My son is graduating from the basic training for the army should I go?

Question

He was living w/me and treated me horribly. He wasn't listening to rules and became a complete pain in the butt. It was very difficult to live w/him. He first said he wanted to live w/his dad and I told him no but the more of a pain he became getting into alcohol and not listening to rules and trying drugs I had had enough so I made him go live w/his dad. He wanted to live there anyway. Well he never calls, nor emails, or writes until he got into boot camp and I have received two letters the first three weeks he was there. But I heard from his grandparents (x's parents) when his graduation is. My son has not personally invited me. And I don't know if I will go unless he calls and personally invites me. It's over a 6 hour drive to get there anyway, so i don't really want to do the drive.

NOW don't get me wrong I am proud of my son and I love him. I just don't know what to do.

Answer 1

Don't bother with that attitude!

Answer 2

hes your son no matter what. go and support him. if you dont i have a feeling youll regret it. and maybe itll help you to begin to repair the relationship. at least h**l know you care

Answer 3

You should go, it's your son. This may be the beginning of him growing into a better person. Let him know that you love him and that you are proud of him.  

Answer 4

Go, he'll always remember this. Wipe the slate clean and start over with him. He has changed and you might like what you see. Good luck.

Answer 5

yes.  He probably realizes by now that he could have had it a whole lot worse and wants to put that stuff behind him and have a better relationship with you.  You sent a snotty teen-ager to basic training.  Don'y be surprised if you go to his graduation and find out he has turned into a really good and honorable man.    

Answer 6

even if your son was a compleate pain in the butt, you should still love him no matter what. and apparently he wanted to do something good for his country, he's your son. it sounds to me like he's made changes in his life, and he's trying to become a better person. he might not have personally invited you because he might have been afraid to call you because he treated you so horribly and he probably doesn't know if you would want to talk to him. i say you try to call him, and have a long talk with him. see how he is doing and how basic training went, and tell him how proud you are of him. drive down there and you should get him some kind of present too. so what if it's a six hour drive, you should be willing to drive 10 billion miles for any of your kids if it was important to them.

Answer 7

Yes you should go.  You still need to show your son that you love and support him.  You should show him how proud you are of him because not everyone makes it through boot camp.  He may not show it, but it would hurt him if you are not there.  Have you ever tried to call him.  Relationships cannot be one sided.  You have to make an effort too.

Answer 8

I think you should still go. The army probably really changed him, as it does with almost everyone. Who knows he could have turned his act around.

Answer 9

GOOO!!! show him you still care and that you will always love him no matter waht he does!!! he will regret not inviting you if you don't go. later he will be so happy you came even though he didn't invite you.

bring him a little present or something and when you see him say i'm so proud of you!!!! and just talk to him. make him feel loved by his mother!

=] good luck!

Answer 10

yes he is still your son just kick him out of your house not going would be very stupid you should be proud of him.

Answer 11

hellllllooooo yes you should go, it's your son!!! it's going to be the proudest day of his life, you should go even if you arent invited

Answer 12

He is still a kid and has a lot of growing up to do.  You are the adult so do the right thing and support him.  He needs positive reinforcement when he acts responsibly.  If he doesn't appreciate you being there now, he will later in life (when he looks back upon what a putz he was) and he will thank you.  If you don't go, you will live to regret it.  A six hour drive will be nice.  Load an icechest and enjoy the scenery.  Life is an adventure.  P.S.  It is hard to make it thru boot camp and a lot of people don't make it.

Answer 13

YES! GO!  You might meet a new son.   The Army does change people...sometimes they're just the same jerks they were before boot...but more often than not, they change.  I teach Sunday school and over the years, some of 'my kids' have gone into the service.  One girl joined the USMC...she was a real brat..according to her dad, but she was a really changed WOMAN when she came home from boot.

The other boy also joined the USMC, and a retired USMC officer at church and I made a surprise trip to his boot graduation.  He was so surprised and pleased, he broke down in tears...and so  did Ben and I.

