My son understand's speech, but doesnt talk. Why?

Question

Please read ALL the details before answering:

Our son just turned 3 years old a week ago. He is a very smart boy and understands a lot. You can tell him "pick out the orange circle", and he can do it. He understand pretty much anything we ask/tell him. So, he understands what words mean. However, he doesnt talk at all. Not even babbles. But he sure can scream, lol.

He has been in speech therepy for 1.5 years now with no progression what-so-ever. In fact, he has gotten worse. He wont even use sign language, or point to what he wants. He used to at least point. Not anymore. We live in a very small town, and travel more than an hour to get any kind of help. He has been evaluated, etc. No thought of autism by Autistic specialists. He has had MRI's, all kinds of tests, and everything comes out that he 'should' be fine and nothing is wrong. They say "just give him time."

I dont understand why my son isnt talking, he understnad speech, just has no interest in using it for himself. He goes to play-groups with other kids his age, therepies, special language movies, books, toys. He is getting all, and extra learning time and one-on-one time that he can. More than most kids twice his age. We even tried taking a 3 month break from most of it to see if that would help, and it didnt.

The specialists and doctors dont seem to have any ideas, input, or advice. There simply isnt any reason that he shouldnt be talking.

I'm a concerned parent, obviously. Any one else deal with this? Any opinions or advice?

Answer 1

You sound like a great parent and you are doing everything right. My son didn't talk until he was around three as well, we just had to be patient. Easier said then done I know!

When my little boy did talk it all came out at once lol! And he was an excellent talker.

Good luck xox.

Answer 2

This is what my mom told me: Kids either are physical or talkative. My guess is that he learned to walk early. Some kids just learn to talk later then others, that's ok! He is obviously extremely intelligent for his age for being able to pick out an orange circle. He understands which is important in itself. He sounds observant and completely normal. Here is what I think though....

Maybe you are putting too much pressure on him? If a kid feels even the slightest bit of pressure they will buckle and hide within themselves. Is there stress anywhere in his life? Like a new baby? a move? new bedroom? new caregiver? Shoot, it can be the smallest thing like a new car! I think just let it go, and let him be. If his DR's feel he is ok, then he will be fine. Sometimes it is hard to let go and just let things be, but that's what you might just have to do. It doesn't sound like your son is giving you much of a choice! You sound like a caring parent who only wants best for their child and it is really hard to let go because you love him so much.

The speech therapy probably doesn't hurt, but you might be stressing him out with everything else. But do what your DR thinks is best.

Answer 3

has he been evaluated for apraxia or aphasia? My son has oral apraxia and did not say more than 10 words until he was more than 27 months old. he has trouble moving his tongue both up and down and from side to side. we have been working on it for 7 months now and he is doing very well, but we are still trying to get him into special needs preschool for some additional help.

feel free to contact me for further info.

Answer 4

Two thoughts....

1) Has he been checked for tongue tie

2) have you tried communication temptations. where you set up a situation which will require him to communicate (either verbally or non-verbally) such as giving him cereal without a spoon etc.

oh also, have you tried boardmaker (you'll know what I mean if you have)...pictures etc.

Please answer and I'll try and think of anything else

ETA>>>. you didn't ad whether he'd been checked for tongue tie (or low muscle tone now that I think of it). Is he particularly stubborn in other aspects of his life?

also...what kinds of exercises etc do they have you doing now? I know this is becoming very back n forth but I'd love to help if I can.

Can he laugh/cough? (what i mean is he able to produce any noises...you say he doesn't babble but does anything ever come out?)

Has he ever had an endoscopy to see how his vocal folds (cords) are functioning.... it may be way off the mark but I'm trying to suggest anything that may help.

Has our speechie recommended starting from the beginning and rather than trying to get him to talk, focusing on getting him to babble first. You can do this by playing lots of babbling games....bouncing him of your knee sying bubububububu etc.

Also...how is his feeding... did he have trouble sucking when he was a baby does he eat well now..(I mean the action of eating/chewing, not the food he is actually eating)

Answer 5

I am not sure what could be causing this but I know that as a mother, you need to follow your instincts. If you feel that there is actually something wrong, don't stop until you find it. Medicine is a continually growing science. They are learning about new diagnoses every day. Just because one doctor doesn't know what is wrong, it doesn't mean that another one wont. Even if you have been to one specialist, do not hesitate to take him to a different hospital or specialist.

