My son doesnt know he has a step dad?

Question

my son is seven and since the age of 18 months he has called my husband dad ,he has not seen his bio since he was 3 there has been no contact between them.he adores his dad but has no idea that he is not his biological father i dont know how or when to tell him as i dont want to hurt him as he is our only child and we adore him please help

Answer 1

I would just tell him that he has "another" father that he doesn't know.  Wait until one day when you are talking about fathers.  Tell him he is lucky because he has two.  Tell him that his biological father left when he was three, and he got a new dad.  Better to explain it now than wait until he is a teenager.

Answer 2

Just be honest with him. Tell him he had another dad before but he had to go somewhere else. And then tell him that stepdad is still his dad. So in a sense he has 2 dads, but 1 is somewhere else. He may ask a lot of questions at his age, but I think he would understand it.

Answer 3

He WILL be hurt, whether you tell him at age 8 or 18 or 28.

HE WILL BE HURT!!!

But the important thing to tell him is that his bio dad only donated sperm, his step dad is his REAL DAD!!!!  The one that taught him how to ride a bike, gave him advice on girls, etc.

His bio dad didn't do any of that.

Answer 4

you should tell him. The longer you wait the tougher it will be on both of you.

Answer 5

dont wait any longer-he will feel lied to and develop mistrust for both of you if he finds out later. have a family meeting. do you have any pics for him to have? sit down and start with "hey, we need to tell you something". at 7, he doesn't know it's a big deal yet-he will probably swallow the info, ask questions, then go on with life. have you ever met a teenager who just found out the truth about one of his parents? it's not pretty, i can assure you.