My son has ADHD with ODD. How do i get him to be nicer to his friends?

Question

My 7 year old can be so rude to his friends at times. Then he wonders why he has very little friends. He is very impulsive and does not thing about future consequences (as with many kids wiht ADHD) so when he doesnt like something, he will say it and sometimes it really hurts the other child. Im surprised these particular two children keep playing with my son. Ive talked to my son many times and often tell him to apologize when catching him at the moment but he continues to do it. Any advice?

Answer 1

beat his ***

Answer 2

tell his friends to get revenge

Answer 3

when he starts losing friends he will realize

Answer 4

He needs more experience being around kids then he will grow accustom to what is normal.

Answer 5

At 7, logic is just starting to be an effective tool.  Continue to talk, of course.  Timeouts are also effective.  One minute per year of age.  They never stop working.  I mean, they can really suck when you're 45.

My son can be rude, but as he's in the 5th percentile in size, he sees that it doesn't work very well.  He can be incredibly outgoing.  So he comes up with activity ideas and persuades kids even twice his age to do them.  It's constructive, and you might be able to teach it.

I find that rewards work best for behavior modification.  You can promise them something you'd give them anyway, if you can be prepared to withhold it.  TV is a privilege to be granted or denied. Same for video games.  I save the best rewards for good behavior.

It might have been 8 when he started saying, "I'm not going to practice violin - you can't make me."  My reply was, "The evidence is against you", which was true enough.  It's the rewards system that has gotten him through 7 years of violin.  If he acts up, which happens, all i need to do is leave the room.  He realizes that the rewards are potentially forfeit, and screams for my return.  I don't return until he's calmed down.  It's like a reverse timeout. Sometimes, i'm even vindictive.  I'll play the video game he was promised while i wait.  I'm happy to report that i no longer get extremely good at them.  I don't get so much practice anymore.

He's 11 now, and still acts without thinking.  We're still working on it.