  My daughter had nausea for a year and a half and no doctor could figure out what was wrong with her. She had more tests than any child should have in their entire lifetime. (I was even told by certain specialists that because they had never heard of her problem that it just didn't exist- as if these doctors knew EVERYTHING)  Doctors just started telling me she was anorexic because she stopped eating since everything made her nauseated. I refused to accept that because as a mother, I KNEW something was wrong. I continued to push and it was very difficult at times but eventually I found a doctor who did a motility test on her gallbladder and he figured out her gallbladder was only functioning at 14% when the lowest it should ever be is 35%.  They finally removed her gallbladder and she is feeling much better and can actually eat now! ( I know this is a different problem than what you are having but my point is to not give up if you feel something is wrong)

  As for the not pointing for what he wants or even signing, I would have to let him throw a fit and then tell him when he points to what he wants, you will give it to him. Tell him you don't know what he wants until he shows you. (Because you know he understands) Keep playing stupid until he has to SHOW you what he wants. If you estimate his desires and just give it to him, this gives him no motivation to try to communicate. This is obviously not going to fix his speech problem but it can help him get back to at least pointing or signing his desires to you.

EDIT: If he will sit there content without expressing his needs, don't fill any of them. Eventually he will get bored. It might take a long time for it to happen but you can't just anticipate his needs and fill them and then expect him to show you what he wants. His desire for something has to exceed his desire to not communicate and it never will if you anticipate his needs. Did he cry as a baby when he was hungry? or Dirty? (That was a form of communication)

Answer 6

some children have a hard time forming words with their mouths, my sister didnt speak until she was four years old one day she just started talking and that was that. it just takes time for some kids more then others

Answer 7

Have him tested for autism or Asperger's syndrome

Answer 8

I had a son just like yours. I was totally freaked out like you are, because my son did not talk until he was 3, even though I knew he understood everything. He would not respond in speech therapy, either. But when he did start talking, he spoke in complete sentences! He's now 7 and perfectly normal and intelligent.

There MAY be something wrong with your son, but there's certainly a very strong likelihood that he just doesn't feel like talking yet. (Einstein had similar issues.) I know it sounds crazy, but I've heard of many cases -- especially of boys -- who acted like this. Just didn't want to talk!

(I assume you've had his hearing checked?)

If everything's been checked and he's normal, hang in there for another six months before you worry. I'll bet you he will start talking in the next few months.  

Answer 9

This can happen because may be they don’t quite know for sure how to use the words that are used. What I can recommend you to do is teach him or allow him to learn himself by playing with educational toy that are so popular now a days. I have visited a site which specializes itself with educational toys for kids. I will leave you the link, I’m sure that you will find the perfect game how to teach him.

Answer 10

Try really hard to speak to him but start making noises like 'a' then try to get him to repeat after you or with you, and really make big gestures when you are saying words to him (like open your mouth wide and say 'a'). Start of with small words and get him to repeat, but if this really doesn't work then i suggest that you pester the professional people that are trying to help to get him to speak. He might just be a little shy or really cant speak for some odd reason, but i have never heard of anything like that really and i would be very puzzled as to what is wrong with him. Hope you find a way, or your son starts speaking soon, so good-luck to you. x

Answer 11

your child might be suffering from what is called mutism or selective mutism.  

Answer 12

My cousin was like that when he was young. I know this isn't as profound as an answer as you'd probobly like, but just wait. It may be different for your son, but my cousin started talking about age 5 I think. Besides, it sounds like you've tried everything else and there's not much else you can do besides wait. But Kudos to you for being so active in trying to find out what's wrong. It'll be okay.

Answer 13

Well, your family is handling it differently, but I am guessing your M.D. has checked him over and there is nothing wrong with the physical parts of his speech mechanism.  Given that, it's probably fine.

My oldest cousin had a son, the 5th one I think, and Mikie didn't talk, he just pointed.  Nobody freaked, no speech therapy, but everyone except his mom and my mom was sure he was retarded - purely due to the lack of language.

His mom said he'd talk when he wanted something enough, that with four older kids all he had to do was point.  He bean talking with perfect diction at 3, and was using complete sentences within a week, using perfect grammar.  He became a programmer.

The kid is probably fine.