My son is a Sissy, I need help please!?

Question

Hello.

My son is 8 years old, and likes, well, pretty much nothing boyish. I've tried and tried to push football and baseball and trucks and GI Joe etc on him, but nothing has stuck. He likes watching Hannah Montana, coming with me or his cousin to the mall, and his favorite color is powder blue!

All the friends he has at school are girls, because boys "aren't nice" to him.

I don't want to sound like a homophobe or anything, but I don't want my son to grow up to be a sissy. I know he'll be picked on when he gets older. He's a little short and skinny for his age as it is, and acting like this, well, I remember the boys who got picked on when I was in school.

So I need advice to toughen him up... what should I do? Should I make him act like a girl so much that he hates it and rebels into being manly? Should I keep pushing boyish things on him?

Help please.

Answer 1

continue to push some guy stuff on kim but not SO MUCH! OR  HE WILL HATE BOY STUFF!!! boxing is good idea you cant choose his friends for him but if he gets picked on... he can kick butt! KARATE OR BOXING! you chose! best of luck!

Answer 2

tricky situation.

just let him be who he wants to.

he's only 8, could just be a phase.

does he have a 'fatherfigure' around, or is he surroundd by a lot of women

also, if you force boyish things on him or tell him its not right boys to like shopping and hannah montana then he may grow up and resent you for it

i know you have his best interests in mind, and you don't want him to be picked on .. i don't see that as homophobic...

but if i were you i would let him just act how he wants, it makes him happy .. in my opinion nature is stronger than nurture in most cases.

thats just what i think, you know your son, i don't.

so do what you feel most comfortable with.

Answer 3

Your best course of action is to not do anything harsh.  If he turns out g*y, there is nothing you can do about it and you don't want him hating you when he's an adult because you did something cruel or mean to him when he was little.

However there is nothing wrong with trying to get him to move in the right direction subtley.

Let him do girlish things, and make him associate them with negative things...  when he wants something girlish, don't do anything nice, no dessert, no extra TV time, etc and instead make him eat extra veggies with dinner or go to bed early.

When he does something boyish reward him.  Compliment him on it and reward him with ice cream or allow him to stay up and watch a movie.  Emphasize how much of a good boy he is being when he does one of these things.

Remember you can't make your son's choices for him, but you can make him happier with the choices you like.

Answer 4

don't try to make him play or watch something he does not want to do because he will start to not like you when he get older so just back off and let him grow up and see where he might go in what he wants to do

Answer 5

If he likes things like Hannah Montana, then he does! You can't force him to be something he doesn't want to be do! It will just end up making it a lot worse in the end. If he ends up being g*y, it sounds like you're going to be the one picking on him all the time! Don't be foolish. Grow up and let HIM grow up the way he wants to.

Answer 6

He is totally normal. Quit worrying. Why would you want to force him to change? He is who he is. Would you like it if someone forced you to change your fundamental personality? He very likely will grow out of this phase and be "normal" but if you force him to change do you know what he will remember? That his mom didn't love him enough to accept him as he is.

Leave him alone please.

Answer 7

Personally I don't think its that much of a big deal. Most boys go through this. Maybe yours is just going through it a little later. Big deal. My health nurse told my mothers group that if your boy wants to play with a barbie's -let him, because its good for their development. Its probably just a phase. Take some photo's so you can all laugh on is 21st.

Answer 8

Dress him up in a dress and hair bows. I bet you he will think twice about that favorite color!

lol. @ the thumbs down!

Answer 9

Just let him be himself when the day comes when hes getting picked on explain to him why hes getting pick on and maybe h**l understand then maybe h**l take some defense class

Answer 10

You need to accept your son and get over what you want him to be. If you keep it up.....you will mess him up and cause him to have low self-esteem. There is nothing wrong with what he is doing. Just be his mom and love him unconditionally. He maybe judged from everyone else outside his home....so, why don't you supply a place for him to be comfortable and be who he truely is. That is your job.....be his mom....not his enemy!!

Answer 11

At 8 years old he pretty much knows what it is that he likes and dislikes. And if you try to push upon him things that he doesn't like doing, then you run the risk of alienating him.

I recommend that you try spending a lot more time with him and let him know that what ever he does is ok with you and that you will love him no matter what.

