My son has an issue with his soccer team.Please read.

Question

Okay. A few minutes ago we returned from my sons' soccer game. His team won, and i was very proud of him. He scored the winning goal, but all of his team members turned on him. They told him that he "didn't deserve to get that goal". Right in front of me, his father, and his sister! I was totally steamed, so i walked over to the child's father and asked him if he could speak to his son about talking to him like that, and he said " Ya know lady, if you weren't pregnant you'd be dead right now." I felt that as a threat, my son has gone through Pre-K-5th grade with this sport, and he's continuing when he enters middle school. He's very upset, he had alot of friends on the team. He's a very fast and athletic boy, and his friends are jealous. I spoke to the coach who said " let them be boys''. Should i just let him quit the team? I'm very protective of my son because when he was younger he had a very bad fight with some kids on his team, but they made up. Please help!

Answer 1

Just ignore her. Tell your son he's great, and tell him not to talk to the bratty kid!

Answer 2

I can understand the other team getting mad but his own team?? Sounds bizzare to me. There has to be more to this story

Answer 3

I have found, and most mothers I know agree with me, that you need to let kids be kids and stay out of their squabbles, unless someone is being physically hurt.  Your mistake was talking to the boys father.  Since it is an organized sport, you should have gone directly to the coach and let him know what remark you heard, and that your son was upset about it.  If he is a good coach, he would talk to his team about it.  I wouldn't let him quit until the season is over.  Then he can start looking for a new team.

Answer 4

To me, that was totally uncalled for. In my opinion, your son should definitely quit the team. Let him join a better team with better sportsmanship. Those kids are very jealous and mean. Your son deserves to be treated fairly. Especially the child's father comment..that was outright mean. Let your son quit the team. Then the team will lose and beg for him back....tell them no. (:

Answer 5

you should quit and go on a better team

3

Answer 6

sam<3 is right about sportsmanship, if the coach doesn't get that "sporting" behaviour is a core part of any sport then he doesn't sound like a very good coach. One of the biggest benefits of doing sports as a child is learning about teamwork, and it sounds like the coach is not interested in this at all. Yes, "boys will be boys", but that doesn't mean their coach should let them get away with abusing a team mate without at least talking to them about how & why a team should pull together and support each other.

I wonder if, because you feel so protective of your son, the protectiveness was all that the coach saw when you talked to him, and perhaps that made you too easy to write off as an "anxious", "overprotective" parent, without him fully considering the incident and how it relates to sportmanship and teamwork. Might be worth trying to chat with him again, but if he doesn't seem to get it then I'd question his coaching skills and find a better team to join (or a new sport to learn! I know he's put a lot into the soccer but there are hundreds of other interesting sports which could open up a whole new world to him).

Also, I'd say the other parents reply to you was pretty out of order; even if he meant it as a joke (or perhaps because his interpretation of what happened was different) it's not a very kind or constructive thing to say under the circumstances, and probably explains a lot about his son's behaviour with an example like that to follow!!

Good luck!

Answer 7

Is your son the star player? I ask this because maybe he isn't the best "teammate" I used to coach youth ice hockey and I had a very gifted player on the team and none of the kids liked him. You know why?

He would never EVER pass, he would always claim that he is the reason for the team being good. He would never play defense. It got to the point that I had him play less until he realized what he was doing. I spoke to him many times and never caught on until he lost playing time.

Your son may not realize he is doing it, but tell him to make sure he's being a strong team player and utilize his teammates more.

That guy was out of line for saying that to you, but they may all be frustrated and their kids may be upset as well.

Just something to think about.

Answer 8

Put him on a different team with bahaving children and sane parents...if he wants to let him stay on the team he is on...children are cruel but they will get over it pretty fast. i would be sooo offended by that remark that i would press charges..bc pregnancy is temporary and he might want you dead after the baby is out....really ..you should act like its an even bigger deal than it is already.

Answer 9

That was unfair and uncalled for. I'd say that they may have just been jealous. Talk to your son and see if this has been going on for a while. Ask him if he wants to stay. It seems like he really likes the sport, so try seeing if there's another team in your area.