My son wants to 'keep me company'?

Question

He keeps getting up from bed saying that he wants to keep me company because my husband isn't home due to his work. It kind of tugs at my heart strings. Should I let him have some cuddle time or be strict and get him back to bed?

Answer 1

Oh yes sure!

My mum did that with me but don't let him do it every night or he will want to do when your husband IS here and you might want your privacy;)

Answer 2

Awww, Thats adorable! I would let him have his cuddles, He feels like he needs to look after his mummy, I think if you stop him it will hurt his feelings, I geuss if it isnt messing with his sleep too much then it cant do that much harm. Just make sure he knows its only for 5 minutes, then back to bed.

Kids are sooo cute!

Answer 3

aww, show him some affection.

Answer 4

aye let the lad have some cuddle time

Answer 5

hes only 7... let him cuddle with u in ur bed till his dad gets home, he'll probably fall asleep if he gets home late anyway

Answer 6

let him have a cuddle :0)

Answer 7

aww cuddle him for a little while then back to bed

Answer 8

Awww I agree with what everyone else has said- let him have some cuddle time. After all, it won't be too much longer before he is "too cool" for cuddling. Enjoy it while it lasts. :)

Answer 9

Aww look at that, 12 answers and they're all nice so far :)

We all think your boy is adorable. Keep on cuddling.

Answer 10

Aw, of course, let him have "cuddle-time"...many kids sleep w/Mom and dad still at this age-just nobody admits it!! My son still wants to, and he's 11! Not because he's scared of night, just for the "time"..which is special! :)I've learned many details about his life, days at school he's talked about while laying quietly in bed than I ever have ANY other time, so keep that in mind..

Answer 11

It is very sweet and only you can tell if he is doing this to be kind or to try and get some more 'up' time. But either way a child needs a certain amount of sleep, after all he does have school and needs to be 'bright eyes and bushy tailed' in the morning to go to school and learn. It may be hard but you wouldnt be helping him if you allowed him to stay up later. Just gently thank him for being kind and that he needs to get to bed, if this doesnt have the desired effect just add that you yourself wont be up for much longer as its late and your tired too.

Hope i helped.

Answer 12

No, allow him to stay in your bed unless he has a problem sleeping alone, but even then allow it. He's just thinking about you. He thinks you'll be lonely without your husband in your bed. Just tell him how much you appreciate his concern and give him some cuddle him. Hope this helps.

Answer 13

sounds like he's found a really effective way of not playing by the rules at bedtime.  if you are really so lonely that you can't manage without your son in the evenings, then let him look after you a bit, and be happy that you have such a sweet-natured boy.

if, however, you are able to cope with the evenings spent alone, insist that he goes back to bed.  your son is clearly feeling the absence of his father, and is adjusting to a new family situation where daddy isn't around so much.  although this is being expressed as a need for comfort (for you or for him), he will actually find it easier to cope emotionally if he is well-rested and getting adequate sleep than if he is tired and ratty because he has been up all night.

be aware that children are very good at finding ways around the rules, and that nobody is too young to be manipulative (i've seen an 18-month-old try and get her big sister into trouble for something she didn't do!)... stick to the rules, there's a reason you made them in the first place.

your son needs consistency to make him feel secure, and changing the rules about when he can or can't get out of bed can unsettle him further.  also, if you start changing the rules while your husband is away, you may well have a battle on your hands to change them back afterwards.  you may be inadvertantly sacrificing your alone time with your husband when he returns by letting your son get into the habit of being around you all evening - you can bet it's a privilege your son won't want to forgo in future!



try and find out if he is waking in the night or just not sleeping in the first place.  if it's the former, he may be more disturbed by his father's absence than he wants to let on - you should reassure him that his dad will be home soon enough and that you are able to manage in the meantime.  encourage him to talk to you and perhaps get his dad to call just before bedtime to reassure him further.  if he's just not getting to sleep in the first place, try making sure he gets more exercise than usual during the daytimes so he is more tired in the evenings.

explain to him that it is important for him to rest, and perhaps that it makes you worry that he doesn't get enough sleep.

