My son was kicked out of a private preschool...Has anyone ever had this happen to them?

Question

The school said my son is not "smart" enough to stay in their program. My son has a learning disabillity and he also has epelepsy. I am crushed, of course, but is there anything I can do? Legally I am not looking to sue (unless it comes to that), but what bothers me is that he loves this school. Here is the thing though, technically he really is not that behind. I was told his drawing of himself was like a 3yr old would draw (he is 4), but when I compare the drawing he is up to par. (His drawing is a circle for a head a nose, eyes, a smile and directly from the head are two legs and feet at the end of each leg) Could you please give me honest (but serious) answers. I cried for hours. I just don't know what to do.

He has only gone to this school since September, but he has friends there. The school is private, but is Federally funded and they are Christian based. Please someone help us..

Answer 1

It sounds like the school just doesn't want to deal with your son's problems..or potential future problems due to the LD and the epilepsy.  I would investigate this further and have the school give you a very thorough explanation so you can get a better insight.  I am sure they are basing their decision on a lot more than just one picture.  Also, the school could be for students they feel are academically gifted and they have a high standard for the work the students do...even at a preschool level.

But, it really isn't the end of the world.  For the next school, find out if they would be able to handle his learning disability and the epilepsy and would be able to give him extra academic attention if he needs it.  Yes, your son will miss his old friends, but he will make new friends at the next preschool you enroll him in.

Answer 2

I was VERY surprised that a child can be "kicked out" of a preschool because they are not "smart" enough! He doesn't sound to me like he is very delayed, and the epilepsy should not be a problem. This is defiantly not a preschool I would want my children going to. I am a Christian, and a Christian based preschool would be very important to me, but somehow that preschool doesn't seem as tolerant as I would expect real Christians to be.

As far as your son goes, I don't think this has anything to do with him. I think it has everything to do with the staff at that preschool! They have obviously lost their perspective on educating preschoolers

Start looking for a smaller Christian based preschool in your area, I'm sure there are other good ones, probably better! After a while he will become attached to the people in that school and do very well!

Answer 3

A preschool can't kick some one out because of abilities or lack of. I'm not sure about private schools, but I think they have to follow federal regs. if the are federally funded.  I had a 5 year old that drew like you son does, and he started kindergarten. He doesn't have epelepsy though. He was able to progress from drawing like that, to one day, he came to me with a picture, saying, "teacher look what I did!" It was a drawing of a person with a head and body as two different characteristics, hair, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, legs and arms coming off the body which had the head on top. Also, from his hands extended a few fingers and he drew a tree next to him self. There was even a ground. I was shocked, had I been sitting in a chair, I'd a fallen out. I did she him working on it so I know he drew it, but I hadn't seen the final product until he showed me. Your son should be able to go to any school as long as his condition doesn't pose a safety risk to the other children.  Read this page, it has all the questions you may have and the answers to them. Also check out this day care site, you may be able to find a day care with this company since they are the largest in the country.

Answer 4

I can understand that this would be really upsetting. Do not waist any more of your energy on this pre school. Their attitude stinks, to put it mildly. The fact that they have excluded your child says more about them than it does your child.I would suggest that you look for another pre school where they have a more caring ethos. In my experience 'private pre schools and schools do tend to have this awful attitude. Your sons drawing sounds pretty good to me, but that is not what this is all about and they should not have made you worry about something so trivial. I would not want their attitude anywhere near any child. 'Christian based' you say...well I find that laughable!

Have a good look round at other providers, good luck.

Answer 5

Ugh; this makes me mad. They probably did you and your son a favor so now you'll be able to find a good school that utilizes developmentally appropriate practices. You son sounds completely fine with his level of drawing. He needs a preschool environment that is rich in experiences and will let him freely explore without fear of failing. Look for a school that is NAEYC accredited. They should be using developmentally appropriate curriculum & practices. Find out how long the teachers have been there (make sure there isn't a quick turnover of teachers) and find out what their credentials are. Also make sure they're not packing the most number of children in per class as allowed by law (in our state the ratio for 4 year olds are 20 to one teacher- Yikes!). A center that is not for profit will have smaller classes that will enable your child to have more attention. Best wishes.

Answer 6

It is sad that they told you your son is not smart enough to attend the school.  

Perhaps they should have told you that their staff is not trained to provide children with disabilities the quality of education that they deserve.

