My son is almost 9 and doesn't want to see his father for many reasons, what can I do?

Question

My son is almost 9 years old. He didn't meet his father until he was 6 and a half. There is a court order for visitation which we agreed on during mediation but a lot has occurred with my son while in his father's care during visits. My son doesn't want to see him, is scared to death of him and his wife. I have been more than fair with the time he has with him. My son has told me about some things that have gone on in the house. I have already had to call the police to talk with him and they believe him. They also believe me. There is definite mental and emotional abuse, coaching and bribing my son to want to live full time with him and the constant threat of no child support being paid to me as well as being taken back to court and the works. I fully and financially support my son by working a full time job, he lives with me full time aside from the visits. I'll admit, I am doing the best I can as a mother and want to protect my son. I have made some mistakes in the past but never have I abused or neglected my son. He is a smart and well-behaved boy and when he's home with me, he is happy. What can I do? He has told his father he doesn't want to see him or live with him, ever. Thank you.

Answer 1

Until you can get a court order (it would help if the police would back you) saying that he cannot have any sort of custody there isn't much you can do.  If there is a current court order in place saying he has custody rights and you bar him from seeing the child, you run the risk of having him taken from you.

Get a lawyer, go to court immediately and try to stop him from seeing your son.  Check to see if in the state you live in if your son is old enough to give his $.02 to the proceedings.  Good luck.

Answer 2

You need to contact social services, and go back to court with this info before he gets hurt.

Answer 3

well he does have to have his dad in his life. visitations are in order but he doesn't deserve full custody of the kid. he should just keep supporting his child via child support. he hasn't been in the kid's life since birth so, tell the court that he hasn't seen his dad until he was 6 and that his father was a neglect the first few years of this life.

if he is making g*y jokes, and touching him like that. that man doesn't need custody. he needs to be in a jail cell.

Answer 4

if they treat him badly he shouldn't have to visit but since it's court ordered you have to take immediate legal action. but i think they'd come to the decision that he shouldn't visit to just be treated badly and he is old enough to know the way he's being treated is wrong and i don't blame him for wanting nothing to do with them.  i compliment you for being a hard-working loving mother.  seek legal advice and act soon.  also sorry to bring this up but make a will so if anything happens to you, you have a say about who cares for your son.  seek legal advice about that also as i don't know anymore except that I wouldn't want him to end up right where he is scared to be.  good luck and i will remember your family in my prayers sincerely.

Answer 5

unfortunately, you can't go against a court order. If possible, I would document everything that he can and also get him into counseling. Those records will help if his dad tried to take you to court for custody. Make sure you have it known that he isn't paying child support/medical/dental care for your son that you are. That will be in your favor. Most of all, don't talk bad about his dad in front of or to him. He is seeing what he is really like and they are playing a mean mind game on him. get him into counseling. It will help him now and in the future.