My son asked me if his father was my first.. What do i do?

Question

My son is in the sixth grade, and therefore very curious. The other day he asked me if his father was the first man I ever had s*x with, and of course, he wasn't. But how do I tell my son that? Or should I just lie to him? I have no idea what to do. Even my husband doesn't know about my past relationships, and I don't want my son mentioning this to him.

Answer 1

Well, if you have a problem with your husband knowing that you had s*x before, there i something wrong with you relationship.You neither have to tell your husband nor your son when you had your first time and how many other man you had.

If you denie this to your husband than it shows that someho you have a problem with that yourself, which is from a psychological point of view not healthy.

But imagine you son believes you and than asks your husband about it and somehow things always get out.

I think its okay to lie to your son now (or be vague), just to keep him morally a bit on the safe side. However, one day you should tell him and also your husband. There is nothing wrong with having past relationships.

Imagine your husband already knows that he was not your first and than he fears weird about you lying to your son. If you do tell your son the truth you can also connect it with things like 'being ready' and 'making mistakes' and you can also turn to better topics like 'love'.

Lies, especially to your children usually are not good, cause they are very sensitive with that.

Answer 2

I have to disagree with everyone who said to lie to your son. If you want an honest and open relationship with your children about s*x drugs or whatever else is going on in their life then you have to answer the question honestly. Granted you don't have to tell him your exact number of s*x partners, just say that before you and your husband met you were in love with another man. You had s*x but the relationship didn't work out. Then you met his father and fell in love blah blah blah. Sixth grade is not too young to have open communication with your children.

Odie

Answer 3

lie   its none of your sons business anyway.  hes only in grade 6 for cryin out loud.

Answer 4

You should be honest and if you dont want to tell him ,say that.

I know as a parent you want your children to trust you and believe in what you say dont give in to the lies

Answer 5

This is one of those times to lie to your children. He will think that if you had s*x before marriage he can too and it will totally ruin all of his values.

Answer 6

Tell him your husband was the 1st love you had or at least the 1st man you loved enough to be blessed with a child... and keep it on that subject Not about s*x but love...It's none of his business and change the subject or ask what he thinks about s*x and put the answers for him not you to answer...Don;t think too hard or tell too much..kids know alot and don;'t have to know details ...

Answer 7

answer very vaguely, children are often satisfied with much less information then we give.

Answer 8

Just explain to your son that you're not comfortable with sharing that with him at the age he is.

Answer 9

Don't tell him he's far too young to think about this kind of stuff!

Answer 10

LIE LIE LIE.... NO GOOD REASON TO ROCK THAT BOAT OR BEAT THAT DEAD HORSE, IS THERE....

NOBODY HAS TO KNOW YOUR PAST BUT YOU....

Answer 11

Tell him that this is an adult situation and really none of his business

Answer 12

how can you not tell your husband..either you lie to your kid it really not his business.cause if you tell the truth the prob. would be your husband finding out.how bad can it be??

Answer 13

I totally disagree with the first answer you received.  I'm a firm believer that honesty is always the best policy.  Once you start to lie, it always seems to escalate and it usually comes back to bite you.

This is a really good opportunity for you to have an honest heart to heart to your son.  Explain to him that sometimes when you're young, you have s*x before you're ready..... perhaps thinking at the time you would always be with that person.  He will learn that by waiting until you marry, he won't be put in situations like this with his own children and although he might be a bit hurt, he will, in the long run, respect your being honest with him.  It might also be a good time to come clean with your husband as well.

Answer 14

Tell your son the truth, but don't give him specifics.

Maybe you could explain how the whole dating / relationship thing works, then he may understand why your husband wasn' the first you had s*x with.

Answer 15

be honest.

if he asked u he probably already knows.

just say that they were meaningful at the time but now they are in the past and you father is the most wonderful man i have ever been with.

kids can sense when your lying. partly cause they are so good at it them selves so just be stright up with him. if you lie he could be the weird kid that never has s*x.