you should also try to get him to talk about how he feels about missing his dad - clearly it's an issue for him, and by phrasing it as him wanting to take care of you, he's trying to avoid admitting that actually it's him that needs a bit of extra looking-after.  you could perhaps get him to write a letter to his dad if he's away for a while - it can be more therapeutic in a lot of ways than speaking on the phone.  if it's just that his dad is getting home late from work each day and leaving early in the morning, then tell your son that his daddy will look in on him when he comes in, to make sure that he's ok and he's sleeping properly.  stress that it is important for both you and your husband that your son sleeps, and that you would feel like a bad parent if you didn't send him back to bed.  tell him that it's ok to miss his dad but that the time to talk about it is in the daytime.

you should be fitting all the cuddle time he needs into the daytime before bedtime.  you decided when his bedtime should be for a reason, and if it takes a few minutes extra cuddling to make him feel secure enough to sleep, then you will have to find time for this before, not after, bedtime.

Answer 14

Maybe he misses his day and he want you to kind of fill both positions for the time being.

You can let him snuggle with him, but if this seem to make it tired and crabby. Snuggle with him in his bed. when he falls asleep you can leave. or sit with him. It's up to you.

Answer 15

I agree with most everyone else - give him some cuddle time, assure him you are ok and he is ok and that your husband loves him and wishes he were there......let him "keep you company" for about 10 minutes, then back to bed......

Answer 16

I'm glad to see you're so concerned about doing what's best for your son. It can be easy to think that you're spoiling him or something, but I've got to go with everyone else here. He's just a little kid—give him some snuggles with mommy!

Answer 17

I think you should cuddle him but also keep some boundaries.

Answer 18

I believe that you should allow your son some "cuddle time". It is apparent that he really cares for you and misses his father. It is very important to have an emotional relationship with your child, and this "cuddle time" will make him feel safe and secure, even if his father is coming home late. However, as soon as your husband comes home and your son says good night to him, you should tell him to get back to bed. You should still maintain the boundaries with your child, so your child does not think that he can stay up as late as he wants because of any reason. The key idea is to allow the emotional time with your child, but as soon as the problem is solved, you should maintain your rules and send your child back to bed.

Answer 19

I think he wants to spend time with you and maybe misses his dad also.  Just don't get sucked into it every time because he will learn to use it whenever he wants to stay up late.  Kids are smart that way!

Answer 20

awwww thats so cute

yeah you should cuddle him

He probably misses his dad, and he thinks your probably feeling lonely too so wants to be there to keep your company.

Allow cuddle time for 15-30 min. Have little chat etc. and then let him know he needs to go back to bed. Or if he falls asleep but him back to bed.

Am sure he knows once his father is back, he wont be needing to do it again.

Answer 21

I presume you've considered the possibility that he's doing it for his own personal reasons and not really "to keep you company" as sweet as that is. Perhaps he misses his father and doesn't feel safe without his presence. I'd recommend letting him have some "cuddle time" whilst your husband is away, but perhaps be stricter when your husband is present.

Sorry I just presumed your husband was also his father, sorry if that was an incorrect assumption.

Answer 22

give him a cuddle time - 5-10 minutes and then off to bed!

its nice though

Answer 23

My 5 year old daughter is pushing the bedtime boundaries like crazy right now.

What I've started to do is push bedtime rituals back a bit earlier. That way I can do an extra book and longer snuggle.

Abby and I lie in her bed at the end of the day and just talk about how her day was. It helps settle her in for the night by relaxing her and gives me more "just us" time.

Cherish it while you can! They grow up So fast!

Answer 24

Let him cuddle because it probably makes him feel like he taking his father's position when your husband is not home.Let him cuddle and then walk him to his room to send him to bed.Or maybe if you want he could sleep in your bed for the remaining time of that night.

Answer 25

aww thats so sweet... hes only 7 don't take this opportunity for granted. ur son is coming to u and u should let him knoe u'll be there. try and tell him that ur rlly tired n would prefer if he could go bak to his bed after let's say 10 minutes. it's important to let him knoe that he should be a big boy n go to bed in the end but if ur too strict it will give him a sign when he's older that he can't talk to u. trust me when hes a teen u'll want him back cuddling into bed with u

Answer 26

Cuddle time should be in his bed not yours. That way he knows his place is his bed. habits happen quickly and too much cuddle time in your room will continue even when your hubby is home... That is tough to stop. So give him the affection he needs but do it in his room.