He does not need to toughen up, but I would suggest that he could be introduced to martial arts. Here the focus is as much on the mind as it is on the body. Males and Females both learn and practice the martial arts, such as karate. Learning this, can help develop his body and his mind so that he will have discipline and focus, and as a bonus, he will be able to defend himself against the people that you fear will pick on him.

k

Answer 12

my son likes Hannah Montana too i put him in basketball and i make him play he loves it now i think he will out grow it eventually my Dr says it is normally for them to experiment with it so don't worry

Answer 13

there is nothing you can do. You just have to be there for him when he has problems. All kids get bullied at some point for different things, you need to be there to talk to when he comes home same as the parents of "non sissies". Your son is who he is, why change him, do you not like your child now. If he was to change he would no longer be the boy you know and love

Answer 14

I'd say introducing more boyish things in his life isn't wrong. Forcing them is. Just let him be who he is. If he gets to a stage where he is picked on, help him through it! But, I'm not a big HM fan. She's a terrible role model. That's your problem right there. I'd get rid of Disney Channel. All my younger friends watched Disney Channel when they were kids.....yikes. Talk about immature!

Answer 15

I don't think you can toughen him up. He is who he is.  There is nothing that will change it.  I will say that I have heard this situation from other parents in my daughter's karate class.  That is why they put them in it.  It is a good activity.  It doesn't promote violence or toughness, but gets them more active.  It also goes at their own pace and there is a mixture of boys and girls in the class.  We take one at the y with a wonderful instructor that is great for their self esteem and coordination.  You might consider it.  I wouldn't say it will toughen him up, but it might make you feel better and gets him into an activity.  It may not be manly, but everyone will be impressed that he is taking it since many want to take it, but don't.

Answer 16

He might be g*y and you as his mom will have to deal with it . Your are probebly is best friend and you should ast like one and sapport him.  Whats wring with powter blue??

Answer 17

i dont know what to say to you it sounds like you wouldnt support him if he turned out diffrent. thats pretty sad just keep pushing sports and boy things if he still doesnt like them what can you do just love him no matter what

Answer 18

What is normal behavior? An overbearing mother who is unwilling to accept her son for who he is? Your son behaves in the fashion in which he is comfortable and no matter what you do you can not and should not change who he is. Just because he prefers to watch Hanna Montana, powder blue and associating with girls does not guarentee he will be a "sissy". My second youngest son, when he was younger, loved to play with dolls,taking care of them as if they were his children. He now has plenty of friends that are boys as well as girls and is pretty well rounded. One of the things he looks forward to most about growing up is being a father so I am quite happy I did not discourage his behavior like his father would have prefered me to do earlier. The same could be said of  your son, when he grows up he may be a very sensitive man that women will flock to because of his gentle, understanding, sweet nature. Of course, if you insist on forcing him to act in ways that do not suit him you may very well destroy him and any prospects of him having a fulfilling relationship, be it with a guy or girl.

Answer 19

Yes YOU do need help.  Whether you WANT to sound homophobic or not you do, it is so obvious.  It's not your son who has the problem, it is you.  You obviously are so concerned with your son being "manly"...he's an 8 year old child.    You say you "know" he will be picked on later in life...yeah by "men" like you who are actually bigger sissies than your son could ever imagine being.  My advice is to leave him alone, he will grow up to be much more of a man than his father.

Answer 20

The more you push the issue the worse the situation will get.  Let him being who he is.  All you are really teaching him is that you can't be yourself you have to conform and be like everyone else to be liked.

Answer 21

Let him be and let him fight his own battles.

You could always put him in karate or something.

Answer 22

obviously lets be real, there is a problem here. It's not that he likes hanna montana, im a grown woman and find myself watching thats so raven sometimes, but the problem is that your son seems to avoid the same s*x, bc they are mean to him. There are g**s out there that are VERY manly, so dont assume that he's turning that point. Your son is leaning towards girly things bc he's hanging out with girls. Children at that age associate with what they are familiar with. Not to toughen him up, but open him up to more guy friends, take him to areas where he can be himself with boys. Is he shy around boys bc of his past experiences with the mean boys. Open him up to different types of people and personalities. Not a sissy problem, just a bully problem maybe.

Answer 23

What about karate or Martial arts? That may give him confidence and help him if he does get picked on later in life. Plus it will keep him active and give him something to do out of school and help him develop a different friend base.

Answer 24

He is 8 and he will grow out of it.  When we were young my brother was the same way.  I always had a playmate because he would spend hours with me playing house or whatever and my dad always had a fit when he would see him playing dolls with me.  He was also small for his age and a little geeky but as he got older he realized fishing was fun and loved wresteling.  he is now 39 and a very loving and caring father that knows how to help his wife around the house and can cook better than most women I know.  My son is also 8 and although he does have boys he plays with and finally decided to play baseball this year he is usually playing house or some other thing with his sister and her friends, and his favorite color is purple this week I just laugh it off and go on because I know he will come out of it when he is ready.

Answer 25

i think it's just a stage personally. at least he likes blue and not pink though right? Does he have a male role model to look up to and take him out to do boy things?? If not maybe thats what he needs....?  

At least he HAS friends, and apparently he's already good with the girls :)   i wouldn't start super worrying until late in junior high/high school! Don't push things on him, for the risk of giving him a complex about it later on.