My son has stopped doing his schoolwork????

Question

For some reason my son has stopped doing his classwork at school and of course is receiving some pretty horrible grades. How can I get him to understand that this stuff is important and that he needs to do well in school and so that I will stop having to punish him for this behavior. He is 7 and is in 2nd grade. Right now he is grounded and that seems to be bothering him quite a bit but who really knows. Any suggestions are most welcome.

Answer 1

You might not like my answer - but I think schoolwork is NOT important. Enforced education really messes with the minds of children.

It turns learning into something horrible and to be dreaded.

And children don't start off that way.

For kids who do not have education enforced on them, learning is a bright, wonderful experience.

I don't blame a kid who doesn't want to submit to pointless busywork.

http://www.freewebs.com/why-school-sucks

Answer 2

omg hes only 7!!

hes only young!!

when hes older and undertsands more tell him that if you want to be successful in life and not be stuck in tescos stackin beans on shelves, you have to work hard and obtain good grades and go to collega or university

Answer 3

Maybe try grounding him from all out everything. Snacks he likes, make him eat vegetables for snacks. Playing with friends, watching tv, etc. Maybe try telling him that if he gets bad grades then you and your wife will be in trouble by the school. Make something up. goodluck.

Answer 4

best just to talk to him and ask him whats bothering him or what it is in school he does not like. Reasons could range from boredom to bullies.. Does he have too much at home at this age? pc, cell phone and stuff.. I think young kids that have this stuff have their minds on games and friends more then school.

Answer 5

ok this could be a sign that he has either an issue with his eyes or perhaps with the work that he's meant to be doing or it might mean that he is getting bullied by an older kid

take him to get his eyes tested

find out if he can actually do the work

ask him if he's getting bullied

Answer 6

I don't know your son but my brother is in High School and has the same problem.  Maybe your son is bored with school, possible because the work is too easy and he need more of a challenge.  Try doing the work with him and make it fun for him.  Get him excited about learning new things by spending time doing the homework with him.  Good Luck!

Answer 7

Well, my mother used to persuade me to get good grades by paying for my car insurance. She would not pay for my car insurance (which meant I couldn't drive) unless I recieved a B Average - the "good student discount".

Of course I was much older that your son, but you can use a similar tactic. For exmaple, if he likes video games you can buy him a game he wants every grading period as long as he gets the grades you wish for.

Another thing my mother did was give us money for our grades. An A was worth $10, a B was worth $5, that kind of a thing.

While grounding him will eventually work (I was once grounded for a whole summer until I stopped doing what I was getting in trouble for), try enticing him to get good grades by rewarding his work.

You can have a rule that from 4pm-6pm each night is homework time and be available to help him if he needs it.

You may also want to try setting up an appointment with his teacher. Maybe there is a reason he is not doing his homework, like it is too hard or too easy for him.

Hope this helps.

Answer 8

He is still very young.  He will most likely grow out of the behavior.  Maybe he is bored?  Punishing him how?  Taking things away? spanking?  I tell you what I would do is just to sit him down and look him straight in his face and tell him you love him and you know that he can do much better.  Also, there may be something going on in the classroom distracting him.  Go and have a talk with the principal about your options.  Most schools have a student support team.  Where maybe he needs more one on one attention and teaching.  Smaller classes and the teachers are more tolerable and understanding.  I went through something like this with my son when he was in 1st and 2nd grade.  When he got to 3rd grade he improved tremendously.  It was a total different school and he was a little older.  Sometimes it depends on the teacher as well...they may not be showing the attention to your son that he may require.  Just be patient with your son and try and be as nice as you can about it with him.  Children this young usually don't respond to long term restrictions.  They just grow animosity and act out even more.  Good luck..talk with the principal about options and changes that can be made at school.  At home just give him the love he needs and find a way to make school and learning interesting to him.  He will be OK..no worries.

Answer 9

Beat the sh*t out of him!!!  That's NO way to raise a kid.  You can't just let him do what he wants and too young to really appreciate an education yet.  You have to MAKE him do his work.  Instill a work ethic for God's sake!  Tough love is the best first thing to do in this case...

Answer 10

try and reason with him about this. ask him why he has stopped doing it and search different alternatives. talk to the teachers at the school and explain why he may be having difficulties. then they will understand and can give him extra time and help with his work. they should be understanding. but do sit down and talk with him about this gently and do not push him for an answer.

Answer 11

he might have fallen in love  check  with school what is going on ?

Answer 12

I think it's a start that you have grounded him, because at least that shows him there are consequences for not getting his schoolwork done.  If he has video games or plays on the computer limiting his use of those is another option for punishment.  Maybe something is going on at school that is upsetting him into not focusing on his work?  Do you know of anyone bullying him possibly?  Either way, sitting him down and having a good old fashioned talk with him about the importance of school is a step in the right direction.