We were so proud of him.  He is now on his 2nd enlistment and second tour in Iraq and earned the Bronze Starjust a few weeks ago, along with several other awards since joining.  He is not the snotty, smart alec kid we knew when he was growing up.  

So, give the kid a chance.

Good luck!

Answer 14

Children are not always perfect.  Neither are parents.  Problems arise and have to be worked through.  It sounds like your son has turned his life around somewhat and is doing better.  As a result of his life getting back on track, you should be at his Army graduation to congratulate him and show him love and support.  I think he would be thrilled to see you there.  It might even be a new start for the both of you.  Good luck.

Answer 15

You should go cause bootcamp probably straighten his attitude out! I'm in theMarines and it straighten me out on how i treated my mom.

Answer 16

You should pick up the phone and call him.. Sure he was getting into some bad stuff and treated you bad but hes still your son! Youll never get this time back that you havent spoken to him or seen him. Maybe hes mad because he feels like you just gave up on him and sent him to live with his father.. Call him up!

Answer 17

I would go and support him because you love him silly! Its your responsibility as the parent to fix the problems. He is still your son.

My unprofessional opinion on the matter is to try and understand him better, relate to him and not mother him too much during this time. He is learning to be an adult and that might mean for him to rebel against what his rents might believe to be right. He has to experience things his own way. All you can do is support him for doing the things that you do believe that he is doing right and tell him how you feel about the things that he is not doing right. All you can do is tell him how you feel. That is the only control you have unfortunately. :( I am so sorry that you are going through that though. It sounds to me like he may have some more internal issues that he is struggling with.

Answer 18

you should go..

Answer 19

if you love your son you should support him and let him know you still care about him. i think it would mean a lot to him if you showed up unsuspectingly and told him you were very proud of him for making the changes he has made.

Answer 20

he is your son for crying out loud, show him that you love him and that you are proud of him, (actions speak louder than words). he id doing something for himself, and maybe this is the change that he needed to start to mend your relationship.

you are the adult here start acting like it....

Answer 21

I think for a basic training graduation there are so many invites, so you will need to find out if you are invited.  If grandparents say yes, then you should go.  If they are unsure and you have no way of finding out yourself, then I would suggest getting your son a card and a gift congratulating him.  Send it to him and be sure to let him know you are proud of him and you love him.  He may need to know that.



I'm always surprised when troubled teens and even adults join the military when they are being unruly.  Your son was into drugs and alcohol.  I would have more strongly suggested rehab for him then a training camp that promotes war and fighting.....

Answer 22

To get respect you must first respect yourself & others. Is it really that big of a decision? So you were not invited. YOU ARE THE PARENT!!! He has made a accomplishment in his life. Take one little day & show him you are proud of him. Dont show up & rant about how happy you are that he has changed. Tell him you are happy for what he has accomplished. He knows his past. He lived it.

  You dident mention if you wrote him back. Everything in your question is directed back to you. If you arent going for him then dont go. If you can show him you are truly proud of him go. Its that simple

Answer 23

my soon to be ex's brother joined the army and he was an a$$ b4 and he came out no different worse actually however my sister in law's son joined and he came completely different for the better so there is no way to say how ur son will be and i really dont know what to say except that you should do whatever feels right to you good luck

Answer 24

I know this will seem mean but your som is an adult. and should be treated like an adult. Any guy that doesn't invite their own mother to something like that is a real jerk. I think that you should talk with him and tell him that not inviting you was hurtful and you thought that boot camp might have changed him but it didn't. Then again you said it was a 6 hour drive and you didn't want o make that drive anyways. I am 27 old graduate student who decided to get a measliy certificate for Medical coding and Billing, my mother lives a 13 hour drive away and still came, I couldn't keep her away. I am not comparing my mother to you but you hacve to realize that maybe you haven't been the best mother either like he hasn't been the best son. It is always the parents responsibility to mend any fences in a parent child relationship he is your adult son. I say go and try to make the relationship better.