My son is amazing at dancing he is 13, but he is really shy to dance in front of family and friends.. why?

Question

i caught him dancing in his bedroom and i was outside and the door was a little bit open and thats how i saw him, but he did not see me and if he did he would say "go away" and start feeling shy and smiling.. please answer this question please please

Answer 1

Most likely the "go away" attitude is him trying to cover up his nervousness. Kids/teens don't really like showing their talents/skills in front of friends and family for fear of rejection or not absolute approval. They fear that their family/friends may be critical. If parents show excitement and approval, teens think that family have to respond that way (I mean, would you dare say that he's bad?). Even scarier to teens are that parents might not approve or think they are great.

Another fear that I've had myself and I know teens feel is embarrassment. I already felt uneasy when my mother watched me doing ballet (like on parents' week at the ballet studio) because I feel scared to be less than perfect. However, the more embarrassing act is when the parents know their children are talented and brag to family friends or badger their children to show off their talents.

Plus, your son is 13. Its the beginning of his teen years. Aside from embarrassment (which he feels easily at his age), he could be afraid that others think that dancing is girly and that he might be deemed as such. Its tougher to be a guy dancer and have great self esteem than it is to be a female dancer. I've had a guy friend who grew up dancing and who was taunted and teased about his dancing. Teenage kids are mean.

Teenagers at your son's age (and older even) have so much fear of acceptance/approval/etc and are very easily embarrassed. It takes all the time in the world to convince them that they're great... but only a few words and a couple seconds to destroy all that confidence and to rekindle that fear and embarrassment.

Answer 2

I'm the same way I'm 14 and I have danced on stage lots of times and I'm not afraid or shy but dancing i front of family is different I can't really explain I used to think it was because I know them and if I mess up they can make fun of me forever strangers can only make fun of me in till I leave class but now I don't know what it is but I'm starting to feel better about dancing in front of them now so maybe he will feel better about it when he's my age good luck =^..^= p.s what kind of dance does he do ???

Answer 3

He might just have a small comfort zone. I LOVE my family and friends, but I cannot dance in front of them either, unless they come and see me perform. Whenever I'm out of a dance environment (ex: a studio, a stage, a dark nightclub, etc.) I get shy and stiff and don't want to dance. If he's shy, its just something thats out of his comfort zone.  Maybe also, he doesn't feel like he's a good dancer and feels like he'd only embarass himself or look silly dancing in front of you guys. Sorry on behalf of the shy :)

Answer 4

He might not be sure how you will react to his dancing.  Maybe he thinks you will think his dancing is just silly.  Give him some time, when he is comfortable, he'll show you.  All you can do is encourage him but don't try to put him on the spot in front of anyone, he might react angrily.

-B

Answer 5

Kids are shy to do anything in front of their parents and family friends at that age. They may think they're not good enough yet and get embaressed when asked to do something on the spot. He'll grow more confident the better he gets so just don't push it. Ask him if he'd like dance lessons or something, then he'll know you're there to support him.

Answer 6

Have you ever thought: "maybe your teenage son is embarassed by his skill?" teenagers can be cruel, and laugh at kids if they're different, so maybe he's just cautious because he doesn't want to get laughed at!

Answer 7

Yeah I feel uncomfortable in front of family and friends, but I don't mind dancing on stage or during dance class. When family comes to see me during dance class I always mess up. It doesn't really make any sense to me either..

Another reason that he might not want to is because he's a boy, and more than half of dancers are girls, so he might think that people would think differently of him.