Answer 13

Try to change your behavior from negative to positive.  Put up a star chart and reward him each afternoon for getting the work done, like his choice of dessert.  Make it small rewards and not money.  But no check mark for getting it done, no dessert.  Do positive things with him when he gets work done, such as play a board game before bed or watch a show together.  

Also, speak to his teacher about if he's encountering any real difficulties in learning.  Dyslexia still does not get the attention it needs from teachers sometimes.

Good luck.

Answer 14

i would ask the teacher if there is anything going on  in school and tell her the problem and maybe she could suggest something

Answer 15

Have you asked him why he stopped? Is school so difficult for him that he has given up, is he being teased at school and this is his way of coping, does he dislike his teachers and classmates, or is he just being lazy,? If his refusal to do homework is because of the first three situations I would consider homeschooling him (probably the best solution) or changing schools. But if it is the latter as his parent you have to put your foot down (as you've already done). I hope this helps!

Answer 16

He's probably going through a phase. Try to ask him what's wrong.

Answer 17

Sit there with him and watch him do it.  Be interactive and check over his work with him.  Offer him some sort of reward for getting good grades and keeping them.  That is what I did with my son and it seemed to work.  Ask him every day, How was your day, what did you do and did you learn anything and do you have any homework.

Answer 18

IDK maybe visite some one in jail or tell him about all the bad place young kids go If they don't do well in shool. Ask him if he wants to grow up and have a good job to support him self or to go and buy him self a really cool car. Think of stuff he really likes and tell him about that

Answer 19

I dont have kids yet but I know what kept me going as a little kid was a reward system. Certainly keep your punishment system in place but also have this. Also little kids need SMALL goals. For instance have little treats after daily homework and tests! Best of Luck!

Answer 20

Since he's so young, it really sounds like there is something going on besides just wanting to do schoolwork.  He could be having problems with a kid in the class, or maybe he and the teacher have a personality class.  I highly suggest you speak to his teacher and try to dig deeper into why this is happening rather than just continue to punish him without digging further.

Answer 21

In addition to many of these good answers ( I don't quite understand why there are a lot of thumbs down on some good answers) I suggest that you start talking about college NOW.  I have been talking to my son about college since he was five and how important it is (especially these days) and why it is so important...explaining it in a way that he will understand at his age...good grades, get to go to college so you can get a good job so you can pay for things that you need and want like (insert favorite toys, food, have lights and water in house in order to take showers, and see at night and be warm in cold and cool in warm weather,  etc.)  Work with him everyday when you or he comes home.  Talk to him about his homework and show an interest in what he is learning and doing.  Check his homework and study with him.  Do this with him everyday until he is at least in 6th grade.  My son is in seventh grade now and has consistently made A's and B's.  I suggest getting him involved in an extracurricular activity like sports, clubs, etc. This will encourage responsibility which will in turn bring in good grades and a since of confidence and pride.  Also I think it is a very good idea to talk to his teacher and see if she can give you any insight.  Let your son know that you will be speaking with his teacher and she will appreciate it too which in turn will be more involved and active with your son.  Also if at all possible volunteer for something at school.  When parents are involved with the school, it seems to help with their grades.  Even if it's a party you help at or start having lunch with him once a week.   Which reminds me, encouarge your son to get involved with any school events associated with her school.

Also make sure his room is clean and organized and folders are neat and organized and reward with cool pencils, erasers, etc.

Also allow to teacher to appropriately punish him in class for work not done.  She should be working with him and talking with you and him as it is very difficult for you to do much when you aren't there.  I think punishing him at home is very appropriate as long as you have confirmed that there isn't anything else going on like a learning problem or problem with other kids at school, etc.  My son at that age talked too much.  He was moved next to a very shy girl who NEVER talked and by the end of the day he had her talking too.  He ended up being moved to a desk all by himself away from everyone else and he learned real quick to be a good, quiet boy.  Hopefully your son is just going through a stage right now.  First grade can get pretty boring for some kids and honestly he might just not have a very good teacher.

Also don't forget to tell them how much you love him and how proud of him you are.

Answer 22

I THINK ITS A FAZE MY ON IS GOING THRU IT AGAIN!!! HE'S IN THE 5TH GRADE AND THE BIGGEST CONCERN I HAD WITH HIM IS VERY SIMPLE HE GOT BORED! THE MATERIAL HE WAS LEARNING WAS BEHIND HIS LEVEL DO YOU NDERSTAND MY SON WAS TO ADVANCED FOR THAT SO,, GET THE TEACHER INVOLVED AND HAVE YOUR SONS IQ ESTED HE COULD BE BORED BECAUSE HE KNOWS IT ALREADY...!!!BUT DONT GIVE UP ON HIM HES WORHECKING INTO THE FACTS  GO HANG OUT WITH HIS CLASS GET MORE INVOLVED YOU WILL NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE

Answer 23

I am in the same boat as you, only my stepson is in 6th grade and is 12 and has always had a problem with being unmotivated at school.  

