My son attended a birthday party and gave $50 worth of gifts, mother keeps trying to contact us with question?

Question

My son attended a birthday party and gave the birthday child gifts valued over $50. My son stayed a bit after the party (which had over 30 children at it) along with one other child and watched the birthday child open a few gifts. The mother (in front of my son) indicated that she would be returning some of the few items that my son watched being opened. My son was picked up by me and the mother, one child and visitor child continued on opening the HUGE amount of presents. Beginning the following morning we began getting calls from the mother asking where we bought it (she left messages) because they wanted to 'use' the item and needed refills. The item came with accessories and I included a whole package of refills so my guess is that she just wanted to return it. The boy hassled my son at school over and over for where it was bought. I had written the mother a note indicating where refills could be purchased. The mother, since getting that note, is still trying to call me!

Answer 1

I completely agree with you.  Its one thing on doubles, to return things, but appears she's obviously got something else going on.  

However, Im curious, is that typical to spend that much on "friends" gifts?  My kids are under 5, but pretty much all parents put "no gifts" on the invite.  Hoping this doesnt change :)

Edit -

we only buy gifts for cousins, and then spend 20 or 25.  The cousins are older and we typically get their hand-me-downs.  The same gifts we gave them!  Which is great!

My thoughts are that gift giving, favor bags, elaborate parties, multiple showers, registries for everything, are so out of hand.  Nothing is special anymore.  Plus look at these companies like Sharper Image, declaring gift cards cant even be redeemed!

Answer 2

I think the mother is being very rude, and probably wants to cash out on the gifts, and is probably picking the obviously expensive gifts to cash out on.. and it sounds like yours made the list.

Even though you gave her a list of the stores where the refills could be purchased, she's probably trying to call you to find out the SPECIFIC store you bought it at.  I wouldn't tell her and if she gets angry about it, just tell her to stop calling you about it and harassing you about it.  If she wants to go through the trouble of returning gifts, then she can go through the trouble to find out where you bought it from.

I feel bad for her child, she's teaching him bad manners.  And for next year, I'd decline the party invitation.  Obviously, with that many children there, it's just a "gimmie fest" and I'm sure your son will not be missed.  This would be a good chance to teach your son a lesson as far as accepting gifts and being polite about it.  Not saying you're a bad mom -obviously you're a great mom or this wouldn't bother you- but I think a moral could be learned here.

Answer 3

Yup, that mother is a rude money hungry person that will ruin her child's life by returning his birthday gift. Eventually two things will happen with this child and his mother, 1) the child will see his mother's ghetto money hungry trashy ways and will grow up to be the opposite of his role model or 2) he will see this in his mother and because this is what she shows him and raises him, he will grow up to be sneaky, rude and money hungry as well.

Answer 4

Rude, rude, RUDE.  Give him a home-made gift next time!

Seriously, though.  Some people are unbelievable.  One time, a mother told me that her kids didn't want gifts for Christmas because all they wanted was a new house, so cash gifts would be fine.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?!

I would just take her call, tell her where it came from and forget about it. . . . until his next birthday rolls around.  You'll know better then!

Answer 5

After you give a gift to someone, they can do whatever they want with it.  Its as simple as that.  You DO NOT have to supply the information that she wants though.  Just ignore her.  She'll eventually go away.  From now on, don't spend that much money on a birthday gift for someone you barely know.  It was a ridiculous amount of money to spend in the first place.

On a side note: why are you so worried about this families financial situation?  One minute you say you bought the gift because you felt bad for them, then talk about how he has more toys than your own son.  Sounds like YOU are just as obsessed with toys and money as the woman you are accusing of being "money hungry".

Answer 6

Its rude of course but from the sounds of it the kid is spoiled so I would expect the same from the parents. And $50 for a gift for a kid who isn't family are you serious?!

Answer 7

Tell her you are unsure because somebody else picked it up for you. That is rude, poor kid-  returning for money is tacky. Or you could tell her you got it at Target- they won't take anything back or exchabge or even give you store credit without a receipt.

Answer 8

that was completely rude of her but i would just give her the info and tell her how much its worth that you can say "that should be enough to buy you a new attitude after you return it"lol but seriously just tell her and forget about it because its not worth worrying over now.

Answer 9

how rude. as far as i know, gift cards cannot be returned. the receipts are in case the amount isnt correct or they are lost or stolen. i suggest a homemade gift for that child next time

Answer 10

I agree with Miss Sunshine. Tell them someone picked up for you, like your husband or a family member and they threw out the recipet.

Or better yet, also like what Miss Sunshine said, tell them you got it from Target, Walmart or Toys "R" Us. They will never, ever let you return anything without a recipet.

If the mom still bugs you, I suggest you stop all contact with this woman and your son. Call her and tell her it is rude to say to your face you want to return it and that is way VERY rude to have her son hassle you at school.

Your son may lose a friend, but that boy doesn't seem like a nice kid if he wants to hassle your son.

I had a simmilar situation. My daughter's friend was requesting a Spider Man Action Sprayer Gun or something like that and I put in a lot of refills. The mom did the same thing. I just cut off contact with her!

Good luck!

Answer 11

i dont spend that much on my OWN kids for birthdays.  as for schoolmates it is usually between 5-8$.  if i spent 50$ on every birthday party my twins go to i  would be BROKE in a few months.  i spend about 20$ on niece and nephews.  as for the returning things.  after you have given a gift it is just that a GIFT, you have no say or control in what happens to it afterwards.  if you are upset at it, maybe you shouldnt have sent it or spent that much on it.  maybe she thinks some of the toys are inappropriate, or things she doesnt allow in her home.  i would say let it go, if you do not agree with what she does, then do not allow your child to go to parties there anymore.  but to me a gift is a gift and unless it is broke or dont fit, it has nothing to do with you after you give it.

let the thumbs down roll

Answer 12

Why not just tell her where you bought it and get her off your back.  How well do you know this lady?  Could it be that she is that desperate for the money?

Answer 13

I'm a little bit confused. Most stores, if any, won't let you return gift cards.