings so lighten up. You do not know the entire story I bet. Anyway, why would you say it would be the last time you speak to her? THAT is stubborn and stupid. Dubai is a very cool place you could visit and have a blast there. They have indoor skiiing and beaches and it would be a wonderful visit for you. You could do that yearly. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, turn your thoughts about it into one of opportunity .  It is up to you to replace her with a new friend here and you need to focus on being the best you can be if you are still in school and if not, the best you can be at work or volunteering or taking fun classes where you will meet people with similar interests. So I dont mean to be harsh, but try to stop feeling sorry for yourself. It isnt helpful

Answer 4

OK you need to put your emotions and your needs aside for a moment; this is potentially a very very dangerous situation for your sister, she is being moved against her will to a country in the Middle East with a man who physically abuses her and who doesn't care for her, this will get much worse of she does this. She is afraid to tell him now, she will be terrorized and kept a virtual prisoner if she does this move. He is an abuser and a control freak and he wants to move her to an ARAB country; VERY VERY bad idea. You need to talk to her and get some friends together to talk to her but you must do all you can to stop this before she finds herself in a prison with this maniac. Don't approach it with your need,s approach it with her needs in mind and the fact that she is endangering herself and her life and happiness.