We sat him down over the weekend and basically told him his behavior was not going to be tolerated, period, end of story.  We were tired of having to ground him or punish him and it was his responsibility to complete his schoolwork and study appropriately for tests.  I told him that I did not have the time to be emailing his teachers each and every day, or at the beginning of each week, to follow up on him.  I also threatened to take a day (or several days) off work and accompany him to school.  And by "accompany" I mean stick to him like glue, volunteer him to answer each and every question each and every teacher posed in each and every class, sit right next to him throughout the day and basically embarrass him (since his poor grades and talking out in class don't seem to be embarrassing him).  He looked horrified so hopefully that will do the trick.

Since your son apparently was doing his schoolwork prior, you might want to talk to his teachers and/or his counselor to see if there is something going on at school, some change in his schedule, etc.  Something has caused him to no longer want to complete assignments - - seems like his disregard for schoolwork is a symptom of a bigger problem.  

Best of luck to you with your situation!

Answer 24

Read this book....I am currently reading it to help with a similar issue with my son.

The Motivation Breakthrough by Richard Lavoie

if nothing else it might help you figure out WHY your son has stopped doing his school work.  Also, have a conference with his teacher and ask her input on the situation.  She will have a good idea of what is going on in the classroom that might be contributing and also you might pick up on some ways that she comes across that might be contributing to the problem as well.

Answer 25

a reward system would be good, or maybe things he likes to do or places he likes to go to..u can tell him thats where youll take him if he makes so many As or Bs or what not. But also I can tell you there might be more to this whole not doing homework.. has he withdrew from other things as well? U should really talk to him about whats going on trust me kids need u to try and talk to them even when they say 'leave me alone' try but dont be too pushy maybe ever couple of days try to talk to him and eventually they let it out if there is something thats going on... there might be a big problem.

Answer 26

You need to find something that he does not want to "lose", it seems that grounding him does not bother him, so why should he change.  With both my kids -girl age 7  and boy age 9, they earn video game time, if they have their homework done and checked by myself or their dad, 2 hours after getting home from school.  Most of the time, this "game" time is so important to them, that they are done right away.  Now, we don't give them unlimited time,they get 15 minutes, and then they have to earn more time by helping out around the house.

Maybe this would help your son.  You could also reward him with the good grades that he'd bring home.

Answer 27

Good for him and shame on you. You shouldn't be sending him to that dumb school and their dull teaching to begin with. Maybe if you'd back off and let him flourish, he might become something meaningful one day instead of a dumb worker.

Answer 28

try to bribe him

"if you get high marks i will get you......"

whatever he likes. as long as its not a lamborghini :)

Answer 29

Schedule a meeting with his teacher. Let him know you are going to meet with his teacher about him not doing his school work. During that meeting talk with the teacher and let her/him know that you are open to suggestions about how to get him to do his school work during class. Also, make sure your son knows that at least every week, and sometimes more often, you will be calling or emailing his teacher to check his progress. If he does not start doing his work, then there will be more punishment. Also, I don't know what his favorite things are, but try taking some of those things away from him. I know with my daughter, it works to take TV, DVD player, Game Cube and MP3 player from her. We do one at a time and that usually works. If it doesn't then we take more. Usually we start with MP3 player since that it her favorite. But so far what we have done has worked. We haven't had a problem with her doing school work, but we have had problems with her doing homework. I'm lucky. Her teacher's all have email addresses and I can email them on a daily basis and they answer me that day. She never knows when I'm going to email one of her teachers so she makes sure she is good everyday. There are times she does get out of line in school, but a quick email and she comes back to reality that she's not going to get away with it. I wish you luck. Unfortunately, they do not come with instructions.

Answer 30

Why has he stopped?

He's 7.  It means he's not in a rebellious stage, he's not bored with school, he's not doing it to spite his parents.

Maybe the teacher makes him read his work out loud?

Maybe the teacher pays special attention to him when he does not do his work?

Maybe the other kids think its cool when he gets in trouble, or there is another kid that he looks up to who gets in trouble.

You must find the question before the answer is apparent.

Answer 31

Based on my experience, the punishment could escalate the problem.  You need to find a way to make the homework fun.  We've created a 'pacifier' generation, and by the time kids are 7 they've locked on to such.  Do the homework with your son, make it appear that it's a chore for you as well, sort of like a game.  But, let him win, by you guessing the wrong answers, etc.  Good grades need to be rewarded, even at such a young age.  Some folks will disagree, but we reward high school seniors with academic scholarships and those same parents don't disagree at that point, when they're relieved of some/all of the college costs.  The process never ends, good college grades lead to a degree, to a job, and good job performance leads to promotions/higher wages, etc.  

Work with him.  But keep in mind change will take time.  It took him a while to get to this point, it will take the same amount of time, or more, to get away from it and back on track.

BEST OF LUCK, and hang in there as it will seem tougher on you than on him.