My son is starting to run the show?

Question

He is 16 mo.s old. He is starting to get a big attitude, he throws more fits and has when he doesnt get his way he screams at us, this happens all the time. We never hit him, but do discipline. Its just not working the way it used to, he has been so perfectly behaved until now. Maybe I just need to change his environment? We stay home alot. He doesnt respect his mommy anymore. I am looking to go back to work but cannot leave him in daycare with this behavior. Help!!!!!

Answer 1

Daycare might be good for him. I just posted a question similar to this one...about my bf's 2yr old son. He acts like this around us but they say he is pretty good at daycare and the only time they really have problems is if he's fighting over a toy with some other kid, so maybe it just might help...i dunno

Answer 2

Find where the Positive Discipline classes or workshops are held. They're often provided through Adult Education or a Family Resource Center. You'll find your control there!

Handfull, huh? It'll get better . . .

Best wishes..

Answer 3

When I was taking one of my "how to be a teacher" classes I was taught something that has been so important in raising my son and dealing with any one else's kids.  Are you ready to read it?  *You can give kids control on your terms or they will take it on theirs*.  This is so true, even with young toddlers.  

First, kids just test their limits.  It's what they do.  They are learning what their limits really are and what happens to them if they go beyond them.  Once they see what happens they decide if it's worth it or not.  Some times they're willing to deal with the consequences and don't mind them, so those limits are always going to be pushed past.  Knowing that, and knowing that they will take control on their terms if you don't give it, you get to find a balance.  

With young toddlers it's hard, but give him tons of choices about everything.  Give him choices about which cup to drink from, which colored fork to use, which shirt to wear, which toy to take in the car, where he plays, what he plays with, what he eats, maybe even where he eats.  As long as you don't care either way, give him a choice.  This is your assertive part.  

When you're in the middle of a behavior problem don't make a big deal about it.  Set your limit and verbally tell him.  Give choices inside of the limit, then enforce the limit.  For us with our 16 month old one limit is no climbing onto the desk or table.  When he starts climbing onto a chair we remind him of the limit (You can't climb on the table.).  Then we give him some choices.  Often I'll move the chair he's trying to climb on into the middle of the room and tell him that if he wants to climb he can climb on the chair their or on the sofa in the living room.  He gets to choose if he still wants to climb in the chair since it isn't near the table any more, or if he wants to climb on the sofa.  Sometimes I'll pull two chairs out and let him pick which one he wants to climb on.  So, I've set the limit and I've given choices inside of the limit.  

Now I get to enforce my limit.  If he starts pushing the chair back to the table so that he can climb on the table I tell him again that he can't climb on the table, then I enforce it.  Since he can't handle just climbing on the chairs, he needs to go find something else to do.  If all he wants to do is climb on the table, I'll turn the chairs upside down or push them up against the wall, then take him to a different room or give him something else to do.  We enforce our limits with a "I know you want to climb on the table, but it's dangerous so you can't.  I'm sorry you can't handle playing on the chairs.  Let's find something else to do and we'll try it again later" attitude.  Yes, I actually tell him that too.  

I'm sure your son does respect you.  He's just testing his limits and trying to make sense of them.  Some things he probably just doesn't understand why he can't do it.  Other things he might be getting mixed signals on.  Either way, it's not that he doesn't respect you.  He's just wanting to explore and make sense of everything.  Be firm, be fair, be consistent, and set your limits, give choices inside of those limits, and enforce the limits.

Answer 4

My cousin son did that

I was watching him one day, and he did his screaming and yelling

I looked at him, and said I could do that better

I did it better

He never pull that on me again

He did with his parents, but if he saw me, he would not

I use this trick on my own daughter the first time she tried that

My Aunt used that on me

It had works

Show him you can do it better

Answer 5

start teaching him whats good and bad. give him a time outt. start at 1 minute the first time then each time he gets in time out again add a minute.

Answer 6

It is the start of the 'terrible twos' which start usually in the 2nd half of the 2nd year, not after the bd.  So this is a toddler!  

It is important to keep consistent, stick to the same rules every day.  Enforce them with various methods of discipline - not everything is a time out and sometimes just removing him and distracting will work.  It is constant and repetitive but it works.

If you have to put him in daycare, you will probably be shocked at how quickly he follows their rules.  The caretakers don't have time to administer 12 different methods of discipline so they enforce the same rules the same way for every child.  They learn very fast what gets results and what doesn't.  Also the other children will reprimand him if he is not taking turns or grabbing or whatever.  THey learn from each other too.

Answer 7

You're Right he doesn't Respect you.You may not believe in spanking (I assume that is what you mean by saying you don't hit him) but spanking is part of bringing up a well disciplined child...one that listens and doesn't SCREAM at his parents, if you think his screaming at you now is bad just wait until he gets a little older, he will be completely out-of-control if you don't get a handle on it now...Swat His Bottom when he gets a big attitude or screams at you..if you don't do it NOW you will regret it later!

Answer 8

Welcome to toddlerhood.

Don't change his environment, don't coddle him - use time out!  If he throws a fit walk away, or put him in time out until he calms down.  If he does not respect you it's because you are not respecting him - give him a chance to calm down and get his grace back, and then deal with him.  

In my house with my very temperamental baby if he screams it's instant time out, sometimes he has to sit where he is until he calms down.  Just because he is upset does not mean we need to be upset too.  Psychologists call toddlers "little cavemen" because their emotions are so strong and overwhelming, your job is to teach him to be in control of himself and not let the emotions take over - which means teaching him ways of calming down, and I don't mean talking to him.

And maybe you don't need to put him in daycare, perhaps you need a break from him!  Leave him with his dad for an hour or so every once in a while and go do something for yourself without him.