My son is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do!?

Question

My son, who will be 3 next month, is driving me absolutely insane! He doesn't listen to anything I say, but he'll listen to what his daddy says and that REALLY irks me. I feel that if he listens to him, he's capable of listening to me. It's almost like he just ignores me. I've tried giving him timeouts, but he just gets off the chair and swats at me. This morning is a great example of his behavior.... he kept hitting at the window, I told him to stop, yet he kept doing it. I put him in timeout and he kept trying to get down. I eventually had enough and firmly told him to STOP(!), he proceeded to kick me in the throat. That's when I just had enough and let him get off the couch and as soon as he got down, he smacked at me. He yells at me and throws fits of anger when he doesn't get his way.... But he only acts this way towards me.

What shall I do?

Answer 1

I know you probably live in a state that doesn't condone spankings, well it sounds like your little man does not respect you and the quickest way to get that respect is to let him know who's boss.  Don't beat him or anything, but a belt on his behind or legs will definitely get his attention and he will think twice before he disrespects you again.  Bible says:  Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Answer 2

Sounds like you are one of the "I will not hit my child" kind of mothers. You might need to give the little darling a pain reference to remember when he gets an order by you.

Take the little fu... darling to the wood shed and whack the fire out of him and he'll learn fast who's the boss.

Edit: I knew I would ruffle a few feathers with this one.

Answer 3

I think unfortunately he knows that he'll get away with it in the end with you (like he did in the example you gave). If a kid knows he will get away with something he'll push the boundaries and keep doing so. I bet it's different with his dad...

As hard as it sounds, you have to start going all the way with him. If you put him in time-out and he doesn't stay there, then you have to put him back there without a word until he stays there for the length of time you have decided (I guess 2 or 3 minutes). Then, you need to explain to him why he was there.

Unless you go all the way with whatever punishment you decide on, your son will know that you are not serious and will not take you seriously.

You have got to do something now, he is only three and he seems quite out of control already.

I'm attaching an interesting link for you about toddlers boys.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Put him in solitude! Just find a room, or some kind of area that he cannot escape and put him in there for like 5 minutes everytime he does something bad. Make sure there is absoultely nothing in there, just pitch black darkness. Then when you open the door, ask him if he wants to say sorry, if he does then let him go, but if he doesn't then put him back in for another 5 minutes. Darkness doesn't really appeal to children, so this is a good punishment. It'll scare him a little, but it won't cause any actual harm.

Answer 5

you have to be really persistant and make sure he knows your in charge, you could try having "his daddy" tell him that he needs to listen to you, you could try once daily behavorial pills if hes really hyper or obnoxious. but being persistant is really the key

Answer 6

Consistency is very important to little boys they thrive on knowing exactly where their boundaries are and will push and push until they figure it out.  Bringing up Boys by Dr Dobson has some very good information on how boys are hardwired.  One piece they talk about is toddlers acting like the male in their life and they tend to go through a stage where Mama isn't number one in their books for a while.  He has just figured out that you are different than Daddy and him, so your husband needs to back up your authority (and give you affirmations in front of your son for being a woman and what you add to the mix).  It is just a stage most boys go through but one that can be shortened with the right attitudes and a good time for your husband and your son to do some male bonding and in doing so it gives the opportunity for your husband to teach your son the proper way to treat women by example.

Answer 7

He's learning that this behavior is okay from somewhere...is his daddy abusive towards you?

If not, what you need to do is be more firm with the child and actually discipline him when he behaves badly. Try taking things away, not giving treats, etc. If all else fails (i know some people will disagree), sometimes spanking as a last resort will get through to a child.

There was a mother who i watched with her two children and instead of being the one in control of them and being firm with them, she would whine to them, "c'mon stop...!" which children really don't respond to. Her two kids were probably two and three years old at the time.

You just need to be firm and make sure that your child knows that you are in control. As long as the child knows he can get away with kicking you, hitting you and not listening to without getting punished for it, he will do that. Best of luck