My small Poem?

Question

Im not a very good poet, but im trying. This is the only decent poem i've made so far, what do you think?

I wrote your name in the sky,

but the wind blew it away.

I wrote your name in the sand,

but the waves washed it away.

I wrote your name in my heart,

and forever it will stay.

Its small i know, but do you like it?

Answer 1

I liked it, it's very cute, like a water painting in words...good job write more.....it reminds me of a memory...

Answer 2

i like it in the sense that you sound like you didnt give up on knowing and trying to show your neverending love for someone and the thought that you are always thinking of that person very heartfelt and yet satisfying  good job!!

Answer 3

yes I like it

Answer 4

It's a nice poem.

Answer 5

A lovely simple poem...but oh so true.

(Perhaps..."You wrote your name in my heart"....just a thought.)

Please find poems by Gustavo Adolfo Becquer, I'm sure you will love them.

Answer 6

i think it's wicked snazzy!!!!!!!

Answer 7

yes...as is memory

Answer 8

Bravo!

Answer 9

I think it's excellent...

a poem doesn't have to be long to be good and meaningful.

In a different way... to me, it sort of touched on the impermanence of material objects while focusing on the permanence of love.

Answer 10

that is so cute! i love it!!

Answer 11

why don't you make it has an anticlimax?

e.g.:

how great is your name meaningful for me

till i don't want it cease from my mind

and how firmless is the sky guessed by me

as those sands can not hold your name of mine

and i hope that my heart won't turn its back from yours

though it will last of a whilst that me and you be as us

Answer 12

Sure, not bad.

Happy Trails!

~Wintergreen~

Answer 13

It sounds awfully familiar...and even if it wasn't it still sounds like a bad MySpace-page poem...