My son is 11 and wont listen to me?

Question

I am a single Mum and having problems with my 11 year old boy. I know he is upset as his Dad has started work in another state but he is taking it out on me. He defies me from brushing his teeth in the morning going to bed. He cries about his Dad, says he hates everything, does not want to get out of bed in the morning. Last night he was trying to tell his Dad how he felt aon the phone and he thought his Dad was not listening just making excuses he ended up getting really angry and threw a glass of milk at the wall please help? I have no control anymore.

Answer 1

try to talk to him

Answer 2

I would suggest couselling.  I have an 11 year old, and he is pretty good, but he has issues with his dad.  However, we are close, so he talks to me.  

I often find that bed time is a great time to talk to him about his issues.  We have "us" time at bedtime, just he and I hang out for a bit and talk about anything during the day that he wants to get off his chest.  However, I also recognise that my son is quite sensitive by nature, and maybe this is why we are so close, whereas, he has indicated that he "doesn't get" his dad.

Maybe finding time, if you don't already, to just have one on one time with him may help.  It sounds like he is angry at something, and it's not necessarily you.

Despite we adults believing our kids accept the family splits, it isn't necessarily the case.  I split with my ex when my son was only 2.  He remembers nothing about it, and doesn't remember us ever being together, but he still questions it to this day.  You haven't mentioned how long you have been apart, but I think kids always kind of hope that things will fix themselves, even though they know it won't.  Maybe you ex moving away has made him realise his hopes are just not possible?

Answer 3

GO over there and spanks him if he refuses spank him again  

Answer 4

im 12 and my dad left my mom and abanded mye he never calls me not even there for me tell your son that the more he takes angry on the people tyhat are innocent he gets worsst he has to get serious with his dad cause he lucky to have a mom that wants to be there for him he should say somethings to his dad that will make j=him listen trust me its a horrible feeling not having a dad being there for you even more if your a boy i really hurts sit down with him and have him tell you all that is brothing you before he has a nervous breakdown  

Answer 5

spank his butt

Answer 6

Good luck. My soon to be 11 year old son, does not listen to me. He thinks he knows everything and can do what ever he wants. His dad and I are still together and he will listen to his dad, but he still back talks.  Take him to a behavioral specialist, or a therapist.

Answer 7

he needs counsiling.

Answer 8

Punish him. Why is he mad at you? it's his dad who isn't listening to him.

My dad worked in another state for close to a year when I was 9 while he and my mom were seperated. I never treated my mom like that though, as upsetting as it was. I know you feel bad for him, but acting out is still disrespectful of him to do.

Try conseling, talk to the dad about ways to keep in touch with his son,  plan fun things for you and your son to do together, etc. But don't let him get away with disobeying you otherwise it won't stop.