My son is almost 5...Can I , (his mom), still shower with him?

Question

O.K., I am fine with it, and my son does not seem to mind, either...he also showers with my husband...the only reason I asked is because I saw another question posted about a father

taking a shower with his daughter, and all the responses were mostly "no", so I thought maybe I should see if it was wrong to still have him shower with either me or my husband...and no, I don't want him to have a warped sexual identity!!

Answer 1

I don't think so.  I agree with another poster that said if you're questioning it, then the answer is probably no.

Answer 2

well i don't see anything wrong with it.i took bath's with my brothers mom and dad untill i was 7 and every now and then i still take bath's with my  mom and i'm 13.

Answer 3

wow, you have gotten some very..... interesting answers. how is this gross? he is your baby! if u wanna shower with him then of course u can, there is nothing gross about that! i showered with my mother until i was about 7. this might only be my oppinion.... but i see absolutely nothing wrong with it. i have a 1 and a half year old daughter and i will take her in the shower with me until she no longer wants to! lol. plus he is a little too young to understand how to properly bathe him self. ignore everyones negative responses. do what u feel is best! good luck!  

Answer 4

if it was me i wouldn't with him, but let him shower on his own with you helping him from outside the shower.

Answer 5

Yes I do, and I dont see what the big problem is. Its YOUR son, and YOU will know when its time to stop. I am shocked all at the people saying No on here

Answer 6

Wow alot of harsh answers, while there's nothing wrong it persay, I would probably start to dwindle the showers together out slowly by now, since he is 5 now and is old enough to know girly bits and boy bits, but he is also old enough to start wondering why Mum and dad are different to him (pubic hair etc), and he could repeat verbally what he sees etc to his school friends. My daughter is 5 also and we no longer shower together, (only just phased it out this year though) and now she wouldn't dare have a shower with me as she is a big girl now and goes to school.. lol. She wouldn't have one with her father pass the age of 2 as she just asked too many questions or would stare so no, time to stop when that happens lol. I think 5 is a good age to stop the communial showers together (younger if opposite gender) and encourage them to go it alone. Everyone is different though, so good luck on deciding when you will stop.

Answer 7

you CAN.

nobody can really tell you that you cant.

but is it acceptable/ appropriate?

i guess that also depends on whose eyes you are looking through.

personally i dont think you should still be showering with him, i think its past the point of acceptable.

anywho, hope this helps.

Answer 8

Here are my thoughts, instead of being worried about the different genders and him questioning, just tell him like it is! When he first questions, answer him honestly, not, don't look or don't worry about that till you're older cause that will make him more curious! Someone might find it disgusting, but in a rush, yes my 4 year old daughter still showers with Daddy. However, she asked questions at least a year ago, we answered and end of story! She doesn't stare or point, or even try to touch my husband's p***s because questions were answered and boundaries were set awhile ago. However, as I said showers with us don't happen regularly, only in rushes or missed bath nights. And in addition to keep the kids (2 and 4) from being annoying in a tight space (playing with shampoo, or pulling them down or slipping), we put a few bath toys in there to keep them occupied while the adult is washing him/herself or the other child! So I personally don't see 5 as bad as long as he's not being overly curious, then start reconsidering.  

Answer 9

uh. Why are you still showering with him.  He is old enough to take a bath or shower without you being naked in the shower with him.  That's gross!  You should have stop showering with him two years ago.  You can stand outside the shower with your clothes on and check him to make sure he washed all of the appropriate areas.

Answer 10

I can't believe the response that said 8 years old!!!!

As much as you love your son, 5 is too old for that!

Answer 11

I still bathe with mine but hes 2.5. He is becoming curious so its coming to a end.Its so much quicker to jump in the tub and bathe together,but I think my husband will be taking over soon.I dont think your a bad mother,we all do things differently.

Answer 12

i think its fine.. but maybe you should try and stop.. like if he is asking to shower with you, then wear a bikini or something.

goodluck

Answer 13

he should be showering his self and taking baths also with bath toys to enhance pouring, cause and effect relations and pretend play. at 5 my kids got thier own self ready for school and we used timers to help keep track of the time to get to the car for school.

Answer 14

If you're asking this quesiton, then you are obviously thinking something is wrong with it (even if a smidgen). If it's questionable to you, don't do it. Otherwise, as long as you and him are comfortable...it's fine.

Answer 15

No...sorry, and mostly because of the s*x difference, he's too aware now of the differences.  He needs to see you act like a lady now, you know?  

Answer 16

I guess I wonder why you would want to.  If you are unsure about it, then you must be somewhat uncomfortable.  I would recommend that you not shower with him anymore.  Its probably better for both of you that way.  I guess technically you can, but I wouldn't recommend it.  Especially nowadays with people's sensitivity to child abuse, and with the prevalence of false allegations.  

Answer 17

theres no law against it!

its really up to you and your son

if he doesnt mind and you dont either go for it

Answer 18

It is your choice, obviously, because you are his mom. Personally, I stopped showering with my son when he was 3 years old. He is now 5 and he still showers with his dad.

Answer 19

yes!! he is your baby boy!! of course you can!! but when he becomes 8 your going to have to stop.

:(

but you can stand outside the bath with clothes on.