Answer 7

Put your son in a non-religious school. If you have a public one or less up tight one put him in that. Personally I think religious schools brainwash little kids. Maybe expose him to god but don't force it.

I would say a public preschool is more beneficial than a private because he is getting more diversity, but still learning basic principles to prepare him from kindergarten.

Answer 8

Unfortunately private preschools can ask students not to return. You should have been given a parent handbook when you enrolled your son. If you were given one there should be information regarding rights to dismiss students. If you were not given one then I would check with your states department of education website because I believe that the school must give every parent a handbook with all of the rules for the school. I know that it may be hard to accept right now, but if that is the way the school is going to treat their students then it probably isn't a place you want your child to be. Good luck!

Answer 9

Your school is required to follow the Americans with Disabilities Act. If your son has a diagnosis they must make reasonable accommodations. Contact the Human Rights folks in your area, or ask your local school district who is responsible for enforcement in your area. On the other hand, they sound like terrible people who deserve to be sued just for the annoyance and embarrassment factor.

Answer 10

Private, Christian based...well there's your answer as to the why. They are smug, judgmental, self serving narrow minded bigots who are not treating your son fairly at all. One, they had NO RIGHT to EVER say that to ANY parent; your son is not "smart enough?" Wow. You should absolutely sue for discrimination and they may be in violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. (ADA)

I understand your grief; however, it is important that you not let your son see it or he will think it is his fault and he has more than enough to handle now. Get him into another school, preferably public, that will be more accomodating and helpful, not to mention fair and empathetic. Poor lilttle guy. Give him extra love and attention now so he doesn't feel so bad about losing that dreadful school and his friends.

Answer 11

I work with special education preschool students and have heard this story from parents many times. Usually the parents that have come to me have  had their children "dismissed" from private preschool usually more often for behavior problems related to their disabilities instead of lack of skill, but it is a very common problem and I have not found a parent who has found a way to take recourse against the private schools. Pretty much a private school can make up their own rules and don't have uncle sam looking over their shoulder like public programs. Even if you could do something like someone else mentioned given their attitude and overall unwillingness to accommodate your son I don't think it would be beneficial to stay in a program where the adults have such an attitude even though your son has made friends as is doing well in your opinion. There are two things i would do. 1. is given your son is 3 and does have some special needs I would go to your local school district and ask for an assessment. This is free to you in the U.S. and i think would give you some piece of mind and confirmation hopefully that your child's development is only mildly behind. This will also give you an idea about any areas to work on at home and information you could share with the next school about yours sons strengths as well as his needs. 2. Is don't be afraid to be honest with the next school about why your son was asked to leave. Share with them your fears and frustrations. I have often found that preschools who have taken in a child who failed in another program will often go out of their way to make your child succeed in their program when the parents are honest and communicative with them. They will see your hurt and concern and not want that repeated.

I know it is hard to not be hurt when someone has done this to the love of your life, but it is actually better they did it sooner than later so your son would not be around people like that. I don't think Lawyers is the way to go but one of my families did hire an advocate to go into the school to make sure they were treating their child with mild disabilities appropriately and to give them tips on working with him in his weak areas. Good luck and don't loose heart.

Answer 12

I'm not sure of federal law on private schools and IDEIA, the reinstated individuals with disabilities educational improvement act, but your child having a documented disability may put them at risk of not following the federal guidelines and result in a loss of federal funds.  Unless your child is physically harming others or himself, you may have a case.  You may want to consult with the Dept of public health in your area and have an Individual Family Service Plan (IFSP) put into place for your son.  They can advise you on your rights regarding this school's actions.

The ability to draw has absolutely nothing to do with academic success.  My daughter never got to take art class all her years in elementary school because they pulled her for gifted classes.  She was reading at the age of three and was never enrolled in a preschool.  What you do yourself for your child is far more important than what any preschool will do.  Read to him, play with him, advocate for him, and hang in there for him.

Answer 13

Considering the school is a private preschool I am not surprised.  Most private schools do not allow for children with disabilities, behavior problems or learning problems.  Unfortunately there is most likely nothing legal you can do either.  I would ask for (in writing) why your child was discharged from the program and then see if anything can be done.  However, I would bet to say that if anything what you can do will be minimal.  Most schools will not put themselves in line of a lawsuit willingly.

Good luck, I hope you are able to get your child back into the preschool.  It is a horrible situation.