My son is going to be graduating from basic training I don't get along w/my x and I don't know what to do.?

Question

My son of course invited me;mom and his father to his graduation from basic training from the Army. His father and I do not get along. I found out he is going to be there for both family day before grad. and for grad. He will hog my son. I have to drive 8 hours to his graduation and I want to see my son so bad. But I don't want all the drama. How do I get around this?

Answer 1

You just go and support your son.

This isn't about you or his dad. This is about his special day. So don't worry about who is going. Your son invited you for a reason. Just because you both don't get along DOESN'T MEAN it won't kill you both to pretend for a day that you two do.

Don't put your son through what my husband had to go through his family.

So just say your peace with your son and let him know you will be on your best behavior. So if any drama is started, it obviously wouldn't of been from you.

Answer 2

Although I completely understand that some people are plain rude and obnoxious or self-centered... you just have to remember that this grand event is only for your son, not you and your ex.

Also I can't see how the 8hours has to be taken into consideration. This is your son's big day.

Be there for your son and don't care who's doing what else. Be the bigger person, be cheery and happy. Remember that it takes two to tango. This applies to any drama that may happen.

All the best.

Answer 3

This special day has NOTHING to do with you and your ex.  I'm sorry you don't get along (I feel you there; the very thought of my ex-boyfriend makes me want to throw up!!).  I suggest you either call or email your ex in advance, and politely confirm that.  Tell him you really want to keep this day great and happy for your son.  It'd be great if you two could push your feelings to the back burner to share in your son's achievement, maybe all go to a celebration dinner together.  It's not that long, really!!  :)

Good luck!

Answer 4

First i feel your pain i can't stand my ex.  However this is your sons day not yours or your ex's.  Someone needs to be the better person, and choose your battles.  You don't want to create an uncomfortable situation for your son or make yourself look the fool.  Be there for your son and enjoy the accomplishment that he has and relish that you were at least half responsible for the fine young man that stands before you.  

Let your ex be the ***.  If the situation gets out of hand then you could always walk away.  But don't not go just because of your ex, its not fair to your son.

Answer 5

Stop thinking of how you're going to feel!  You're going for YOUR son, not to stress about your ex.  If you see him, be polite and say hi.  Avoid him for any other reason than to talk about your son.  Your son will want to see his Mom too!  The more you act like you're having the time of your life, the better you'll be able to handle it.  Do you have a male friend you can take with you to feel more comfortable?  

Answer 6

It's not about you two -- it about your son.   Go to support your son and let him know how proud you are of him.   Agree to be civil to each other and keep the tension down.

Answer 7

This is a huge day for your son.  Put your relationship with his dad behind you as much as you can.  Grin and bear it.  You will be so proud of yourself if you pull it off drama free and so will your boy.  You can do it!

Answer 8

Well, the first thing you and your ex can do is GROW UP!!!

Answer 9

I dont get along with my ex all the time but guess what be the better person you are going there to see your son not your ex. he went to basic training as a boy and will be a man when you see him. he is ran through the ringer once he gts off the bus. ( hubby a drill sargent) they suffer lack of sleep long PT and what ever else they go through. some of these boys dont even make it through basic. you are also jumping to a conculision that your ex will hog your son. you have put yourself in that mindset for it to happen, so once you see your son you will only see what you want to see. you are going about it the wrong way. with you alreadythingking about this are you not already causeing drama. i am sure if you have brought this up to us you hav spoke to your son about it. he has not seen you for weeks and i am sure he will have more of an understanding about things then you may see. he will want to spend time with you both. he has a long road ahead of him. rember this is about him not you not your ex but him. my ex and i fight but when it comes to our child we buck up and do what is right for her. be the better person. your son needs you his mother not drama. let his father shoo himself in the foot if he wants to act like a fool dont shoot yourself i the foot thinking that he will act a certain way

Answer 10

just take the higher road and say hi how s everything and say alright gotta go , and avoid him the whole time, make sure you show him your having fun and even though you feel like slapping the living lights out of him dont, make it about your son if you could carry a friend for emotional support as well as a backup incase  something was to happen !