Answer 20

My answer is no. I'll tell you why:

Your son has already developed memories. I can remember things from age 3, and I certainly didn't shower with my mother after age 2. I would've found it ok at the time, but around 5 it needs to stop. Kids do talk to their friends. It's funny..I remember a particular conversation from 5 years old with my neighbor about taking a bath. You don't want your son telling his friends about your and your husbands body..And by next year, even your son will find it weird.

Putting him in the tub and staying next to the tub is fine for a few more years. Getting in with him is crossing the line though.

--EDIT--

Even with his father it's inappropriate. Honestly..I'd prefer mommy over daddy at that age.

Answer 21

hi there, my son is also almost 5, and until i read this question i was happily bathing and showering with him. my little boy was borne of me, & we all all enjoy the bond that motherhood brings. he is taught respect and modesty, he is being taught about 'nasty things' and i hope i am doing all i can at this stage in his life to educate him about the rights and wrongs in life. i think parents should make the most of the toddler years, the closeness and the love because all too often it changes throughout the teenage years. i also belive that there is too much political correctness in our society, caused by the real wrongdoers, like perverts and the like. if good , loving parents bathe with thier toddlers, i do not see what the problem is. it is everyones individual opinion, i will continue to bathe with my boy untill my own mature instinct tells me otherwise.

Answer 22

If you keep your clothes on!  He's going to remember and do you really want him remembering what you look like naked?  He'll probably need a therapist in about 20 years! How would you like to remember your parents naked?

Answer 23

That's about when you want to cut it off.

I don't remember much from before I was 5, and I think most people are the same way. But after 5, I remember stuff that haunts me to this day (d**n you, John C.).

I've got two boys and they both developed certain "curiosities" at that age. It's about the right time to push for modesty. You can still shower him, but from outside the shower.

Jim the Yooper

Proud dad of three

Answer 24

I agree.  I think its okay with his father, but NOT for his mother.  Eventually, though, showering with his father will have to end too though.

Answer 25

My son will be 5 in November. He takes a shower with his dad pretty often and occasionally hops in the shower with me. He's a busy kid and doesn't want to waste his time taking a bath most of the time. He mostly plays around with the water filling a cup and holds still long enough for me to help shampoo his hair and rinse him off. It's totally innocent and I don't see what the problem is.

Once he's old enough to shower by himself and actually get clean my husband and I will probably stop showering with him. Until then I think it's fine. If anything you're teaching him not to be shameful of his body. Taking a shower has nothing to do with his sexual identity unless you make it out to be true. It's a shower where you get clean. I don't think parading around the house is appropriate but a shower is just a shower unless you make it out to be something else.  

Answer 26

is he is in school cause what happens if his friends ask him about bathing well his teacher and she says oh i take one with my mom. sorry to say but most kids would make fun of him. my mom has done daycare for over 25 years she had one mom that wouldn't stop it and went till she had her daughter and then still took a shower with both kids. she stopped after he went to school and he started asking about things. he is taking in more then u think. he knows he is different then mommy and that might scare him. and he might start asking question would u want him to ask his teacher if she looks like mom when she showers. that right there would get both of u into trouble. i would just stop if i were u i don't plan on letting my son start with me. he is only one he love bath time and it is only him in the tub now if he gets a sister they will share till he starts asking questions and see that sister is different then we will stop. which most of the time that is at three.

Answer 27

I actually just posted a question very similar to yours except the child in question was my 4yr old daughter.  I received a more positive response than you have and I think perhaps it is because of the gender difference. I personally would not bathe with my 4 year old if she was a boy, but I wouldn't see anything wrong with his father showering with him.  My daughter's father did not bathe with her, but he could barely stomach a diaper change.  I don't think there is anything perverse about what you are doing.  I also think different families have different standards for privacy.  In my family we all wore pajamas at night, my mother wore a robe over her nightgown, and my father wore a pajama set.  As I got older I was shocked to see my friends fathers walking around shirtless or in boxers and a shirt.  but this where the comfort level comes in.  My dad took me in the shower with him until I was two, but my mother never bathed with me or took me into the bathroom with her.  So I think when one of you starts to feel uncomfortable would be the appropriate time to stop.  Here is a link to my question if you would like to read it http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 28

if hes socially mute and such, then he won't know better... but id say no. Its one thing to check on his baths or something, but youu naked as well at age 5 is not really a bright idea.

Answer 29

Gtao please believe me when I say there are a bunch of lunatics answering your question.  They have all escaped from the asylum and are taking turns to answer your question.  

Your son is 5.  He is just a little boy.  You are his mum.  There is nothing wrong with having a shower with him.  Its not perverted or twisted or sick.  Its normal.  When he wants to shower by himself you will know as he will probably tell you or start to become uncomfortable. Until then just relax and have some fun time splashing around in the shower or bath with your little boy.  I bet he loves it.  

Answer 30

I would say no but this does not mean you can not assist him. Instead of showering with him, I suggest you stand outside the shower with clothes on, to assist your son if need be.Since we've all been there but me in particularly I found washing my hair a struggle at that age. After a while of standing outside and assisting, start to ease out of it and let your son do certain things himself.

Answer 31

i think you need to slowly stop showering with him before he gets too attatched to that idea. definitely by the time hes 6 or 7 no more mommy in the shower...sorry.