My son will not number 2 in the toilet! What should I do?

Question

My son is 4 years old and he will not p**p in the toilet. He will pee in the toilet and he does great with that but why wont he p**p in the toilet PLEASE HELP!!

Answer 1

Both my sons did the exact same thing.  Their doctor told me it's much harder for them to go sitting down than squatting.  She told me to put them on a small dose of laxative (for children) once a day until the p**p is slightly runny.  This way, when they sit down on the toilet, it comes out with no work.  Once they see how easy it is, they lose their fear of going on the toilet.  Then you gradually decrease the laxative until they aren't taking any.  It sounds bizarre, but really it only means giving them a laxative for maybe 1-2 weeks, depending.  I'd ask your doctor first, and what everyone else says is true, too.  This is all something that will pass (no pun intended.)

Answer 2

My son went through this too.  He was 3 years and almost 2 months before we got him to start pooping in the potty.  We got him to start using a children's potty when he was about two and a half, but he was never a fan of the potty, and we didn't want to push the subject too much.  Then age three came and went and he still did not want to use the potty!  It was a very frustrating time.  Now, let me tell you that my son is a very stubborn, headstrong little boy.  I think part of his refusal to use the potty was a control issue.  

We did eventually get him to use the potty to pee, but he did not want to p**p in the potty - he wanted his diaper.  When we would try to make him use the potty, he would scream and cry.  He even gave himself constipation issues (which is where I suspect this all began), trying to hold it in.  My son had a couple of very hard, very large bowel movements, and, trying to pass them in a diaper really hurt him.  We tried to convince him that if he would just use the potty, he would be able to get the p**p out a lot easier.  Sometimes he would try to go in the potty, and he would be so proud of himself.  We would celebrate with hugs and cheers, and we'd do a little potty dance.  But then the next day, he wouldn't want anything to do with that potty.  This went on for several months.  

When he turned three, his daycare would not let him move up to the pre-school room because he would not even try to potty-train.  Then one day, two months later, the pre-school teacher let my son go to her class and be with the big kids for the day.  That night, daddy helped him p**p on the potty (I was working), and when I got home from work he was so excited that he had gone in the potty.  I let him wear "big boy" underwear to school the next day (he had been wearing diapers because he wouldn't even try to potty train); with a little suggestion from Mom, he wanted to wear his underwear to school.  They let him go back to the preschool class again that next day, and he went again in the potty at home that night.  He has been in underwear ever since.  My son litterally potty-trained himself overnight.  I think he just wanted to make this decision for himself.  I just can't stress that enough - my headstrong boy made the decision to go in the potty, not me.

He just turned four last month, and he has only had a few accidents.  (Some of those accidents were the result of a new baby sister he wasn't so crazy about - but, leaving the baby sister out of the equation, he's only had two or three accidents in the past year)

I thought I would share my experience with you so that you might get another mother's perspective.  But, every child is different.  I believe this is a very common problem with little ones.  I also believe that there are lots of different reasons for this problem.  Some may do it to assert control in the one place they can (which I KNOW that's what my son was doing), some children might be afraid of the potty - start out with a children's potty, if you haven't tried that yet.  My son likes the big potty, and he has his own potty seat that sits on top of the big potty to give him a safer feeling (and keep him from falling in).  If your son has constipation issues, he might be afraid that it will hurt.  This is hard because it causes a vicious cycle of holding it in, and hurting when he goes.  (My son did that too - and eventually, it began to hurt less as he was no longer constricted by the diaper and gravity helped the bowel movent to happen).  I'm sure there are various other reasons as well.

Try and be patient - one thing I learned is the harder you push them, and the more stressed you get about the situation, the more they will resist.  Give loving and encouraging words.  It's hard and frustrating, but don't give up.  It'll happen eventually.  Good Luck.

Answer 3

Boys are typically slower to potty train.  Just relax, he won't go to High School in a pull-up.  I would just lay off of him.  Just clean him up when he soils himself without making a fuss and praise him like crazy when he does go in the toilet.  It will work out.

Answer 4

My son did the same thing. For some reason he was really afraid to p**p in the toilet. He would hold it for days then p**p in his underwear. I finally got tired of fighting the battle and told him that he could wear a pull up when he had to p**p. When he would tell me he had to p**p, I would ask him if he wanted to go in the potty, of course he would say no and then I would put a pull up on him. We did that for a couple of months and then one day he just decided he wanted to try to p**p in the potty and he's been doing it ever since. I just let him make that decision and it worked for us. Good luck!