My son snapped after being bullied all year by the same kid today?

Question

and got kicked out of the aftercare program. This school has permitted him to be bullied all year, despite my complaints. Am I wrong to let my son get away with chasing his bully and scaring him? I think it's prime time it finally happened that he stood up for himself. I am even considering getting him some self-defense classes.

Answer 1

My son was also bullied and like your son, he finally beat  up the bully and got in trouble at school! Tell your son the same thing I told my son "You don't have to stand tall, but you HAVE to stand up!"  Let your son know that it is just fine to defend himself but not to pick fights. Self defens classes will teach him the discipline and confidence he will need to get  through this. Oh, and uh...hooray for him!! :-)

Answer 2

I wouldnt punish him either.  He doesnt deserve to be bullied, and thats the only way its going to stop.  I would also get him in some self defense classes if he is interested in them.

Answer 3

I wouldnt punish him and let him know it is ok to stand up for himself,self defense classes is a good idea,also make sure he knows the difference in standing up for himself and actually just fighting to be fighting.

Answer 4

GOOD FOR HIM!!

Funny how the school didn't punish the bully but the victim instead, huh?

This is normal for schools. If they punish the bully they will not get money from NCLB.

They punish the victim instead becuase they will not have to write out disclipline reports,, because he did nothing wrong.

So with no disclipline reports, there is no proof of bad behaviors, so they can get money!!

Ask the school WHY did they not punish the bully all year and are punishing your son for defending himself??

Don't punish your son, be PROUD of him!!

Answer 5

I bet some people on here are going to tell you yes because it's promoting being a bully but I don't think you're wrong. I would be estatic. You here all the time about kids hurting themselves after being bullied for so long. If it was my child I might even take him to the toy store.

Answer 6

Honest answer here:  If you have known about this situation and done nothing but complain, you are partially responsible for leaving him to be bullied.

Snapping, chasing a bully and scaring him is not the answer.  He needs to learn to protect himself rather than bully back.

Answer 7

Get him some fun age appropirote katate classes but only if he wants to. Hope this helped!

-Tara

Answer 8

Id mention to them your possibly going to sue them and see what happens. They might change their mind :)

Answer 9

I think that is good that he stood up for himself. Like a few said don't punish him but tell him that there is a line. I put my son in wrestling so that he can do something to protest himself without getting into to much trouble and without hurting them to much. Self-defense will be good!

Answer 10

Honestly, I am in agreement with you. It might not be the 'correct answer', or the popular one. But I always tell my kids that although violence doesn't solve anything, you are absolutely allowed to defend yourself.

I would go speak to the principle, and remind him of your earlier complaints. What was your son supposed to do, if the school couldn't do anything to resolve the situation?

I wouldn't punish him, but you should sit him down and talk about what happened, and alternate ways he might have been able to handle it, perhaps he got a bit carried away himself. Talking it out might help prevent future problems.

Answer 11

Tough spot to be in. I was bullied as a teen something awful & I will admit I had some pretty sick "day dreams" about what I would have liked to have done to these kids.

To this day at 32 I have awful self esteem and scars inside from the teasing and taunting.

I'd sit down and talk with your son about what he did. You didn't give details of what he did. You said "chasing his bully and scaring him". I see nothing wrong with running after a kid. Kids do that all the time. But if he was carrying a huge stick yelling threats at him that is over board.

You can talk to your son about the right way to react and the bad way to react. If you haven't suggest he goes to an area where teachers, adults and other people are in charge so he is in the eyes of adults at all times.

Also I'd go to the this "after school program" and give them a piece of my mind. It isn't fair that your son was bullied for this long and is now kicked out. You may want to scare them and remind them that you could sue for the lack of CARE your son got. You left your son in their care and he was not cared for so he HAD to take into his own hands. So let them know they are lucky you are not pressing charges. It is THEIR fault they were not taking care of your son. If you want look up proper law "talk" to you, just to put this fear into them. Maybe you complaining to them will help protect another child.

Next I'd say be thankful your son is out of this place if he isn't happy and doesn't feel safe.

I agree with the self defense class. This will help improve his self esteem and he'll feel better about himself.

Let him know he is loved and that you are not mad at him. But remind him that he should NEVER EVER sink to the level of a bully.

Your son may be to young to understand this but read my story of how I handled my bullies as a teen:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article...

I am not sure this will work with males though. But it may show your son that you don't need to exchange anger for anger. Also it will help him understand what bullies usually don't like themselves and hurt people because they hurt.

Answer 12

Put him in self defense class and complain to the principle. This happened to me. I had a bully that would toucher me (it went beyond hitting, he was putting spiders and snakes down my pants and in my book bag. I'm deathly afraid of both) in middle school. He was on my bus and the bus driver wouldn't stop him and every day I would walk off the bus and complain about him. By the end of the year I was so tired of no one doing anything I did it my self. The school wanted ME expelled from the county school system for what happened.(I may have taken it a tad to far). My mom went down there had them pull my file and look at every single time I complained, and look at what the school did to protect me. She then ask the principle what would he have done in my situation. I did everything I was suppose to do (report it every day he did it, never fight back, never encourage) and the bulling go worse and worse. The principle said she was right, it is the schools fault for not listening to the hundreds of complaints (this went on for 2 years so there were HUNDREDS of complains) he let me go with out punishment, and I went to a new school the next year. The student that was bulling me was going to high school the following year, so he went with 2 years of bulling on his record.

The point is if you point out it was the schools fault, they will reinstate your son and take action against the bully. If the principle won't acknowledge it, then go to the school board. I say this because, most of the shootings in schools happened because a student was sick and tired of being picked on. If the school won't do anything about it, then the school board needs to know so they can correct the situation.

Answer 13

karate lessons or taekwondo lessons........

Answer 14

Alot of schools take the passive route unless the kids are irratating the teachers....theyve really started to fail the kids when it comes to discipline, then they try to blame the parents....they have them longer during the day then us....the only thing you can do is encourage him to stand up for himself because the bully wont stop  and if the principal dosnt like it point out her way of just ignoring the situation didnt work.....dont let them make you feel guilty for teaching your son self respect

Answer 15

rock on good for him

Answer 16

Everyone should be able to stand up for themselves. as long as he doesn't start the fights. I would be really proud if my son stood up for himself. Even if it meant getting kicked out. it builds self esteem. karate is good for kids.

Answer 17

Good for him!!!

My son was being bullied and we told him if he was physically attacked he could fight back and not be in trouble with us but he had to understand that he would have to accept the consequences at school.

Personally i think your son did the right thing.

Answer 18

My son was bullied by the same kid for 3 yrs. He had his head slammed up against a bus window, was hit, kicked, etc... all the time. I contacted the bus and the school and thankfully they worked with me - I told them they needed to keep these two separated. I said my son probably wasn't innocent, but since "Matthew" was older - I held him accountable.

I haven't told my son not to fight back, but to always try to work it out. In the summer last year, "Matthew" came after him again while on the playground. My son had his skateboard and he picked it up and chased the kid down acting like he was going to smack him with it. "Matthew" has since been really nice and they've gotten along.

Fighting back isn't always the best answer - but sometimes, after boys fight, it's done. My husband has several friends whom he faught with at school - once.

I wish you and your son all the best - no one should be bullied.

Answer 19

I would give him a pat on the back!!!!  One can only take so much and I'd be talking to the head of that aftercare program since they didn't nip it in the bud in the first place!!

Answer 20

do not punish him. Be proud of him for standing up for himself. Go to the co-ordinator and explain what has been happening and ask her to reassess the decision